Eli Manning’s Comedy Debut Is Upon Us

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.02.12

As we’ve previously discussed by candlelight, two-time Super Bowl MVP and Champion Eli Manning is hosting Saturday Night Live this week with musical guest and beacon of humility Rihanna. As is routine, NBC released a series of promos this week featuring Eli, who is following in the footsteps of his big brother Peyton once again with this hosting gig.

After all, anything that two brothers do will always be compared. Isn’t that right, Ed? Big movie star, that guy. “The pride of the Burns family,” our parents say via Skype on holidays. Because “acting is a real job, not like sitting around in your underwear, talking about 19-year old models.” Right? WELL I’M SORRY, MOM AND DAD! I’M SORRY I DIDN’T WRITE THE BROTHERS MCMULLEN!

Anywho, check out Eli’s SNL promos after the jump.

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Live From New York! It’s Herp A Derp Derp!

Written by Ashley Burns / 04.16.12

If you had a chance to catch Saturday Night Live this weekend, then I’m sure you noticed the Jay Z parody sketch that would have been funny 3 years ago same cutting edge humor that New York’s finest always deliver. Tucked away in the first hour of this week’s show was the host card for the next episode on May 5, and the honor of awkwardly attempting to deliver Gilly sketch lines from a cue card is New York Giants quarterback and Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning. It’s like a gift from the gods of unintentional comedy.

Back in February, we mentioned that Green Bay Packers QB and guy I’d like to be best friends with Aaron Rodgers was in consideration for hosting duties, but apparently the Discount Double Check is just too fresh in our minds to parody right now. Instead, the SNL writing team can work with seasoned material like Manning’s proud daddy or how he helped win Super Bowl XLII.

Eli will, of course, be held to the standard set by his big brother Peyton Manning, who delivered undoubtedly the best hosting performance by an athlete in the show’s history. And that praise only comes for one reason – the United Way sketch.

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The Clippers Are Basically The Harlem Globetrotters (And Morning Links)

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.09.12

They should just start throwing buckets of confetti at the Kings.

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Links

Harlem_GlobetrottersThree Reasons Rap Is Always Better When Kanye West Is Around |Smoking Section|

The Dugout Opening Days ’12: Pittsburgh Pirates |With Leather|

Boob and Voice Jokes A-Plenty In ‘SNL’ with Sofía Vergara |Warming Glow|

Colbert Captures ‘Bada$s’ Biker Popping Wheelies In Lincoln Tunnel On His iPhone |UPROXX|

30 Geeky Easter Eggs Too Good To Hide |Gamma Squad|

SUPERCUT: Famous Actors in Their First Roles |Film Drunk|

‘My Little Damon’ Is The Weirdest Celebrity Meets ‘My Little Pony’ Sub-Reddit You’ll See Today |UPROXX|

Snoop Dogg’s New Song Book Is Literally Smokable |UPROXX|

Drake Drops A Deuce: “Take Care” Video Feat. Rihanna x “HYFR” Video Feat. Lil Wayne |Smoking Section|

Frotcast 94: Justin Halpern, American Reunion, Manswers Roulette |Film Drunk|

They Call Him ‘The Wall’ |With Leather|

5 Series The Eisners Should Have Considered For “Best New Series” |Gamma Squad|

Is This the Dumbest Argument Against ‘Community’ You’ve Ever Read? |Warming Glow|

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Why Hello, Kate Upton’s DirecTV Commercial (And Morning Links)

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.02.12

(via BroBible)

I’ll be spending Monday sitting at an airport/sitting on an airplane back to Austin, so please be exponentially less bored than me by perusing the morning links and/or watching this commercial on loop for the next 20 hours.

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Links

Kate Upton DirecTV commercialThe Official WWE Wrestlemania 28 Weekend Predictions/Open Discussion Thread |With Leather|

Poll: The Eternal Deschanel Debate Continues: Zooey and Emily? |Warming Glow|

9 Reasons Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo’s “Batman” is the Best Bat-book in Decades |Gamma Squad|

The Cats Of Memes Greatly Improve Famous Movie Scenes |UPROXX|

Your full plot breakdown of Step Up 4 based solely on the trailer |Film Drunk|

Birdman Talks The Handrub, Cash Money’s 100 Album Goal |Smoking Section|

These Student Election Posters Will Make You Wish You Were In High School Again |UPROXX|

