It has been a little more than four months since that insane Deadspin article blew open one of the most absurd hoaxes in sports, at least in this Internet era, as it revealed that Lennay Kekua, the reported dead girlfriend of Notre Dame star Manti Te’o, was the fabrication of a man named Ronaiah Tuiasosopo. Sure, we all had a ton of additional questions and would have loved to have a little more insight into how a grown man fell for such a trick, but Te’o and Tuiasosopo sort of told their stories and were content to leave us believing that Te’o is just a big, dumb schmuck.

Of course, between that January article and today, plenty of other things happened in sports and we’ve turned our attention elsewhere, because we thought that we’d beaten this joke into oblivion. That suggests, however, that sports fans are all on the same wavelength, and obviously Te’o jokes were going to be made during and after the NFL Draft. But today? Talk about timely.

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Oh, sorry. I hope you have a better afternoon, Norv Turner! (via Diehard Sport)

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Links

25 Reasons Why Jennifer Lawrence Thinking She’s ‘Obese’ Is Ridiculous |UPROXX|

‘SNL’ Recap: Anne Hathaway And Rihanna |Warming Glow|

Lincoln Review: Spielberg’s best movie in years, but is it any good? |Film Drunk|

Meet Don Martini, The Totally Sane, Awesome Retiree Who Built His Own Giants Stadium |With Leather|

5 Reasons Bond Should Go Sci-fi Again |Gamma Squad|

Conan O’Brien Considers A Wes Anderson-Directed “Star Wars: Episode VII” |Smoking Section|

And I Dub Thee Unforgotten |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Yesterday, in perhaps his most prolific artistic contribution to society, our forefather Matt Ufford introduced us to Philip Rivers with a mustache, and it might be the only thing on this planet that makes King Laserface even remotely endearing at this point. Seriously, I just dropped his ass in a fantasy league for a bye week tight end. I’ve been starting Carson Palmer over him, and I’m winning because of it, that’s how little Rivers is worth right now.

Yet here we are, Thursday Night Football only a few hours away and this is the juicy cow pie that the NFL is offering us – the San Diego Chargers vs. the Kansas City Chiefs. This is like the exact opposite of a Monday Night Football game. Hell, this is lower than Tuesday night MACtion.

Philip Rivers. Matt Cassel. It’s Thursday Night Football in America.

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Phil Mickelson had a chance to raise a million dollars for children and failed to do so because he is a terrible person and should never be allowed to golf again.

Okay, it’s not that severe, but here’s the set-up Phil was facing when he stepped onto the field during halftime during last night’s Denver Broncos/San Diego Charges Monday Night Football game:

Few players are more comfortable with a wedge in their hands than Phil Mickelson. But the question on Monday night will be whether he can do it when it’s someone else’s money on the line.

Mickelson will attempt a wedge shot during halftime of tonight’s matchup between the Denver Broncos and the San Diego Chargers. (Mickelson is a San Diego native and a longtime Chargers fan.) Lefty will go endzone-to-endzone, taking aim at a bull’s-eye-style target in order to win up to $1,000,000 in books for First Book, a local non-profit, according to the shot’s sponsor, KPMG. (via GOLF.com)

As you can see in the video below, Phil shanked it (I don’t know what “shank” means), and kids will only receive a $50,000 donation, the lowest donation offered for the shot. Those poor children. Phil, if you were better at golf, children would be able to live.

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Blogging icon and the Internet’s most famous St. Louis Cardinals fan Will Leitch recently penned a piece for Sports on Earth about the realization that some of us Best Fans in Baseball are dealing with – people f*cking hate the Cardinals. I didn’t notice it so much after the Cards won the World Series last year, as people just sort of nodded at their win and moved right along.

Now, though, as they’ve once again knocked off the team with the best record in baseball and are up 1-0 on the San Francisco Giants in the NLCS, people are really starting to show their hatred. Especially on Twitter. Who knew that people could be so mean on the Internet?

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Watching Detroit Lions quarterback Matt Stafford poop the bed against the St. Louis Rams yesterday was rather bothersome for me, as I spent a quarter of my auction league cash on his three-pick-throwing ass a week ago. But then I remembered the above commercial for Monday Night Football and the irony tickled me enough to make me forget that he almost cost me my suicide pick, too. Seriously, just too much stress in one afternoon.

Speaking of football and quarterbacks that cause migraines, Philip Rivers and the Chargers headline an evening that features two fierce NFL rivalries. And if you’re a communist or tree-hugger and you don’t like watching the NFL, I’ve found some alternative programming for you as well.

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