On Friday, we discussed the valiant ambitions of J.P. Bolwahnn, the 34-year old running back for the University of San Diego Toreros who has also served in the military for the past 13 years. A Navy SEAL and member of the Special Operations Forces, Bolwahnn openly shared his goal of scoring a touchdown on Saturday against Western New Mexico, so he could stand in the end zone and salute his fallen friends and fellow soldiers. Hold on, I need to check something… yep, still got goosebumps.

Well, San Diego defeated the Mustangs 30-10, and on the closing drive, the Toreros put the rock in Bolwahnn’s hands. How did that turn out, L.A. Times?

Leading 30-10 with 3 minutes 8 seconds left in their home opener, the Toreros took over at Western New Mexico’s 35-yard line and tried to help Bolwahnn fulfill his pledge. Bolwahnn carried the ball on six consecutive plays, gaining a first down, before the clock ran out with San Diego on the 20.

Bolwahnn finished with 15 yards rushing.

I’m not one to ever tell a player not to play, as every player should give his best efforts on a football field. But down 20, with just over 3 minutes remaining, maybe let up a little, Mustangs? I know that sounds stupid and contradictory, but Western New Mexico isn’t exactly on the cusp of becoming a BCS buster. Nor have I ever seen one Mustangs highlight on SportsCenter. So why wouldn’t both teams want to be a part of something so special and meaningful? I’m not saying that the Mustangs should all fall to the ground or open a free hole like their names were Kardashian. I just think they should ease off the pedal a little.

After all, the Iowa Hawkeyes deprived us of a dog leading their team onto the field and they just lost to Iowa State. And in case you’re wondering, I like to imagine that Hawkeye the Dog running onto a field would look a little like this…

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Upon first glance, seeing that the University of San Diego currently has a 34-year old running back would be cause for laughter. However, since that 34-year old is a member of the Special Operations Force in the United States military, you can stuff your laughter in a sack and like it, mister. J.P. Bolwahnn (No. 28 above) is excited to be playing football again after a 13-year military career. And while it may sound a little arrogant that he already has his first end zone celebration planned, you better believe it’s a good one.

He’s going to salute the American flag to honor his fallen friends and fellow soldiers on the eve of 9/11. Take that, Chad Ochocinco.

The gesture will be for Petty Officer Danny Dietz, killed six years ago in a firefight with Taliban guerrillas. It will be for Lt. Cmdr. Jonas Kelsall and Chief Petty Officer Robert James Reeves, who died last month when their helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan. And it will be for all the other Navy SEALs still fighting abroad.

“I remember their names, I remember seeing their faces,” Bolwahnn said of Kelsall and Reeves, whom he trained during a four-year stint as a SEALs instructor. He was even closer to Dietz, shepherding the fresh-faced recruit through his early days in Bolwahnn’s unit. (Via The Los Angeles Times)

Bolwahnn’s teammates also talk about what an incredible badass he is in practice, bringing his drill instructor intimidation to the field. 34 or not, I bet this guy can be a monster on the field. But it should go without saying that San Diego’s lone priority should be getting him in the end zone.

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Because fewer and fewer men are spending their fall weekends sitting in the woods wearing camouflage and drinking beer (I blame fantasy football), the sport of hunting has targeted — see what I did there? — women to grow the sport’s numbers.  From the Wall Street Journal:

As the number of male hunters has declined, the sport has targeted women with everything from pink guns to gender-specific hunting courses. Now, they’re seeking out spokesmodels and pushing weapons tailored for women, such as lighter crossbows..

Apparel makers such as SHE Safari and Foxy Huntress LLC are marketing camouflage expressly to women. “The Foxy Huntress knows she’s dressed to kill in more ways than one,” says that three-year-old company’s Web site…

Web sites such as WomenHunters.com offer support and advice. On that site’s bulletin board, contributors with names like Susie Sure Shot, bowfishinlady and sheslayer exchange tips.

First of all, do NOT waste your time at WomenHunters.com.  I went there expecting tips on hunting women, and it left a lot to be desired.  Why can’t I get a little support here?  I’ve been targeting women for years, and the Wall Street Journal hasn’t written dick about me.  I can’t even get a license.  Apparently hunting women is only legal in Ohio and Texas.

As print magazines die a slow death and blogs like this one lessen the impact of long-form sports journalism (sorry about that, Pat Jordan), Sports Illustrated keeps trying to re-package itself as a "brand" with an "online presence" and other corporate buzzwords.

What they need to do is just highlight all the stuff they used to write about.  -Women: Should They Be Allowed on Golf Courses?  -Are Negros the Future of Basketball? And of course the beauty pictured here, -Holy Fuck!  Fucking Bears!  Kill Them!  Killlllll Themmmmm!

#13 seed University of San Diego Toreros just upset #4 UConn 70-69 in the West Region. Upsets are cool and all, but, since I had the Huskies in the Elite Eight, I think I'll just watch this video until the games resume. -KD 

You would think a story about bear spray and a bar would end happily:

KODIAK, Alaska – A man faces assault charges after allegedly spraying bar patrons twice with bear spray. Kodiak police charged Daniel Pement after the incidents Saturday and Sunday at the B&B Bar. Police said Pement was escorted from the bar on Saturday, but returned 15 minutes later and allegedly sprayed customers. Police talked to him later and took the bear spray, but were called away on a more urgent matter.

The more urgent matter was a fresh batch at The Donut Hole. Ha, ha, cops like donuts. Anyway, to be fair to Mr. Pement, some of the patrons at the B&B Bar probably looked like bears. Especially after a few cocktails. If he really wanted to make a statement, he should have sprayed the other drinkers with bear urine. Then, as he sipped his morning beer the next day, he could grin while reading about the rash of bear-on-man rapes. It can be a nice experience however, I met my she-bear ex-wife in this manner. -KD