Much to my surprise, the National Scrabble Championship is currently in its final round right down the street from me, and I’m upset that I wasn’t aware because Greg Tolan and I could have done some nerd wedgie curls to prepare for the football season, but it seems that this year’s Scrabble field is safe. That is, except for one real piece of S-H-BLANK-T who decided that he was above Scrabble law during yesterday’s second round of action.

Competitors brought some scandalous behavior to the attention of National Scrabble Association director and (I assume) sex addict John D. Williams, Jr. who proceeded to stew this buttwad.

Williams would not identify the player by name or age because he’s a minor. There are four divisions and he was competing in Division 3.

The cheating was spotted by a player at a nearby table, who noticed the ejected player conceal a pair of blank tiles. When confronted by the tournament director, he admitted to it.

The tournament concludes Wednesday, with the winner receiving the $10,000 top prize. (Via Orlando’s Local 6)

If there’s one thing I can’t stand and will not tolerate, it’s cheating at board games. If I were the director of the National Scrabble Association, there’s only one way that I’d ever consider letting this punk kid back into my prestigious competition…

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Two weeks ago, nerds from across Great Britain gathered to compete for the national Scrabble championship, a title so monumental that women don’t even bother wearing panties around the champions lest they soak them instantly. But this year’s championship is perhaps the most unique in the event’s history, as the champion is transsexual. Thirty-two year old Mikki Nicholson has been diagnosed as a “woman trapped in a man’s body.” This is unrelated to my current lawsuit involving a “woman trapped in a man’s basement.”

Nicholson won the tournament with the word obeisant, which means respect, and for his/her efforts, he/she won £1,500 and he/she plans to use that money to travel to Malaysia in December for another Scrabble championship. That sounds like a great idea unless I’m completely missing something, Press Association…

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People are saying that Chad Johnson is a jerk for his actions towards a local TV reporter in this video.  But that's just typical media bias and racism.  Chad signs autographs for his fans throughout most of the video, then he's even polite enough to ask the reporter how he's doing.  How was his offseason?  How is his ankle?  When was the last time you saw a star athlete show such interest and concern for a member of the media?  The only problem with Chad Johnson is that his heart may be a little TOO big.

[FanIQ] 

In case you missed Chad Johnson's interview on SportsCenter last night, here it is in all of its awkward glory.  Johnson, who has subtly hinted that he wants out of Cincinnati by doing things like posing in front of a Redskins "85" jersey and saying he wants out of Cincinnati, gave the phone interview to address coach Marvin Lewis's statement that the team was ready to move on without Johnson.  The result — especially the final minute and a half or so — is as awkward as an Arrested Development scene or trying to tell someone you have gonorrhea, so they should probably get tested.  Or so I would imagine.

You know what this blog needs?  More stories about Bengals wide receivers.  Up next on With Leather: Why isn't TJ Houshmandzadeh more controversial?  An all-new controversy. 

Funny UPDATE: Chad Johnson at the drive-thru 

"WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  I scored!!!  All right, who's ready for my celebration?  I promised entertainment, and you are about to get it!  Just as soon as I get over to the sideline!  One second.  Yep, gotta run over to the bench first.  Hold on.  Wait a sec.  Oh, this is gonna be sweet.  Hold on, sometimes it takes a while.  Wait for it.  Wait.  It's about to happen.  Just gotta get it out of this trash bag.  PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE FAILED EXTRA POINT!  Okay.  Okay.  Okaaaaaaaay…. it's about to happen… NOW. Ta-da!  Future Hall of Famer, baby!  Wooo!  How's that for spur-of-the-moment excitement?"

[Awful Announcing] 

More NFL… 

For those of you interested in things like "scores" and "recaps" (losers), the Bengals survived a hard-hitting, sloppy, and exciting game against the Ravens last night, prevailing 27-20 after a courageous goal-line stand that ended in an interception by diving defensive lineman Michael Myers.  This was after the Bengals had held the line for three downs, allowed a Todd Heap touchdown on 4th down that was negated by offensive pass interference, and given the Ravens a fresh set of downs with an illegal contact penalty on the next 4th down play.  Much excitement, and very enjoyable if you don't have debilitating heart disease.

The late game provided a similarly exciting finish, but was preceded by 57 minutes of crap.  At least that's what the recap of the Niners' 20-17 win over the Cards told me.  I sure as hell didn't watch.  But hey, Alex Smith was apparently Joe Montana against Arizona for one drive.  And whatever they used to call Candlestick Park is now Bill Walsh Field, which I think is nice.  Not quite as nice as my abs, but then what is?

Sadly, we can't really add this to the tally of Bengals getting arrested; however, a Cincinnati man named Thomas Monahan, claiming Chad Johnson reneged on a promise to give away a Lexus, is suing the popular wide receiver, as well as the comedy club that held the raffle.

At the center of the suit…  is a claim that Johnson offered to raffle a Lexus he got as a gift from a Florida dealership. Monahan claims Johnson changed his mind and gave the car to a female friend. Tickets for the show were $17 each, according to the suit, and Monahan purchased $340 worth of tickets hoping to increase his odds on winning…

[Two] additional plaintiffs made an additional claim that they won trips from Johnson they never received. One was for a single person to go to Europe while the second was for the Pro Bowl in Hawaii.

"Boo hoo hoo, I didn't get my Lexus so I'm gonna sue."  Welcome to life, asshole.  Monahan is probably also looking to sue Johnson for another instance during the 2006 season, in which Johnson promised to score two touchdowns for the Bengals but only came through with one.

(Via the FanHaus)