Quick follow-up to our Greg Oden post from yesterday: the Blazers big man came out and apologized for the pictures that made the rounds on the internet. The long and the short of it is that Oden took the phots about a year-and-a-half ago for some woman; he found about his big moment via 6 AM phone call yesterday. There’s a morning wood joke in there someplace but I’m already running behind today. There’s video of the presser on Deadspin (I like calling them pressers; sue me), but really, his face really doesn’t deviate from this expression throughout the whole two minutes. I guess he’s a man of few words. Many inches, but few words.

I spent the better part of my morning trolling the Series of Tubes trying to find a picture of a black man’s penis and I’m exhausted. How does your mother do it every night? But seriously, Greg Oden’s dick has suddenly become the perfect analogy for life as a sports blogger: I don’t really want to post it, but everyone else is, so I feel like I kind of have to. It’s like Oden’s cock is some nuclear peacekeeping missile defense system, and we’re all in a rush to get our own, uh, piece.

But anyway, if you want to Greg Oden in all his nude glory, for whatever reason, you can find an embeddable slideshow here. And not to sound gay or anything, but the missile analogy hits pretty close to home. And if you do head over there, we’ll have something back here to wash your brain out here very soon.