Meme Watch: Bad Luck Brian Destroyed All Known Copies Of This Photo |UPROXX|

Did Diggy Simmons Just Diss J. Cole On “What You Say To Me”? |Smoking Section|

The new Superman logo is, surprise, *DARKER* and *EDGIER* |Film Drunk|

Presenting ‘Magic Johnson: The Gathering’ |With Leather|

Hey Game of Thrones Fans — There’s Also a Game of Thrones RPG Coming Out. Here’s a Trailer |Gamma Squad|

James Van Der Beek: ‘Who Doesn’t Love BJs?” |Warming Glow|

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Hitler Hates Jeremy Lin, Because Hitler Hates Everything (And Morning Links)

Written by Brandon Stroud / 02.17.12

What people think Hitler thinks about Jeremy Lin. What Nazis think Hitler thinks about Jeremy Lin. What he actually thinks! (via OTB)

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Links

Meme Watch: ‘What People Think I Do Versus What I Really Do’ Reminds Us That All Jobs Kinda Suck - What Jeremy Lin thinks I do. What Kate Upton thinks I do. What I actually do! All just black squares. [UPROXX]

Chris Brown Has A New Pickup Line Sure To Make All The Ladies Melt - I bet George Jones is really happy he didn’t beat his girlfriend when the Internet around. [UPROXX]

wario-has-a-posse7 Potential First-Time Hosts that Could Enliven the Stagnant ‘Saturday Night Live’ - I think they could benefit from letting lesser known, high quality writer/comedians host the show instead of someone with a movie coming out, that way a little effort would happen. [Warming Glow]

Channing Tatum Wants Fans To Pick His Movies - Okay. A Tree Of Life reboot, three consecutive movies where he’s an army guy “just tryin’ to get home to his wife and daughter”, then permanent retirement. [Film Drunk]

Our 20 Favorite Pieces From Gallery 1988′s Video Games Art Show - I would pay hard-earned cash money to have that Excitebike piece hanging in my house. [Gamma Squad]

NBA Announces All-Star 2012 Dunk Contest Participants - The most revolutionary change to the dunk contest needs to be “you get one chance to dunk this, so try not to f**k it up”. [Smoking Section]

Hall of Fame Oddsmakers 2012: “Macho Man” Randy Savage - Tom Holzerman and I debate whether or not the Macho Man will get into WWE’s Hall Of Fame. Like everything WWE related, who the hell knows? [The Wrestling Blog]

13 Things About Your Childhood You Never Realized That Will Blow Your Mind - I don’t want to live in a world where people don’t know Shredder and Uncle Phil are the same person. [Buzzfeed]

This Dog Looks A Lot Like A Penis - your entire website looks like a penis [HuffPost Comedy]

This the World’s Most Expensive Starbucks Drink? - I was with this guy until he busted out a Chuck Norris joke. Regardless, as a blogger, sixteen espresso shots sounds normal and awesome. [The FW]

Which Cast Aged The Best? My Money’s On Those Kids From Bayside - Well it certainly wasn’t the cast of ‘Seaquest DSV’, I’ll give them that. [Pajiba]

History of Nintendo’s Controllers GIF - Is it weird that I wish Nintendo was still making Gamecube games? I want another Double Dash game using the same engine with like 400 more tracks :( [Unreality]

Tommy Chong Says Whitney Houston Should Have Stuck to Ganja - Tommy Chong should’ve stuck to not talking about Whitney Houston. [Brobible]

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Please Don’t Mess This Up, Saturday Night Live

Written by Ashley Burns / 02.09.12

Fran Tarkenton. Joe Montana. Peyton Manning. Tom Brady. Three of these quarterbacks have won Super Bowls, but they’re all considered elite. Much much less importantly, they are also the only NFL quarterbacks to ever host Saturday Night Live. Now, though, they may open the doors to one more, as Aaron Rodgers is rumored to be under heavy consideration.

Rodgers apparently met some of the current cast members during the week of festivities for Super Bowl XLVI in Indianapolis, and it doesn’t take a genius to realize true charisma, whether it’s offering valuable pre-game analysis or waking up next to Miss March. Rodgers has got it, I tells ya.

Rodgers has mentioned that possibility several times on his ESPN 540 radio show in Milwaukee, and Tuesday he said he met a couple cast members last weekend in Indianapolis, where he worked as part of NBC’s pregame show. “I’m hopeful that we can figure something out there,” Rodgers said. (Via ESPN)

Of course, charisma means nothing if it’s not used properly, so that of course puts pressure on the show’s writers. And anyone who has seen the show as of late knows that they’re not exactly channeling Tolstoy.

Also, those QBs I mentioned before may be legends, but they all also sucked on SNL. In fact, the lone bright moment is still Manning’s United Way commercial.

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