We’ve written about the Lingerie Football League a lot on With Leather lately, from their condescending video titles on YouTube to their 4Chan-friendly plans for pee-wee lingerie football, but the latest bit of news from the worldwide leader in mic’d panty shields may be the worst of all — Lingerie Football is offering one “lucky” fan a chance to hit their favorite LFL player during halftime at the Lingerie Bowl IX.

Yes, there’s a Lingerie Bowl. Yes, there have been nine of them.

Here’s your chance to score with the LFL! We’re giving one lucky fan the opportunity to experience what true fantasy football really is with a chance to tackle an LFL team player during halftime at Lingerie Bowl IX in Las Vegas! Enter now for your chance to win a VIP trip for you and a friend to Las Vegas and see if you can take down an LFL Player.

Prizing Includes:

• Roundtrip airfare for 2 to Las Vegas, NV
• 2 night hotel accommodations at the Palms Casino & Resort
• 2 Tickets to Lingerie Bowl IX
• Chance to tackle an LFL Player during halftime
• VIP Experience: Private meet & greets, no-wait VIP access to Lingerie Bowl Weekend parties in Vegas, autographed merchandise
• $250 Gift card

Maybe it’s just that kindness and sexual decency have put me in a position where I can touch a woman for a few seconds without having to win a contest, but what the hell is the selling point to being allowed to tackle a female Underwear Football player, and when did professional sports become the V.I.P. room at Pandora’s Men’s Club? Has there even been a more rapey sweepstakes prize? Do people watch Lingerie Football in the hopes that they might one day hurt their favorite player? I guess that makes sense. “Oh man, she’s wearing garters, and I get to sprint into her stomach with my shoulder and lie on top of her for a few seconds before security drags me away and shuffles me off to the Bellagio with a f**king VISA gift card.”

Somebody win this contest and refuse it. I think the team that wins the Lingerie Bowl should win the right to play their next season in pants.

[sorrowful h/t to Sportress]

Newly forged icon among men Kevin Provencher will serve two and a half years in prison after being found guilty of running a prostitution ring in Salem, Mass., Superior Court Friday. I never heard if the male-dominated Massachusetts press referred to this as the Salem B:tch Trials, because that title, while horrible, is quite snappy.

Provencher worked 23 years for the Manchester, N. H., Union Leader prior to his arrest in July of 2009. He is a four-time winner of the New Hampshire Sportswriter of the Year award from the National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association.

His attorney asked the judge to sentence Provencher to probation instead of jail, saying he had no previous criminal record and only started his “side business” to make up for a reduction in his sportswriter’s salary that resulted from the newspaper industry’s economic woes.

Prosecutor Melissa Woodward…said the women earned $240 per hour or $150 per half-hour and would pay Provencher in cash or by depositing the money in his bank account in 2008 and 2009.

–CNHI.

Glad to hear that entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well in the Northeast. Those student loans aren’t gonna pay themselves off, ya know.

We haven’t seen TV’s Tila Tequila since she was running for her life at a Gathering Of The Juggalos concert (pictured below). She’s rebounding in a big way, appearing the latest installment of “Between Two Ferns,” that one spoof show with that one guy from The Hangover. Watch as she and Zach double-team Jennifer Aniston, who I guess has a movie coming out or something.

Tequila was involved in a domestic dispute with Chargers defender Shawne Merriman (now with the Bills), who apparently restrained her after she allegedly tried to drive home from his place while intoxicated. Merriman actually spent two hours in jail over the incident, but that’s not as bad as having to play for the Bills.

“Tell Jennifer about yourself.” Oh, man. I don’t know how many people other than Zach Galifianakis can roll out the same shtick over and over and still make it unpredictably funny. And of course Aniston ruined it with a long ending. I should have come to expect that from a woman whose claim to fame was a layered haircut.

Via NY Mag and the ShareBros.

I don’t think this sort of thing is funny necessarily, but I’m amused that a guy can look at an exercise ball in his house and think to himself, “I need to throw this at my girlfriend’s face. And get it on video! Because that would be hilarious!” I have no idea how any human being in a relationship could think of that and not acknowledge it as the worst idea ever. Having said that, these men sacrificed their better judgement (and probably their relationships) for our amusement, and so we should probably enjoy the fruits of their labor. They would have wanted it that way. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s bad enough for Raiders coach Tom Cable that he’s stuck coaching the Raiders, but earlier this morning ESPN had interviews with a girlfriend and a former wife of his. Turns out that Raiders assistant coach Randy Hanson wasn’t the only thing Cable liked to beat on; apparently he was taking some of his work home, as both his ex-girlfriend and his ex-wife accused him of abuse.

In 1989, Sandy Cable sought a temporary order of protection, which said, in part, “On two occasions, one back in ’86 and the other in ’88, he hit me. The second time in the face, however on attempts to call law enforcement, my husband would rip the phone out of the wall.”

A third woman, Cable’s second wife Glenda, said in documents related to the couple’s 2008 divorce that “in the past he has been physically and verbally abusive to me.” –the monolith.

Cable says he only slapped his ex-wife after suspicions of infidelity, which apparently would make that totally okay. Beating your spouse is never okay, unless your spouse is a prostitute. And if your spouse is a prostitute, domestic violence really is the least of your problems. Unless you’re the head coach of the Raiders.

There's no way to confirm that the coed sparring here is a couple engaged in relationship issues, but that's what I like to imagine.  It seems like a relatively safe way to get aggression out and settle disputes in a manner that allows the man to win.

Just so I'm clear, I'm not condoning domestic violence here.  A man should never hit a woman.  In the face, anyway.  And body shots should be saved for only when she gets really out of line, like she tries to vote or get a job or something.