Tennis star Serena Williams was hanging out in the gallery at the Honda Classic golf tournament in Palm Beach Gardens over the weekend, and just like everyone else, she really wanted a picture of Tiger Woods. Unfortunately, the golf Gestapo takes its photography rules very seriously, so when Williams busted out her iPhone to snap a picture, one official told her to talk to his hand, because it seems that his face was unavailable at that time.

Needless to say, Williams first stared the stare of 1,000 demons at said official before firing off the meanest Tweet in the history of Tweeters.

Ok at this Golf tournament. Just saw @tigerwoodsI understand NO golf Apparently u can’t take pics. This security for mad and yelled at me

— Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) March 1, 2013

Okay, maybe that wasn’t really mean. I just didn’t actually understand it that well. Williams recovered her composure rather quickly – unlike other times in her young life – and she realized her mistake while noting that tennis players have to deal with constant photography. What’s fair is fair, or something to that nature.

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19-year-old tennis star Sloane Stephens became a Brent-Musburger-style overnight sensation when she upset Serena Williams at the Australian Open, gaining almost 40,000 Twitter followers in one night and earning congratulatory tweets from Shaq, Dirk Nowitzki, singer John Legend and more.

Serena’s response to the upset was pretty predictable — at one point she angrily broke her own racquet — but a quick look at Serena’s Twitter reveals why she might’ve been in a bad mood, and why she might’ve not been at 100% going into the match. I don’t want to overstate it, but it looks like her ankle ate the three-course meal chewing gum from Willy Wonka’s factory.

A pic of the swollen ankle is below. Warning: it may give you The Klumps flashbacks.

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I’ve done a few hours of research on this video, and I’ve decided you can watch it in one of three ways:

1. It’s underwear pitchstress Caroline Wozniacki imitating Serena Williams by putting a towel up his ass and down the front of her shirt, and it’s all in good fun, because tennis ladies are all pals.

2. It’s Caroline Wozniacki and Maria Sharapova laughing about how Serena Williams looks, which has a possibly-unintentional “two boney white ladies don’t like how the curvy black woman looks” vibe.

3. The Internet friendly “omg wish i wuz yer towel” response.

However you want to look at it (and I’m not advocating any response in particular) the truth of the video is that Wozniacki did not impersonate Serena’s best quality — winning tennis championships — and that the impression was closer to a Simona Halep thing anyway.

[h/t to Guyism]

Two weeks ago, the NFL announced that it had signed some pretty heavy hitters to endorse a new line of fan gear for women, and while it’s not as awesome as when the league did this, it’s still a hell of a statement. Based on the fact that women comprise nearly half of pro football’s fan base, the NFL has brought in some powerful female figures to introduce Jane Everywoman to the “It’s My Team” gear, and the first images hit the webs today.

Among those powerful women are Miami Dolphins 1% owner Serena Williams and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who is repping her Cleveland Browns gear. Obviously she’s not a Buffalo Bills fan because Jack Donaghy eventually owns them, and he plays the flute, which is worse than the piano. Sports!

“Forty-five percent of fans are female and that continues to grow,” says Tracey Bleczinski, vice president of NFL consumer products. “We do have something for everyone, and this campaign aims to communicate that if you are living and wearing football, you can do it every day, year-round.”

Meanwhile, New York Jets owner Woody Johnson’s wife, Suzanne, is appearing in the ads and she wants women to understand it’s about infusing fashion with a lady’s gameday attire, so she can look good when the New York crowd starts chanting, “Show your t*ts!”

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That's actually how I picture Dax Sheppard any time I hear his name.

The Teen Choice Awards took place last night in the fourth level of hell Los Angeles, and once again the big winners were the PR and marketing teams of Hollywood film and TV studios that busted their asses the hardest to make sure that people teenagers have never heard of inexplicably won awards. For instance, Zoe Saldana won Choice Movie Actress: Action for Colombiana, a film that .000000001% of teenagers actually saw. However, she won because she showed up, unlike Jennifer Lawrence, who would have won, because every teenage girl on Earth would have voted for her for The Hunger Games.

But that’s a different story for a different site. Instead, let’s pay tribute to those trendy teens and their sports heroes, as they once again voted to select the most relevant athletes of the day. The 2012 Teen Choice Award for Choice Male Athlete is David Beckham, while Choice Female Athlete is Serena Williams. Well, I am absolutely OUTRAG… actually, that’s not terrible. Beckham just re-upped with the reigning MLS Champions (I’d still have expected LeBron James to win), while Williams won both the singles and doubles titles at Wimbledon. So if teens indeed voted for them, I’m relieved. Of course, neither Beckham nor Williams showed up and Shaun White was the only actual athlete in attendance, but I guess it’s progress.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the future of this planet and our youth as a whole. Join me for a mini-rant after the jump, will you?

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Forbes magazine today released their annual The World’s Most Powerful Celebrities, a top 100 list that ranks stars based on press coverage, social media buzz and whose agents paid Forbes the most money to put them on a list. At the top of this year’s 100: Jennifer Lopez, who was settling nicely into obscurity as that lady on Eric Cartman’s hand in an old episode of ‘South Park’ before ‘American Idol’ rocketed her back to prominence. Former American Idol winner Taylor Hicks also made the list, coming in at number 4,544,022 between Burnsy and the golden voiced homeless guy.

Tiger Woods managed to hang on as this year’s highest ranking sports celebrity, coming it at number 12. The only other sports guy in the top 25 was LeBron James at number 15, despite Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal coming it at numbers 2 and 3 in “Press Rank” behind Lady Gaga. I don’t know how much of this list is based on math and how much of it is based on people at Forbes trying to name 100 celebrities, so bear with me.

Here’s a full list of the sports personalities who ranked this year:

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