I don’t know, that shot to the twisty lighthouse looks fake. (Via The Sun)

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Links

The Best And Worst Of WWE WrestleMania XXVIII Live |With Leather|

‘Justified’ Q&A With Writers Jon Worley And VJ Boyd |Warming Glow|

Google Would Like To Introduce You To Project Glass, The Eyewear Of The Future |UPROXX|

A Jiggly Scarlett Johansson Highlighted In The First Clip From The Avengers |Gamma Squad|

A Brief History of Nic Cage Being Crazy |Film Drunk|

An Open Letter To Donald Glover… |Smoking Section|

‘I’m Here To Talk To You About The Avenger Initiative’: The Definitive Response GIF Collection |UPROXX|

Meme Watch: Dr. Grover Will See You Now |UPROXX|

The Miseducation Of Nicki Minaj |Smoking Section|

Ryan Gosling is saving chicks from traffic now |Film Drunk|

Bar Refaeli Makes Tennis And Life Awesome |With Leather|

This Sulu Photo Needs More Captions |Gamma Squad|

15 Banned Cartoons You’ll Never See on TV |Warming Glow|

Read the rest of this entry »

I read through a lot of gossip sites and strange, random fan blogs each week, not because I want to actually know anything about the personal lives of fame-starved reality trolls, but because we like to make fun of really stupid stuff that people do. Thankfully, I didn’t have to go much further than NFL.com for this week’s most asinine celebrity idea, and of course it involves our favorite Man of Every Hour, Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow.

There’s no doubt that Tebow’s stock is higher than ever after the Broncos’ win over the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday – even the mayor of Pittsburgh is Tebowing – and he has already been dealing with rumors that he may have been responsible for skier Lindsey Vonn’s recent divorce. So apparently that was enough for NFL.com to ask: “Hey, what if Tebow knocked up a bunch of married women? What would those little hell-bound, soulless bastards look like?”

And thanks to the site MorphThings.com, the fine folks at NFL.com got their answers. Their incredibly weird-looking, borderline creepy answers.

Read the rest of this entry »

The best game ever. I hope you’re just a high-def remake of San Andreas, GTA 5.

Links

Grand Theft Auto 5 Trailer Announced - AY CESAR, THE YAY LEAVIN’ SAN FIERRO, RIGHT. Right, but they’re using bikes, CJ, and they go cross country! [Gamma Squad]

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 10/24 Live From Austin, Texas - I know I know, it’s the post below this one, but our new commenting system has severely limited the number of times an anonymous person can comment with “john cena gay”, so we need you to head down there and read it and talk to us about it. Us meaning me. [With Leather]

The Best And Worst Of WWE Vengeance 2011 - But wait! Before you do that, read Monday’s report about Sunday night’s show. The ring collapsed and Jerry Lawler said he’d never seen anything like it, except when it happened previously. [With Leather]

Bring ACH To Beyond Wrestling - If you live on the East Coast, love pro wrestling (or want it to be better than it is) and have a few extra bucks, donate to the cause of bringing one of the best young wrestlers in the world to where you can see him perform. ACH is the f**king bomb, and should be a TV millionaire already. [Indie Gogo]

This Week in Posters: Twilight, Muppets, and Diagonals Oh My! - Puss In Boots would be so much more appealing if it was called LE CHAT POTTE over here. That’s also what I call my drug-humor AOL parody. [Film Drunk]

The 1992 Dream Team In Action (Figures) - Pretty sure the most heterosexual thing about me is how much I love the 1992 Dream Team. [Smoking Section]

First Look At Scarlett Johansson As An Alien - I was really excited when I clicked this, but it turns out the “alien” is just “Scarlett Johansson not looking as good as she usually does because of bad clothes and a worse wig”. Good job with your alien movie, guys. [Gamma Squad]

More Halloween Episodes, Please - The genre peaked with ‘Roseanne’ and ‘Martin’, but I’m willing to accept new works in the medium. [Warming Glow]

Fully Functional Nikon Camera Halloween Costume - Pretty cool, and guaranteed to be talked about almost as much as the one hot girl who just wore underwear outdoors and didn’t even buy cat ears. [Buzzfeed

The 18 Worst Wide-Release Opening Weekends of 2011 - Most of these aren't a surprise, and if you supported Judy Moody or her Not Bummer Summer you're a bad person. The climax of that movie is someone eating a poop sandwich. [Moviefone]

Which of These Five Hollywood Subjects Sold Out the Hardest? - I always thought that if someone can refer to you as a “Hollywood subject”, you’re already sold out. [Pajiba]

87 Year-Old Man Arrested with 228 Pounds of Cocaine - Now let’s flash back to when he was a young man and find out how he got here! [The Daily What]

