Pre-show notes:

- Be a pal! If you read and enjoy the column, be sure to click the “like” button, share it with your friends on Twitter and drop me a comment below. I’m like [ ] this close to doing Best And Worst Of Impact reports, so if you want to see those, nudge me in the right direction.

- I was at this show live, so this week’s report will be a little different. More on that inside. All of the pictures contained inside (and that one of Ziggler’s LIVE ASS ROLL) were taken by me, so if you want to use them or share them somewhere else, go for it, just don’t be a dick about it. Toss me a link somewhere.

- We’re organizing our first With Leather/Best And Worst Of WWE Raw Column Appreciators Club live meet-up! If you’re going to be anywhere in the area of Easton, PA in September, consider stopping by CHIKARA’s King Of Trios to watch Meng wrestle Ebessan and hang out with me, Destiny, THESTINGER, prestigious wrestling blogger Tom Holzerman and the rest of the crew at a still technically unapproved UPROXX network event. RSVP on that page and be our friend. I’ll make you a sandwich.

- Casey made a few GIFs for the report but I dug the live DIY approach as I was writing it, so I didn’t use any. A big thanks goes out to him anyway, because he’s awesome and works too hard for the amount of credit I give him.

Please click through to enjoy

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It looks like I’m going to have to turn “Texas football guys dying” into a daily feature. Yesterday, we shared the story of Prestonwood Christian School assistant football coach Wade McLain, who collapsed and died when he stood outside all day in one of the state’s 40-plus days of 100-degree-plus weather. Today’s story takes place amidst air conditioning but is no less brutal — the storied college sports rivalry between the University of Oklahoma and the University of Texas at Austin evolved from aggressive car decals to full-on knife fighting at a San Antonio Applebee’s. Applebee’s©, where stacking food on top of different foods constitutes a new menu item!

The report and video, courtesy of Alamo Graphics News:

An argument over college football escalated into a knife fight at a San Antonio Applebee’s that sent two men to the hospital.

Police said officers were called to a northwest Applebee’s restaurant just before midnight on Monday in regards to a fight that started as an argument between an Oklahoma Sooners fan and Texas Longhorns fan. The argument escalated, and the Oklahoma fan pulled a knife and attacked the Texas fan.

Both were taken to University Hospital, where the Texas fan was last reported in stable condition; the other man in critical condition.

State pride legislation permits me to point how how the Oklahoma fan is the one who pulled the knife and attacked, but is the one in critical condition. Oklahoma, ladies and gentlemen, the Poland of the central United States. I hope by “pulled a knife” they mean he picked up the steak knife he was using at the Applebee’s and tried to stab a guy. I wonder if he got Garlic Mash in his wounds.

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