Saturday Night Live featured a New Balance commercial (starring Zach Galifianakis) that should totally play to the blogger crowd, because it’s about how nobody who wears New Balance running shoes actually runs, and how they’re the worst of the aging white guys. Man, you nerds … I wear NIKE shoes when I’m just standing around. (via Hulu)

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Links

The Unused Opening Title Credits For ‘Iron Man 3′ Are Incredible |UPROXX|

Ron Swanson’s 15 Most Enlightening GIFs From ‘Parks And Recreation’ Season 5 |Warming Glow|

Meet The Guy Who Built His Home To Look Like The Star Trek U.S.S. Enterprise |Film Drunk|

Reminder: Baseball Has Flopping, Too |With Leather|

The Bionic Dog With Four Prosthetic Legs Returns To Hit Us In All The Feels |Gamma Squad|

Brooklyn Finally Renames A Park In Adam “MCA” Yauch’s Honor |Smoking Section|

It’s Feeding Time At The Cutler House |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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In perhaps the most shocking development of the Rutgers men’s basketball scandal, which featured now-former head coach Mike Rice physically and verbally abusing players, Saturday Night Live produced a sketch about it within a week of it taking place. Normally, we would have expected to see this sort of sketch in two months or so, after every joke had already been made and the world had been outraged by at least 15 other incidents since then. But credit is due to SNL for jumping all over this one.

That said, the sketch in question featured Melissa “Rex Reed’s Hot Desire” McCarthy as a women’s basketball coach named Sheila Kelly who is apparently 10 times worse than Rice. A brief perusal of the Twitterverse and Tumblrsphere leads me to believe that people thought this was a funny sketch, and I’ll admit that I laughed at McCarthy staring down Jay Pharaoh through the window.

Other than that, I didn’t think it was anything remarkable, but that may also be due to the fact that my blood is still boiling over the fact that both Rice and ousted athletic director Tim Pernetti will receive $1 million from the school, per their contracts. Seriously, if I’d known that I could get $1 million for screaming “F*ggot” at a bunch of teenagers, I would have never stopped being a substitute teacher.

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“Let’s go, black giant!”

Warming Glow’s SNL recap included a clip of Jay Pharoah and Bobby Moynihan doing Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong-un (respectively, in the most unnecessary use of “respectively” ever) on Weekend Update. All they said was that they missed the weird, 90s Rodman that wore spaceship sunglasses and stuck his tongue into things. Hopefully they’ll have a similar reaction 10 years from now when somebody’s doing a Bobby Moynihan impression, so they can say, “I miss this Bobby Moynihan” and share a GIF of him pantslessly eating from a honey pot.

I’m way happier with Jay Pharoah playing all the black athletes than Kenan Thompson doing it, because at least he puts some effort into it, whether we need a 100% accurate impression or not. It’s a hell of a lot better than Kenan playing everybody with his Pierre Escargot voice. “I AM DENNIS RODMAN, THE WORM” and then he just looks at the camera.

Anyway, here’s the clip, if you missed it:

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There are two things you should click without reading on With Leather: posts about Kate Upton, and instances of Jay Pharoah doing his Stephen A. Smith impression on Saturday Night Live. In a better world, real-life Stephen A. Smith would retire and let Pharoah ghost him. (via NBC.com)

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Links

The Best Of Joel McHale’s UPROXX Live Discussion |UPROXX|

‘SNL’ Recap: Christoph Waltz And Alabama Shakes |Warming Glow|

Harrison Ford Gonna Rock That Han Solo Joint Again |Film Drunk|

Don’t Smoke Pot Under The Bleachers At A Wrestling Tournament |With Leather|

A Brief History Of Surprisingly Good Video Games Based On Junk Food |Gamma Squad|

2013 NBA Slam Dunk Contest: A Lot Of Missed Opportunities |Smoking Section|

KSK Mock Draft: Pizza Toppings |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Warming Glow usually handles weekly recaps of Saturday Night Live right after it airs. As a site that updates Monday through Friday we don’t always get that timely Sunday morning bump, but SNL covered the Super Bowl Blackout and I’ll be damned if I don’t dedicate a post to Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe impression.

Here’s what the folks at WG (where I one day hope to lord over everyone with my ‘Arthur’ jokes and terrible pro wrestling recaps) had to say about the cold open:

Nice of the SNL makeup department to make Tim Robinson look like Bill Cowher’s thawed-out corpse. Anyway, the cold open started slowly before delivering some solid lines in the final two minutes. JB (the black JB, not the wannabe-black JB) admitting he’s never actually seen 2 Broke Girls was a nice touch, and making Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe reveal, “Ray Lewis knows who killed those people, because it was him!” was what was missing from last episode’s Weekend Update Ray-Ray appearance. Not a great opener, but not bad, either.

If you missed it, video is below. I guess they couldn’t find a realistic Dan Marino wig.

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In a better world, Saturday Night Live sketches about football players would suddenly become super popular, and 80 minutes of every show would just be Kenan Thompson changing jerseys and doing the same voice to represent every black football player. Ah well, at least it wasn’t Fred Armisen in blackface again.

No Saturday Night Live Ray Lewis thing will ever top this.

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- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
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Links

Interview: Talking To Fred Armisen About ‘Portlandia,’ ‘SNL,’ And Meeting Prince |Warming Glow|

The Best Images & GIFs Reacting To J.J. Abrams Directing ‘Star Wars’ |UPROXX|

This Week in Posters & Stills: A German Shepard in a Mask |Film Drunk|

Behold, The Lineup For Puppy Bowl IX! |With Leather|

UPROXX’s Ultimate Guide To Comics For Beginners, Part One |Gamma Squad|

Getting To Know Baauer By His 10 Best Remixes |Smoking Section|

A Company Is Selling Temporary Kaepernick Tattoos |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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