After a few weeks of writing about shows me and three other people in the world like (Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, Boy Meets World, et al.), we decided to dedicate a Sports On TV column to a show the entire UPROXX network loves — ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,’ FX’s delightfully cruel comedy that has its own page of recaps and commenter badges on the UPROXX mothership.

The show’s use of Philadelphia is at least as comprehensive as ‘The Wire’s’ use of Baltimore, and all of the important Philly area teams and icons have made an appearance on the show … the Eagles, the Flyers, the Phillies, the Phillie Phanatic. ‘It’s Always Sunny’ also launched the worldwide popularity of GREEN MAN, who you may know as “that a-hole in the morphsuit at any sporting event.” It’s an important thing they’re doing, so we’re here to talk about it.

Things we have to apologize for in advance: crude language, situations meant for mature audiences and getting the “Flipadelphia” song stuck in your head again.

Read the rest of this entry »

You know those annoying Facebook macros going around with a picture of the Angry Beavers on it or whatever, with a big caption reading “ONLY 90S KIDS WOULD REMEMBER THIS CLICK LIKE” across the top? The Philadelphia Phillies made an entire night out of that.

Wednesday’s 3-2 loss to Brandon Bronson Arroyo was ’90s Retro Night at Citizens Bank Park, and as the mascot-loving guy behind the Sports On TV column I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t share the clip of the Phillie Phanatic dancing with the Spice (Ball) Girls or the hilariously thrown-together photoshops depicting Charlie Manuel as Wilson from ‘Home Improvement’, or whatever. It’s the kind of night that makes being at the ballpark fun, except for all the losing.

Most of the pictures come with a hat-tip to my good friend Mr. Joey Odorisio, and the ones that don’t are credited where applicable. What are you waiting for? Check them out. There’s a really creepy shot of Chase Utley as Dylan from ‘Beverly Hills 90210′ waiting somewhere on the other side of this jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

When Ryan Howard first injured his Achilles at the end of Game 5 of last year’s NLDS, the Philadelphia Phillies hoped that his surgery and recovery would land him back in the lineup sometime around May. Unfortunately, the injury turned out to be worse than expected and Howard also suffered an infection, so the Phils actually have no clue when he’s going to be ready to start running again. (He has been fielding ground balls, so that’s good.)

But this is the first year of Howard’s 5-year extension that he signed last year – worth $125 million – so obviously there’s a little concern about Howard’s Achilles and the fact that he’s 32-years old. Howard’s not worried, though, because only a man with complete confidence in not only his ability to heal and perform at an elite level again but also his financial decision-making would purchase a $23 million mansion in Belleair Beach, Florida.

Howard paid $3.5 million for the lot in February 2011, and construction will get underway this month on the 17,500 square-foot mansion, estimated to cost $23 million.

The home, which will be built on land that occupies over an acre of Gulf-front property, will include a “Venice-style lazy river running from the swimming pool underneath a series of bridges” and a bowling alley with breakaway walls.

Taxes for the lot cost $33,684 in 2011, according to Zillow. So, not surprisingly, the town is eager to make an exception for what figures to be an an over three-year construction project…

(Via Crossing Broad)

Indeed, Howard’s new beach mansion will take three years to build, which violates every regulation in his new hometown, but city planners and leaders tend to be a bit more forgiving to guys who will make 1/8th of a billion dollars through 2017. Let’s hope he has a little more luck with his mansion than some other guys. Or at least JaMarcus Russell.

I’m not a big fan of the term “almost racist,” but this Ryan Howard promotional garden gnome seems worthy of such a contrived, quixotic phrase. Something is either racist or it isn’t. Annette John-Hall, an Inquirer columnist who happens to be an African-American woman, respectfully disagrees.

This is all starting to veer dangerously close to lawn-ornament territory, and we all know that history.

We do? Sorry, I’m not much of a gardener. Read the rest of this entry »

After this raid of the house of a prominent blogger and this new Arizona immigration law, I really thought that American virtue was dying. And then last night I saw that the Phillies backed up the Brinks truck to Ryan Howard’s doorstep. And all seemed right with the world, at least for a little while.

There’s a lot of room to argue about this 5-year, $125 million extension of his current deal, which makes the Phillies infielder the second-highest paid player in baseball. Does Howard bring that much relative value to his team? Did the Phillies overspend on his power at the plate (25 homers, 141 RBI in 2009)? Who cares…I’m just happy that someone out there can still beat the system, still get an absurd amount of money for working hard at honing his craft. That just feels right to me.

I hear moaning about the absence of a salary cap in baseball all the time, as if it would magically tear asunder the Yankee empire and force the Marlins to spend more on player payroll than they do on their electric bill. Lost in these cries for “fairness” among teams is the concept of fairness toward the players. Ryan Howard is the best baseball player that hasn’t banged Madonna. He should be paid accordingly.

Let’s face it, a lot of these player-made “viral” videos aren’t viral at all. They suck. But thank Benjamin Franklin for Philadelphia Phillies’ Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard, who finally bucked the trend with “Baseball Fantasy Camp with Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins.” It’s really well done with genuinely funny moments. It’s not all, “Hi, I’m a douchebag endorsing Starter and all this other stupid made-up crap.” Does this qualify as a second consecutive baseball post? Let’s hope not.via.