MLB - Yup. Five whole games scheduled last night, giving us a taste of the looming expanse of lame that midseason baseball offers to an expectant sporting nation over the summer. Ryan Howard is finally getting his act together, albeit still not yet hitting his weight, he has put together two multi-homer games in four days, leading the Phillies to an 8-2 win over the Red Sox. Cole Hamels improved to 7-4 by allowing two runs over seven innings. Afterwards, he said he expects to see the Red Sox again in the World Series, where undoubtedly the false hopes of Philly sports fans will be crushed underfoot yet again… Chipper Jones, opting not to poke out his eye again, got two hits to improve his average by a point to .403 in a 7-1 Braves win over the Rockies…The Mariners, no longer weighed down by inept general manager Bill Bavasi, were unburdened enough to drop their 8th straight at home.

College World Series – The top-seeded Hurricanes oust Florida State and Georgia's bullpen shuts down Stanford. Whew. Feigning interest sure takes a lot out of a fellow. 

EURO 2008 – Germany pulls another Anchluss on Austria with a 1-0 victory to advance to the quarterfinals. Meanwhile, the team that won Germany's group, Croatia, knocked off Poland 1-0 to have its first unbeaten performance in group competition.

Philadelphia Phillies fans, already prone to violent outburst likes the rest of their Philly brethren, were supplied with the perfect storm of motivation yesterday at a Reading Phillies game. The promotional giveaway: snow globes featuring the slumptastic slugger Ryan Howard in a Santa outfit.

The pelting reflex in Philly fans is already known to be triggered by Santa sightings. Coupled with their frustration with Howard, currently batting a robust .165, or about a hundred points under his weight, will probably lead to a higher glass shard content than usual in the Citizens Bank Park outfield. Current ratio: A billion glass parts per billion parts of outfield.

Of course, it's bound to go over at least somewhat better than the planned Kobe Bryant nine-volt battery night at a 76ers game next season.

The Phillies and Ryan Howard could not agree on a one-year or multi-year deal, so the Phils renewed his contract for $900,000:

It's believed the Phillies offered Howard a one-year proposal that would have guaranteed him slightly more than the renewal amount, plus incentives that could have increased the value substantially if Howard had a year anything like last year (.304, 58 homers, 149 RBIs, one All-Star appearance and that MVP Award).

Okay, let's assume that Ryan Howard is not taking steroids or HGH (I know that's a big leap in today's MLB), and he will have near the production this season as he had last year.  If this happens, he will rightly be compared Aaron, Dimaggio, Williams, and . . . what's that other dude's name, oh yeah, Babe Fucking Ruth.  Howard's average may not compare as favorably with past great sluggers as his power numbers do, but only the Latin, right-handed Stan Musial will garner the same attention in today's game.

That point is likely to arrive a year from now, when Howard is eligible for arbitration, and the Phillies can use Pujols' long-term contract (seven years, $100 million, after his third season) as a guidepost. For now, though, the Phillies will have to answer questions about why they took the stance they did on a player [Phillies assistant GM Ruben] Amaro repeatedly described as "special."

Amaro is right (we assistants have to stick together), Howard is "special", and if Philly doesn't want him to go to the Bronx, I imagine Howard will soon be sporting the Liberty Bell on a 24kt. gold rope, wiping his ass with the first draft of the Declaration of Independence, and holding up cheese-steak lines all over the city by ordering any way he wants.  My fifth-grade memories of Philadelphia are now exhausted.  -KD