Because nobody learned from UGA’s ‘The Dawgs Are Comin’ For You’, here’s a bunch of Texas A&M’s least coordinated white people doing choreographed dances to a hip-hop anthem about campus locations and semi-national burrito chains in Lawrence Knox’s ‘Aggie Swag’.

College kids, please write this down: No matter how many LMFAO videos you’ve seen you aren’t as good at rapping as your girlfriend flattered you into believing, so if you go to Virginia Tech and get an awesome idea to rap about Burruss Hall over a Kottonmouth Kings instrumental and call it “Bong Hokies”, don’t do it. The 15,000-ish YouTube hits you’ll get down outweigh the shame of bringing your Hot Chelle Rae “swagger” to the masses.

I’ve got to be honest, I was hoping there’d be a ‘California Love’ part at the end where he asks the various trade schools at the college if they’re in the house. “Agricultural, agricultural always up to no good. MECHANICAL, MECHANICAL WHERE YOU AT.”

[h/t Kegs 'N Eggs]

North Carolina State men’s basketball coach Mark Gottfried created/contributed to some rumblings on the old Twitters last night, saying that he has heard that Texas A&M and Florida State may join the SEC. Texas Governor Rick Perry has been praying daily for the SEC to call on A&M, and that shouldn’t surprise anyone because he’s an Aggie alum. But the news about FSU is a bit of a surprise, since the ‘Noles have been ACC mainstays for 20 years. Either way, the Internet is awake so the spin machines are working.

From the Orlando Sentinel:

If the rumors about Texas A&M do pan out, though, it would send the SEC to 13 teams and a potentially swollen SEC West division. That probably would send the conference looking for a suitable SEC East counterpart to balance the sides. For that reason, most believe Florida State, a team already located in the heart of Dixie, and with a big SEC-style following, would be that 14th team.

Sucks for you, University of West Florida. But won’t somebody crap on that rumor?

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Stephen Garcia has been suspended for the balance of the spring semester at the University of South Carolina, or “USC,” as nobody from outside the Palmetto State calls them. The school did not specify the reasoning behind the suspension, but one report claims that Garcia reprised his public drunkeness from 2007. You can’t go wrong with the classics.

Sources told ESPN.com‘s Chris Low that Garcia was disruptive and loud at a mandatory leadership seminar Tuesday night. According to the sources, alcohol could be detected on Garcia’s breath and he was asked to leave the event.

Garcia later admitted to Spurrier that he had been drinking prior to the event while celebrating teammate Kyle Nunn’s birthday, the sources said.

Keep in mind that this is less than a month after Garcia committed himself to staying out of trouble. Garcia led the Gamecocks to the SEC title game last year, so as long as he doesn’t fight any dogs or bargian-hunt at Dillards, he should be fine. Hey, alcoholism is just like a gambling addiction: it’s only a problem if you lose.

The Heisman race in college football is really just a Miss America pageant; its annual recipient doesn’t represent the best in the game so much as a guy that managed to keep his nose clean while playing for one of the best teams in the country. And so I’m usually given pause whenever a guy wants to deem someone “unworthy” of the prize, which is what one columnist is already doing with Auburn quarterback and Awesome Football Player (TM) Cam Newton.

So listen closely, Heisman voters: Do not vote for Newton. That’s surely a heartbreaking message for most of you, who basically had already given him the award for college football’s most outstanding player.

But remember, just less than two months ago, disgraced New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush in an unprecedented move returned the Heisman Trophy that he won in 2005. That was after the NCAA determined he was ineligible that season at USC for having accepted hundreds of thousands of dollars in benefits from two agents.

When Bush won the award, there were no signs of potential impropriety. Yet with Newton, a junior, now there are. Yes, they are allegations, but the kind that aren’t worth risking the return of another Heisman Trophy. –Thayer Evans/FOX Sports.

So basically Evans is saying not to vote for this guy because that other guy turned out to be taking money ergo this guy is obviously dirty because allegations always turn out to be true, even when they come from OTHER SKEWLS IN THE AYESS-EEE-SEEE! I hope whoever wrote this gets cavity-searched the next time he’s in an airport. You know, just to be on the safe side. More charges against Cam Newton.

College football’s national signing day was yesterday, and although nobody knows why they have it so close to the end of the season, or why it’s a single day, most people seem to agree that the teams of the Southeastern Conference were the big winners. Five SEC programs made the top ten of both Rivals’ and ESPN‘s recruiting rankings, and Florida’s class was ranked No. 1 by ESPN and Scout.

When Urban Meyer announced he was leaving Florida because of health concerns Dec. 26, it sent shockwaves through college football and into the living rooms of a number of the nation’s top recruits. The Gators already had assembled one of the nation’s best recruiting classes, but many prospects feared what a future without Meyer would bring in Gainesville.

Meyer is known for pouring his heart and soul into the relationships with his players and recruits. Consequently, he quickly changed his mind and decided he would not retire. Instead, Meyer said he would take a short leave of absence – which he said would begin today and end before the start of spring practice. –Rivals

Rivals had Florida ranked first before bumping Meyer’s program to make room for…Southern Cal?! Apparently Lane Kiffin secured commitments from five 4-star recruits as the day wound down, bolstering the Trojans’ incoming class. As for Kiffin’s former program, only Scout had Tennessee out of their top ten. Which would have been better if Auburn, Alabama and LSU weren’t ahead of them. Oh, to be ranked in the top ten nationally, but only fifth in your own conference. I think I just heard Verne Lundquist reach climax.

It’s bad enough that the Big Ten turns out vastly inferior football teams than the SEC; now the SEC is even getting top billing in Playboy’s “Girls of the Big Ten” issue.  Miss October Kelly Carrington (aka Kelly Hemberger), an undergrad at Florida, appears on the cover of this month’s issue, and her spread includes photos of her in a Gators jersey.  So why no Big Ten girl on the cover of the Big Ten issue?

“There weren’t any girls from the Big Ten who were hot enough to be on the cover, so they had to pull someone from the SEC,” she quipped.

Let’s go to the judges… annnnnd… yep, that’s a burn.  Let’s all just sit back and enjoy this a little bit.  Few things in life are as good as a woman who gets naked for money telling other women who got naked for money that they’re not attractive.  Girls are way easier to talk to when their self-confidence is destroyed.

[Deadspin]