Censored Zelda Will Make You Laugh Against Your Will - The title is right. I hate fake censoring jokes, but even I laughed when Zelda called that guy a f**k. [Unreality]

The Gentlemen’s Rant: Hipsters - Someone put this site out of its misery. If you like Tim Allen on TV in 2011 style “everyone who isn’t fat and boring and middle-American like me is wrong” humor, you’ll love this. Attention “average guys tellin’ it like it is” — you are the least funny people in the world. [NextRound]

Links

UPROXX Presents: The Best Of 5-Second Films, Part 2 - For the other five people in the world who think “Father and Son” is hilarious. Some of these look legitimately better than any movie released in theaters since like, March. [UPROXX]

25 Ray Guns, Blasters and Phasers Inspired by the Sci-Fi of Yesteryear - Zzzzzap. Zzzzzzap. [Gamma Squad]

The Best Costumes, Celebrities, and Pointless Merchandise from New York Comic Con - Hopefully Matt will let me do a Wizard World Austin version of this. Also, I hope I can save up enough money between now and November to pay for one entrance ticket to Wizard World Austin. [Warming Glow]

Google Will Kill Google Buzz, Google Music Store Reportedly Launching - Google should buy AOL, sell it to Yahoo, then buy Yahoo and sell it to Alta Vista. Then buy Webcrawler and Ask Jeeves and merge them into AssCrawler. [Smoking Section]

Fincher Says ScarJo’s Boobs Were Too Big For Dragon Tattoo, Basically - Beside, they already filmed her version of this, it’s called The Perfect Score and it’s awesome. [Film Drunk]

Trent Richardson Now Owns Senquez Golson’s Ankles - Just … ridiculously sick. Ridiculously sick. [Smoking Section]

Hot Chicks of Occupy Wall Street - No, Internet. Bad Internet, bad. [Buzzfeed]

‘The Three Musketeers 3D’ Was a Joke on ‘The Simpsons’ Twelve Years Ago - Not really. Moviefone is stretching here, but the clip is funny, and the Zorro rap song is one of my most solid in-theater references. [Moviefone]

Venture Bros.’ 9 Most Musical Moments - ATTN: Venture Bros. guys, Re: you are not Trey Parker, please stop making music for no reason and animated your funny television show. [Adult Swim]

The 10 Most Profitable 80′s Remakes - Future #1: My gritty, cyber-noir remake of Amazing Grace And Chuck. [Pajiba]

Obsessed Apple Fan Gets Steve Jobs Haircut - Average Person, if you’re reading this, your planned-for-Halloween zombie Steve Jobs costume is not a funny or clever idea. [Brobible]

A Steampunk Disney Princess Fashion Show - How did this start, honestly? Who was the first nerd to say “Doctor Who is cool, but he’d be cooler if his scarf had pipes”? [Unreality]

Good morning, faithful With Leatherites. I trust we all had a delightful weekend. I didn’t. I went 0-3 in fantasy while watching my college team lose to FIU and my Miami Dolphins continue their quest to Suck for Luck (more on that later). Brandon is still on vacation in the Sudan, where he’s arming rebels with the most dangerous weapon – knowledge. But don’t worry, he has entrusted a special guest with the duty of covering your wrasslin’ action, so expect that. Meanwhile, here be some links.

Disney Ladies + Texts From Last Night = Win |UPROXX|

The Twilight Breaking Dawn Trailer, with Captions |Film Drunk|

Mike Tyson Weighed In On Sarah Palin’s Sex |With Leather|

The Ridiculously Fun Star Wars Art of Franco Brambillo |Gamma Squad|

‘Community’ as a Sexual Thriller |Warming Glow|

Slim The Mobster – “F*ck You” |Smoking Section|

The Internet Responds To Scarlett Johansson’s Nude Photos With Typical
Class And Grace |UPROXX|

Meme Watch: Sheltered College Freshman |UPROXX|

Stop Everything: Jedi Kittens Strike Back |Gamma Squad|

Denver Men Pull Off Real Life ‘Weekend At Bernie’s’ |Film Drunk|

A Star Is Born. |Warming Glow|

Don’t Hate Ronaldo Because He’s Beautiful |With Leather|

And Now, The Saddest 10 Minutes Of Wrestling You’ll Ever See |Smoking Section|

14 Cupcakes Disguised as Other Food |Buzzfeed|

Nicolas Cage Hasn’t Aged a Day in Over 150 Years |FARK|

Grading the ‘Star Wars’ Blu-ray Deleted Scenes|Moviefone|

Nina Dobrev Won The Emmys |AOL
TV|

Fall TV Report Card: Grading the Ads |EW|

Read the rest of this entry »

Why I’m Happy: The Cleveland Indians are going to compete! The Tribe added Kosuke Fukudome (yeah 3 home runs YEAH .260 BATTING AVERAGE) and sorta-ace Ubaldo Jimenez to bolster the line-up and push them back ahead of the Tigers before it’s too late. Sure, we had to give up our entire farm system and our prized Pomeranian (and we got that farm system by trading away all of our good players a few years ago), but hey, it’s now or never. It’s Tribe Time Now Or Never!

