And no, it wasn’t to Taco Bell for their newest menu item, the Pitaphile, which is now on sale for 99 cents (but if you’re 12 or younger, it’s free). NFL draft bust Ryan Leaf was finally caught at the US-Canada border near Washington. Leaf was indicted on nine felony counts by a Texas grand jury in May, stemming from breaking into a college football players house and stealing his painkiller medication. From Y! Sports:
James Farren, the district attorney in Randall County in West Texas, said Leaf was arrested Wednesday by federal customs agents. Legal assistant Jennifer Bonstein said Leaf declined to waive extradition during a hearing Wednesday afternoon in Bellingham, Wash., about 90 miles north of Seattle.
Bill Kelly, Leaf’s attorney in Texas, said his client was returning to Texas to turn himself in by a Thursday deadline.
“I assume when he was crossing the border, they picked him up,” Kelly said.
Actually, that headline should probably indicate that Leaf was picked up on his return to the United States from Canada. Apparently all you need to get into Canada is a disappointing resume’. I have no idea why they call it the Great White North. I mean, have you ever seen a shark in Canada?
Ryan Leaf the citizen is becoming eerily reminiscent of Ryan Leaf the quarterback. After being “placed on leave” as a D-II assistant as the former NFL draft bust was indicted by a county grand jury in Texas for nine counts of drugs, burglary, and fake drugs. No, seriously. From WTOP:
Canyon police Lt. Dale Davis said Leaf is suspected of breaking into a Canyon apartment on Oct. 30 and stealing Hydrocodone, which had been prescribed to an injured football player.[...]
The count of delivery of a simulated controlled substance alleges Leaf gave an individual a substance he said was Hydrocodone but was not that drug.
Serious question: how does Leaf’s legacy stack up against Michael Vick’s? It probably depends on your personal preference for mental imbalance. At least Vick could put up numbers and capture the imagination of fans while he was on the field, whereas Leaf was an utter failure from the start. Does the following formula apply:
So much for starting The Next Chapter In Life. But then if these guys always got it right, I’d be out of a job.
Ryan Leaf, one of the most spectacular NFL busts of all time, valiantly made his way back into football as the quarterbacks coach at West Texas A&M. Only that’s gone into the shitter now, too, as he’s been placed on administrative leave.
Athletics director Michael McBroom said Wednesday that he met with Leaf on Sunday to “go through some options, and we agreed that a leave is the best option.” He said he could not comment on what prompted the decision and said he would not speculate on when or whether Leaf would return.
An ESPN story cites a source that claims Leaf asked a player for a painkiller, although I don’t see why that would be a big deal unless the painkiller in question is brown tar heroin. I’ll be honest, the only reason I’m writing this post is to include the smaller picture of Leaf here on the right that Vince from FilmDrunksent me. It’s like he’s doing a bad impression of Mickey Rooney’s bad impression of Asian people. “Miss Gorightry!”
In a related racially insensitive name-butchering, “Lion Reef” sounds like a pretty cool place to visit. Who wouldn’t enjoy a scuba safari?
As originally reported in-depth by Football Outsiders' Mike Tanier, and echoed by MDS at the Fanhouse, indie actor/director Tim Carr is making a film called Leaf: An Almost True Story about colossal draft bust Ryan Leaf, the most hated thing in San Diego since that one cloudy day a few years back. Here's the trailer:
Strangely, Leaf hasn't denounced the project — he even left open the posibility of a cameo when Carr contacted him.
“I was bracing to get cursed out,” admits Carr, who stressed to Leaf that while the movie would show all his foibles, it wouldn’t be a hatchet job.
In other words, Leaf will be portrayed as an incompetent asshole, but he'll be portrayed as an incompetent asshole fairly.
