The San Francisco Giants are getting disabled!

“Baseball players getting injured” is a stalwart topic of conversation in the Official Chatroom Of Major League Baseball™ and the defending World Series champions are rewriting the book. To get an insider’s perspective on the series of unfortunate events befalling the Giants I went to Giants fan and California resident Bill Hanstock, the man who helped me out with The Dugout by Charles Bukowski. Bill’s inside information was “oh my god” and “what is happening”, so I asked him to fill in on today’s strip. Dugout Celebrity Guest Writer week continues (roughly bi-monthly for the rest of my life)!

After the jump, check out part one of SFinal Destination. Part 2 will be arriving shortly, and you’d think that’d be the end, but nope, five more sequels.

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It’s been almost six months in Internet time since Buster Posey went down to a debilitating “entire body” injury, and Giants fans want answers. Posey’s agent wants Major League Baseball to enact “Buster’s Rule,” a rule wherein players would no longer be allowed to crash into catchers in exciting home plate collisions. Of course, this rule change would instantly heal Posey’s leg, and he’d be able to get back into the starting lineup within days. Hopefully, this will happen.

Arguments and visual aids have been presented across the blogosphere, and now the only respected voice in sports, The Dugout, must make its statement. What follows is the actual transcript between commissioner Bud Selig and Jeff Berry, Posey’s agent and a man who is lucky I haven’t introduced the Quisenberry Challenge to With Leather yet. If you know a baseball fan and they have an opinion, show them this transcript and set them straight. Today’s Dugout follows.

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Adorable San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey was absolutely ENDED by Scott Cousins during a play at the plate last night, and the news keeps getting worse. Posey has a broken leg and torn ligaments, and it looks like his season is over. Hopefully that’s all that he’ll miss, because hits like this are usually followed by Faces of Death transitional graphics.

If you watch the video it was a clean play at the plate, Posey just got hit so hard he nearly traveled back in time. He missed the ball and turned into it face first. Posey’s agent is using the 13-year old star’s injury as a call to arms against Major League Baseball.

“You leave players way too vulnerable,” Berry said. “I can tell you Major League Baseball is less than it was before [Posey's injury]. It’s stupid. I don’t know if this ends up leading to a rule change, but it should. The guy [at the plate] is too exposed.

“If you go helmet to helmet in the NFL, it’s a $100,000 fine, but in baseball, you have a situation in which runners are [slamming into] fielders. It’s brutal. It’s borderline shocking. It just stinks for baseball. I’m going to call Major League Baseball and put this on the radar. Because it’s just wrong.”

Maybe next year catchers will sit in a dunk tank at home plate, and runners will only be safe if they can slide directly into the target. I know I run the risk of sounding like a “traditionalist” (whatever that is), but I think nonstop rule changes aren’t the problem with baseball. I think “put Buster Posey in a suit of armor, sue everybody, change everything” is a pretty misguided attempt at baseball justice, and that “holy sh** Buster Posey got wrecked, let’s make sure he’s okay again at some point during the rest of his life” is the more constructive approach.

[video @ MLB.com]

From the illegal aliens working in the kitchens of baseball’s biggest stars comes “Diamond Dishes,” a cookbook written by the wife of the monstrous, colored-lenses troll who owns the Florida Marlins. It is also the worst David Bowie album ever. Of course, “writing a cookbook” is like producing a movie, or inking a comic book. You’re just taking a hi res picture of yourself smiling while putting a fork in your mouth and pasting it to the back of a bunch of recipes. I’ve seen the Screech’s Secret Sauce episode of Saved by the Bell, I know how this works.

And man, is there anything worse in the world than when baseball players try to be “human?” Like when they record albums? I know you don’t walk around your house wearing a gigantic plain pastel blue sweater, Travis Hafner, you wear Affliction shirts and Under Armour and this picture of you holding a pie isn’t going to convince me differently.

Today’s Dugout is about cookbooks, and why they are so awesome.

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