Some of you may recall that Whitlock has either condoned (or possibly suggested) such image-related shenanigans before, when a smiling Whitlock was seen perversely peering through a keyhole at Erin Andrews that was used as the image for a column where he suggested that big time, mainstream sportswriters were jealous of Erin Andrews and proceeded to take vitriolic potshots at some of his colleagues, from Mike Lupica to Jay Mariotti. Whitlock has even softened his stance on one of his favorite targets, ham-fisted bloggers (if bloggers were ham-fisted, would Whitlock eat them? Huh), appearing on The Dan Patrick Show with Will Leitch and A.J. Daulerio.
Nevertheless, the above image is as disturbing as it is hilarious. The portly scribe has never looked better. Or worse. But either way, as long as he continues taking shots at arrogant, self-righteous windbags like Lupica and keeps bringing the self-deprecating humor about his weight and appearance, I’m willing to give him a pass - for now.
To be honest, I’m not sure what is more terrifying: the thought of Whitlock appearing partially-nude in “The Body Issue” (as opposed to his bulbous head getting photoshopped on top of Adrian Peterson’s body) or picturing Whitlock and Serena Williams comparing the size of their asses. Chilling.
There’s something to be said for losing in a dignified way, or at least being undignified in a totally awesome way. But I found Serena Williams’ berating of a courtside official Saturday to be neither of those. Neither did the people that ran the US Open, who fined Williams $10,000 for her outburst in that Kim Clijsters match and opened an investigation that could result in all of her winnings being lost.
“The average individual would look at that and say, ‘A $10,000 fine for what she did? What are you guys, crazy?’ The answer is: the process isn’t over,” tournament director Jim Curley said in an interview with The Associated Press.
Bill Babcock, the top administrator for Grand Slam tournaments, will review what happened Saturday night, when Williams yelled at a linesperson who called a foot fault with the defending champion two points away from losing to Kim Clijsters in the semifinals.
If Babcock determines Williams committed a “major offense,” the rules allow for a fine as high as all of a player’s prize money from the tournament — and a suspension, although Curley did not mention that as a possibility. via.
The word is that Willams turned her ire toward an official that called her for a foot fault and yelled:
“I swear to God I feel like taking this ball and shoving it down your fucking throat.” via.
No excuse can justify that. Serena should have been fined for threatening, whether she was playing in women’s singles or playing linebacker for the Jets. Just admit that you screwed up and move on, girl. Just because you let some white girl kick your ass doesn’t mean you have to take it out on the Asians.
Tennis phenoms Venus and Serena Williams are looking to purchase a share of the Miami Dolphins from new owner Stephen Ross, joining other celebs such as Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony and that one chica that used to date Ben Affleck.
“We don’t know what’s going on,” Williams said after her second-round match at the Rogers Cup Wednesday night in Toronto. “There’s been preliminary talks and, hopefully, it will work out. I mean, that would be a great opportunity for both of us. We’ll see what happens.”
Reports from the United States suggested an announcement would be made on Tuesday. The sisters live about an hour from where the Dolphins play. via.
Is there anyone reading this right now that DOESN’T own a share of the Miami Dolphins? Anyone? I think Ufford picked up his share last week. This is turning out to be the People’s Football Team. They should change their colors to red and gold and adopt the hammer-and-sickle as their logo. That’s a communism joke. Nothing dries up readership or women’s panties like economics talk.
After everyone made a big deal about all the grunting in Wimbledon, ladies’ singles champ Serena Williams went on Letterman to discuss the dynamics of the grunt. And it’s probably better that she did it here than on Conan, where she’d have to flash a fake driver’s license glamour shot and stay in character for the whole interview. I don’t know off-hand which character she’d be, but Monica Seles sounds pretty good. Hey, Serena. Let’s reenact Hamburg in 1993. Some of you might have to look that one up. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
I wasn’t planning on writing an update on the scorching Australian Open today, then I saw Rafael Nadal’s Rambo face, and, well, I had to share.
Nadal (rawr!) continued his domination of the men’s bracket — he has yet to lose a set, by beating Frenchman Gilles “Jill” Simon 6-2, 7-5, 7-5 to advance to the semifinals, where he’ll face fellow Spaniard Fernando Verdasco.
On the women’s side, Serena Williams is the lone American remaining in the field; the other three semifinalists — Elena Dementieva, Dinara Safina, and Vera Zvonareva — are all Russian.
Serena advanced by beating Svetlana Kuznetsova in a match that began with the arena’s roof open before temperatures reached 107° (in excess of 130 on the court) and officials decided to close the roof. Oh yes, you read that correctly. “Hey, it’s 120 degrees on the court. Should we turn the air-conditioning on?” “Nah, let’s wait until gets f-ckin’ hotter.”
I don’t know what H Magazine is or what the H is supposed to stand for, but Serena Williams was in it last month, and she looks… not bad. It’s hard for me to be attracted to someone whose arms are bigger than mine (unless it’s Tom Brady **swoon**), so I can’t really be objective, but I think it’s fair to say she looks… if not super-sexy, at least glamorous.
The accompanying article is a fawning list of Serena’s athletic accomplishments, world travel, and selfless charitable acts that’s too mawkish to repeat here, but here’s one of the quotes:
[H]er charitable contributions and foundations have given millions over the years, from everything to the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund and the Special Olympics, to the aforementioned Build African Schools and her own Serena Williams Foundation. She expanded by saying, “I‘ve always felt that I needed to follow that old phrase or quote, I think it goes something like, ‘To whom much is given, much is required.’”
Yeah, Serena, I saw Spider-Man, too. Wait. Hold on a second. I’ve never been given anything. Woo-hoo, no requirements for me!
(More at RealTalkNY)
