According to the gossip brewing from Los Angeles in the wake of the Golden Globes, the NFL Network is assembling an all-star cast to for a promo set to air during the Super Bowl.

The NFL Network spot plays on the eclectic group of celebrity friends who attend Cincinnati Bengal Chad Johnson's Super Bowl party. Confirmed to appear are L.L. Cool Jand country band Rascal Flatts, with Martha Stewart catering.

"Janet Reno and David Beckham are also on the wish list," says the source. "Larry David said he might do it. Also, we're trying to get Predator, from the movie," [said the source.] 

This actually sounds totally realistic. I'd be completely unsurprised to see Martha Stewart cooking for Chad Johnson. Besides, she kinda looks like she'd be into black dudes. 

A source familiar with negotiations says [Britney] Spears' people were turned down flat when they asked about participating. "She's too much of a train wreck," says the insider. "Besides, we already have Paris Hilton."

Indeed. Personally, I've always felt that one diseased vagina is one too many, but I can understand the desire to have one around to add an element of danger.

As for Britney, well… Chad Johnson invited Janet Reno but not her. It would probably be for the best if she just killed herself. Her children are better off fending for themselves at this point. At least growing up feral they'll have a chance to survive.

BradyFan83 — the composer of such With Leather video tributes to Randy Moss, Tom Brady, and others — has a new song calling for more tasteful touchdown dances. I'll give you a hint: T.O. + Ocho Cinco + Journey = a very happy Friday.

Also, after the jump, another BradyFan83 tribute, this one to T.J. Houshmandzadeh, set to the soothing melodies of Billy Joel. 

Chad Johnson has been fined $5000 for the "Ocho Cinco" nameplate he wore in pregame warm-ups before the Bengals' game against the Falcons. It violated strict NFL rules against entertaining the fans and having a personality.

Seriously, what a bunch of cockgoblins. I'm not a Bengals fan, but as an NFL fan I really appreciate the lengths to which Johnson goes to entertain us. Unlike certain wide receivers who shall remain nameless, he isn't bitching about the team and not getting the ball; he's drawing attention to himself in a playful manner. He acts like it's actually fun to play a sport for a living. Crazy, right?

Well, that fun will be $5000. 

Oh, and he shaved the golden mohawk, because he didn't come through with two TDs against the Falcons. What a crappy Friday.

Wait, did I say eighty-five? I meant ocho cinco. Chad Johnson is celebrating the NFL's Hispanic Heritage Month by referring to his number in Spanish. And, okay, "eight five" isn't exactly the same as "eighty-five," but who talks Mexican anyway?

This is part of a larger return to form for Chad, as he gears up for this Sunday's game against Atlanta and his verbal sparring partner DeAngelo Hall. From the man himself:

"Hey, I'm a man who takes risk. Coach (Marvin) Lewis has told me to tone it down. He's told me to be quiet. I've been quiet all year. I haven't said much. I'm back. I'm going to let it rip. I'm celebrating. I'm going to score. I'm going to score more than once. I'm tired of being quiet. I ain't had no motivation. I ain't had no energy. I ain't had no drive. Nothing to look forward to on Sunday. I don't care if they put five people on me. I'm going to get it done this week."

Fucking. Awesome. Johnson also proclaimed that Hall would have to resort to flipping burgers at Fat Burger after the game. Which might be true, especially if Hall gets assigned the Bengals' best receiver, T.J. Houshmandzadeh.

Still: welcome back, Chad. I've missed you.

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis is apparently more concerned with his team's performance than our entertainment. Chad Johnson, speaking after yesterday's exhilarating 17-14 win over Carolina in which his diving catch on a ballsy (stupid?) 4th-and-1 call was a key play, noted that the coach's existing gag order now extends to Johnson's celebrations on the field: 

"What you see from me is what [Lewis] wants – just make your plays and go back to the huddle. So that's what I'm going to do. Going to be no more talking, no nothing. Just go out there and play, go home. If that's what it takes to make us a better team, so be it.'' 

Asked if that means no more touchdown celebrations, Johnson nodded.

"Very lame, isn't it?'' he said.

Fuck yes it's lame. Gee, great work on getting Chad to settle down, Coach. But don't you think the Bengals are a little too disciplined? C'mon, let your players go out and have some fun.