My favorite screen grab of the year so far.

For quite some time now, we’ve celebrated the graduation of pole dancing from awesome strip club activity to awesome fitness routine, especially since it inspired such amazing events as the United States Pole Dancing Championship and the World Pole Dancing Championship. Hell, it’s even great for charity. If only we could pair pole dancing with the Miss Bum Bum Brasil Pageant so my head could finally actually explode Scanners style.

But now it seems that other countries are realizing how great pole dancing is as an exercise activity, as well as how just mentioning “pole dancing” will draw automatic attention to any event. In this case, people at the Mayfield Library in Dalkeith, Midlothian, Scotland offered a free pole dancing class this past Saturday to increase interest in books or something.

Whatever, it worked. I just got my Mayfield Library card.

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Reality TV host, global real estate icon and world’s largest source of natural hot air Donald Trump reached a new level of relevance during the 2012 presidential election, as he trolled Twitter ever so hard and goaded millions of people into reacting to his shameless, arrogant and irresponsible opinions about President Barack Obama and the future of America. All the while, as people lashed out at the world’s most famous head of hair, there was a hilarious irony in a man who has declared bankruptcy 5 times proclaiming to know what is wrong with America. But we ain’t here to chatter politics.

Instead, now that the election is over and Trump is through dangerously tossing around the word revolution, Trump chose to get back to pushing random buttons, this time targeting the fine people of Scotland, where he recently built Trump International Golf Links, an ambitious golf course that Trump claims sets a “new standard in course design” while “honoring Scottish tradition”. Also, you have to be wealthy as hell to become a member, so naturally the people who have had the honor of playing this course think it’s the kilt’s tilt.

That let Trump to this recent boast.

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Imagine yourself winning your first grand slam victory. Imagine that it comes after you’ve lost four times in the final of a major and six times in the semis. Now imagine yourself spinning around and catching a glimpse of the crowd. What’s the best thing that could happen here? The best thing in the entire world. What would it be?

If you answered, “Sean Connery pumping his fist”, you are correct.

In addition to his relentless defence, his unyielding will to win and the support of a sympathetic crowd, Andy Murray had one other slight advantage over Novak Djokovic in Monday’s US Open final.

Only Murray had the original James Bond on his side.

Actor Sean Connery watched from courtside, clapping, yelling and even fist-pumping each time his fellow Scotsman won a crucial point. Murray rewarded Connery by eking out a five-set win in nearly five hours, his long-awaited first Grand Slam victory after four previous losses in the final of a Major and six in the semi-finals. (via Tramlines)

The only way it could’ve been better is if the Earth had suddenly split open, and Murray had to choose between saving his U.S. Open trophy or getting out of the stadium alive. Or if cops had rushed in to find Connery, only to have Murray tell them he “vaporized” and been blown out to sea.

Anyway, if that wasn’t the most delightfully Scottish thing you’ve ever heard, check out this conversation between Murray, Murray’s mom and Manchester United coach Sir Alex Ferguson. It is so European, Keira Knightley may drift into the middle of it in a bonnet.

Murray [to his mom]: “You smell of wine”

Judy [nodding at Ferguson]: “He made me have wine. He’s just been telling me that Scotland invented the world.”

Sir Alex replied: “Hands up, I did.”

While you recover from that, here is the legendary fist pump, in both GIF and “recorded with a calculator” forms.

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More like Victoria Don’t-singa, am I right? (via Diehard Sport)

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Links

Here Are 25 Amazing GIFified Album Covers For Your Viewing Pleasure |UPROXX|

REVIEW: Hey! I saw Men in Black 3! It wasn’t that bad! |Film Drunk|

‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: ‘Blackwater’ |Warming Glow|

8 Points To Watch In The Thunder Vs. Spurs Series |Smoking Section|

This Is Glorious: Our Favorite Voice Actors Do A Comical Table Read Of Star Wars |Gamma Squad|

UFC 146: Dos Santos Vs. Mir Live Blog And Open Discussion Thread |With Leather|

Not Surprisingly, Bill Murray Gives The Best Autographs Ever |UPROXX|

Hear The National’s Tyrion-Approved Song From The ‘Game of Thrones’ Soundtrack |UPROXX|

Lupe Fiasco’s Not Too Happy With Pete Rock Right Now |Smoking Section|

Glenn Danzig says he would’ve played Wolverine “Less Gay” than Hugh Jackman |Film Drunk|

Bob Saget Named ‘Princess For The Day’ At Chicago White Sox Game |With Leather|

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And now for something completely different.

When you’re a mixed-martial arts fighter, “having a heart attack after a dead cow fell on you in a slaughterhouse” can’t be high on your list of expected ways to die, but here we are. By way of an hilariously-insensitive report from Mirror UK comes the story of the tragic death of Scottish amateur MMA fighter Ally McCrae, a wrestler, Thai boxer and blue belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu who happened to work in an abattoir.

Ally McCrae, 23, was trapped when the carcass fell off a hook and he suffered head injuries which triggered a heart attack.

The super-fit amateur cage fighter was rushed to hospital but surgeons were unable to save his life.

His trainer John Nicolson said yesterday: “Ally was such a joker and when I heard the bizarre circumstances, I thought he might be playing a joke.”

And can you blame him? That doesn’t really sound like news the human brain is ready to accept. Also, I love how Mirror UK notes that he was “super-fit”, as if his chiseled abdominals were going to protect him from the freefall a 600-pound cow.

You can find out more about the story at Mirror, or you can check out this hilariously-insensitive report from Fightlinker that forgets this guy was a human being and breaks down the cow-to-body collision like a fight. I know this is a terrible situation, but the better part of my heart tells me that if I died being flattened by a projectile slaughterhouse cow I’d want the people who found out to have a laugh. Because seriously, holy sh*t.

[h/t Vince at FilmDrunk]

I imagine that at this point on a Friday afternoon, like me, you’re all holed up in an Atlanta hotel with the Georgia Tech football team, rifling through a wedding goody bag, and watching the Madrid Open. But in case you’re not that cool, you may have missed one golfer win what I and lonely Wisconsin women are calling the greatest prize in the history of anything.

Scotland’s Elliot Saltman not only sunk a hole-in-one, but for doing so he won a lifetime supply of ham. He better butter that bacon.

Saltman made the shot from the par-3 third hole at El Encin Golf Hotel. Heavily cured and salted ham is a Spanish delicacy.

“I’ve been trying to lose weight, but now I’m thinking I should have just kept it,” Saltman said.

Despite the feat, the No. 686-ranked player is well off the leaders’ pace. After two rounds, he was 3 over and 14 shots behind clubhouse leader Lee Slattery of England.

(Via Philly Burbs)

Yeah, well you know what? Slattery can suck it. Because at the end of the day, while Slattery will be closer to winning a large cash prize, trophy, and the respect of his peers, he won’t have a LIFETIME SUPPLY OF HAM. The only thing that could make this greater would be if Saltman ate it while riding around on a poop-powered motorcycle. I think it’s clear that I have a very specific dream for my life.