Why I’m Unhappy: Friday was our July edition of Free Fantasy Baseball With DraftStreet, and as per usual I dropped about 20 spots to finish 91st out of over 200. I’m in the upper half, but still, I think the Indians get worse every time we do these. Friday they lost 12-0 to the stinking Royals, and the guy who won had Billy Butler and Alex Gordon on his team. Welp! Thanks again to everyone who played, and here are the readers who won money.

On to the links~!

Sports

We’re All A Little Jealous Of Philadelphia Sports Teams Right Now - I mean, I’M not, but I could see why YOU would be. Tomorrow they’re going to announce that the Philadelphia Flyers have invented time travel and come back through the wormhole with teenage Wayne Gretzky and some sort of weird future cyborg Gordie Howe. Why did the Phillies need to add All-Stars? They’re an American League team playing in the National League already. [Smoking Section]

#Podcast: The Patrick Willis Interview - Be sure not to miss Punte’s podcast interview with Willis, where he asks him what it’s like to play in the NFL and then suddenly quits. In all seriousness, I feel like I keep having to say goodbye to Josh and that sucks, because I shouldn’t have to once. Good luck in your future endeavors, Punter, you’ll be missed. [KSK]

Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Hendrson Live Results and Commentary - I should start doing The Best and Worst of MMA Pay-Per-Views. Best: Fedor getting trounced in the first round and saying the ass-beating was God’s Will. Worst: Literally everything else. [Cage Potato]

Lily Anderson - She counts as sports! Our last post on Friday was about her performance of the Star-Spangled Banner at an Atlanta Braves game, and after struggling all day to have something worthwhile to say they were nice enough to link back to me on her Facebook fan page. So go “like” it, because it’s probably the one thing you can like on Facebook that makes you a better person. [Facebook]

With Leather

The 2011 U.S. Air Guitar Championship - I can’t think of anything weirder or lamer than this and I’ve been watching pro wrestling for like 30 years. It’s like a bunch of guys got together and decided to act like The Darkness, but didn’t want to get paid. [With Leather]

The Montreal Expos Are Dead, Long Live The Montreal Expos - Montreal wants baseball again and I’m all for it, as I want baseball and stadiums and mascots all over the damn place. Also worth reading is Nick Dallamora’s The Mouse That Never Roared, written way back when the Expos spirited away to Washington. [With Leather]

Carmelo Anthony Holding A Panda Bear? Carmelo Anthony Holding A Panda Bear - I’m getting a hang of these UPROXX titles. [With Leather]

Jay Cutler Faked It - … or so says Kristin Cavallari. Linking this here because it’s been online long enough for weird girls who are oddly defensive of Laguna Beach to find it and start leaving comments like ONLY THEY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WHY DON’T YOU GET A LIFE AND A REAL JOB AND STOP WRITING even though I just copy-pasted most of this from a gossip website. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Scarlett Johansson Declines Marine’s Invitation To Ball - which makes sense, because she’s declined my invitation to ball about a thousand times. Unpopular Opinion: Marines need to stop guilt-tripping celebrities into doing things. [Film Drunk]

Avengers Cosplay - More women should dress like Mockingbird. I’m a little disappointed that this gallery isn’t full of hot girls dressing like Ultron, but that might be a fever fantasy I’ll never live to see. [Gamma Squad]

Spoiler Alert: Parks & Rec Has Cast Tammy 1 - The only way I’m okay with this casting news is if they explain how Ron and Tammy met with “We found each other. We found each other in the dark”. They should’ve been like “Community” and stunt-casted the sh** out of this. Let Oprah or some lesser form of Wendy Williams be Tammy 1. [Warming Glow]

Internet Explorer Users Dumb, Says Science - What’s next, a study revealing that people still using their @AOL.com e-mail addresses in 2011 are functionally illiterate? Yeah, we know all this. Science used to be for important things. When I was growing up they were all SCIENCE CREATES SPACE SHUTTLES AND UNLOCKS THE MYSTERIES OF LIFE. Now science is just a more boring version of Encyclopedia Dramatica. [UPROXX]