Sure, the big baseball news right now is all about how Milwaukee Brewers slugger and 2011 National League MVP Ryan Braun beat the system and had his 50-game suspension overturned yesterday. Everyone was all like, “Hooray, bro! He did it! He proved that MLB players can use banned substances and not get in trouble because the FedEx guy will forget to deliver the urine on time, thus rendering the findings obsolete because of the MLB’s drug-testing policies!” Or something like that. I honestly stopped paying attention to this story the moment it was announced that a Brewers player was suspended, because my natural response was, “LOL, Bud Selig won’t suspend Brewers.”

But my silly, sarcastic conspiracy theories aside, I’m happy that Braun isn’t suspended, because he seems like a good guy. The only way he could seem any cooler would be if he had a sweet mustache like my main man Lance Berkman up there. Berkman showed up to St. Louis Cardinals – the reigning World Series champions – facilities in Jupiter, Florida sporting a new and quite porn-o-rific flavor savor. St. Louis Post-Dispatch reporter Derrick Goold Tweeted that he looks like Sgt. Slaughter, but I think he’s working towards something a little more manly.

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Man, time sure does fly. It seems like just yesterday I was praising Drew Brees. Actually, it was just yesterday, but I was referring to when I named Brees and the New Orleans Saints winning Super Bowl XLIV the top Sports Moment of 2010. And you know what? That was a boring, predictable pick and it left nothing to the imagination of you, our beloved readers. You deserve more than just the run-of-the-mill year end list, because With Leatherites are smarter than the average sports blog reader, and I know that because I was called an idiot by you guys plenty this year.

You also have a better sense of humor than the average sports blog reader, so when I was entering the qualifications for this year’s Best Sports Moments into my sophisticated super computer (read: old yellow notepad) I wanted to kick the sentimental crap to the curb and really focus on what makes us all tick – namely, poop jokes and hot models. But mostly fun sports moments. As always, I don’t expect everyone to agree, and I’m sure that I left out a few moments here and there (sorry hockey). So feel free to school us on your biggest moments of the year, and let’s all hope that 2012 is a little more sex scandal free…

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Good news for fans of the Milwaukee Brewers and their whole “we’re a small market team playin’ so hard!” thing — baseball prospectus TMZ Sportz is reporting that slugger Ryan Braun’s positive test for banned substances wasn’t caused by steroids, it was caused by “medication he’s taking for a private medical issue”.

We’re told the reigning National League MVP is adamant he has not taken drugs or steroids of any kind.

One source simply told us … “The medication contained banned substances resulting in the positive test.” We’re also told prior to taking the dirty test, Braun had always tested negative for banned substances.

The nature of Braun’s medical ailment is unclear.

You’ve got to love TMZ’s helpful editorial addition of, “before he tested positive for steroids, he tested negative for steroids”. Thanks, guys. Before O.J. Simpson murdered those people he had never been a murder suspect.

There are a lot of other things to consider while wading through TMZ’s knee-deep bullshit as well, like why the doctor who prescribed the medicine to a pro baseball player wouldn’t know or consider that the steroids medicine he’s prescribing wouldn’t cause someone to test positive for steroids, or why if he did know it he wouldn’t have written Braun an exemption. Furthermore, Major League Baseball’s collevtive bargaining agreement (the same one that says you can have exemptions for situations like this) doesn’t allow you to go back and get exemptions for tests you’ve already failed.

I hope the follow-up to this story is that Braun’s private medical issue was “not hitting enough home runs”.

It's Tribe Time Now (in 1989)

After missing two consecutive Mondays due to an extended hospital stay, I’ve returned to cover the only thing more boring than potassium pills and intestinal blockage: Major League Baseball! Things happen over the weekend, and I’m here to bundle up the important stories and sort of pool the one-to-zero comments we’d get per baseball article into one mega gallery with six-to-zero comments.

The Indians are Still in First Place

They’ve lost three straight and had a game postponed, but we’re 21 games into the season and the Cleveland Indians are still sitting atop the AL Central. I refuse to believe this is an April streak anomaly, and will continue to explain how this is simply the coming-together of young, blossoming talent and healed up veterans looking to recapture the spotlight. It’s about guts, people, and I’m positive the 141 or so more games in the season will prove me right. Who cares if our most marketable star is named “Jeanmar?” Who cares if Fausto Carmona finishes the season 1-22? The Indians are winning the World Series, and I don’t care if me and manager Lou Brown are the only ones who believe it.

The Tribe heads back home on Tuesday to start a three game series against Upstart Nobody Flukes the Kansas City Royals. Monster ace and carnival showman Jeanmar Gomez gets his next start on Saturday against something called the “Detroit Tigers.”

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I didn’t like the idea of the Palin-Huizenga hybrid staying on top of the page all night, so here’s the semi-anticipated Marisa Miller/Ryan Braun ad for Remington.  You may remember the post in August when we were first introduced to photos of the shoot.  Or more likely not.  So here it is, the video you’ve barely been thinking about!

Because it’s a web ad, or maybe because Remington cut costs by firing all editors, or maybe because they hired a group of seventh graders to write, the commercial features some of the worst acting this side of NSFW and runs for an astounding two and a half minutes.  Which is what I really need as a consumer: longer advertisements.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d cut my penis off if it that’s what it took for Marisa Miller to touch it, but I’m still not gonna say this video is great just because it gives me close-ups of things of body parts that I’ve already got memorized down to the individual pore.

Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun may be having an MVP-caliber season, but all those home runs or whatever are pretty boring compared to his day shooting a commercial with Marisa Miller.  It's for an online ad for Remington, and did I mention it has Marisa Miller?  Here's a little taste of the snappy dialog you can expect when it airs:

“Aren’t you baseball all-star Ryan Braun?” Miller said to Braun as cameras rolled and a large crowd of technicians, actors, aides, associates, gofers, spectators and hangers-on stood by quietly from a safe distance.

“Aren’t you supermodel Marisa Miller?” Braun answered smartly as he stood next to a fence holding the leash on his dog.

Lucky guy.  Lucky that he was holding the leash to his dog, that is.  Having your hands full with other objects is pretty much the only way a dude can talk to Marisa without masturbating. Wouldn't stop me from trying, though.  I just hope I don't meet her while I'm shopping for cheese graters.

(Photos: Michael Sears)