Nothing like a good hunting story to propel me through the rest of my day: a Minnesota man killed three deer with a single shot on the last day of the hunting season. And no, the single shot wasn't a 500-pound bomb from an F/A-18 air strike, but an 8mm Mauser.

"By George, we got done with her, and there was another one," Olsen said. "I thought, 'Wow, two deer with one shot.'" The next morning… he went back to where he had found the doe and the yearling. "We retraced our steps, and my gosh, there's a drop of blood," he said. Olsen found the third deer – the second yearling – not far away. All three deer had fallen within 50 yards of each other, Olsen said. The bullet had passed completely through the first two deer and a piece of it had lodged in the third deer.

I'm sorry, but I can't believe this. You're telling there's some kind of — what? Magic bullet? And it just miraculously passed through all three deer? Bullshit. There was a second shooter, my friends.

Unfortunately, we'll never know the whole truth, because this Olsen fellow was gored to death by a deer with mob ties. Or it might have been a CIA deer. I'm not sure.

Proving once again that the Second Amendment is all about the visually impaired, a Texas state representative named Edmund Kuempel has introduced a bill that would allow blind people to hunt.

Yes, with a gun. Seriously.

"This opens up the fun of hunting to additional people, and I think that's great," Kuempel said.

Oh yeah. It's definitely great. Blind people with guns: what could possibl-eye go wrong? It's an excellent measure to control our rampant Texan overpopulation problem.

When reached for comment, Florida and Ohio were all like, "Damn, why didn't we think of that?"

Naturally, Deadspin alerted me to this, but I owe it to the world to show this to everyone I know, and we all owe it to ourselves to laugh at another's pain.

This woman is Lia Mara Lourenco at a Brazilian national athletics competition of some sort in Sao Paolo. I've always thought that Brazil was really cool, but i didn't realize that spear-hunting women was a sport there. Fucking AWESOME.

I'm getting my net and club and flying down there immediately. Are there free-range women? Have they been effectively trained and equipped to evade nature's greatest hunter? Ah, who cares? Release the hounds!

Some people think Friday afternoons are great times to be looking ahead to a long weekend of college and NFL football, but not me. This is when I get all of my best hunting news. ESPN Outdoors tells us:

In this golden age of modern elk hunting, conventional wisdom from wapiti hunting experts dictates that to kill a 400-inch world-class bull, several things need to happen.

First, you need to draw a virtual once-in-a-lifetime tag from one of the megabull units of Arizona, Utah or Nevada.

Second, you need to leave the elk bugle at home, and maybe even the cow call, too, instead slipping quickly and quietly into bow range to down one of these whopper wapiti.

And, finally, to do that, an archer needs to tote a high-tech compound bow and be proficient arrowing out to 50 yards or so, since short shots on megabulls are about as rare as a July snow.

Megabull? Wapiti? Arrowing? This kind of sounds like science fiction. I'm not exactly sure what all of this means, but apparently the guy in the picture killed a really big deer or caribou or moose or something. I get my even-toed unguents all mixed up. But it looks much too large to be a pronghorn, I know that much. Anyway, the dude dropped that 900-pound unguent with a carbon arrow from ten yards away.

I think the point of this story is that if you're part of Nature, don't bring that weak-ass shit in our house. You hear me, Nature? Click-Clack! NOT IN OUR HOUSE!