My condolences this morning to the #2-ranked South Florida Bulls, who faltered against Rutgers last night, falling 30-27 in New Jersey.  The Scarlet Knights turned around a heretofore disappointing season behind the running efforts of Ray Rice and a fake field goal that resulted in a touchdown, while the Bulls will most likely suffer a calamitous fall in the rankings compared to the slight stumbles that LSU and Cal took last week.

Even though I'm sad to see that this year's national champion won't be an 11-year-old upstart program from a second-tier conference, I can at least see two silver linings to this cloud: (1) The messier and more fucked-up the BCS situation gets, the higher the probability is that we'll eventually get a playoff system, and (2) if Ohio State continues their undefeated season, we get to watch them get their ass kicked by an SEC team in the national championship game for the second year in a row.

Yup, that's right: another unnecessary shot at Ohio State.  What are you gonna do about it, Buckeye fans?  Ooh, I fear your witty barbs!  Good luck typing your angry responses with those sausage fingers.

This screen capture of this weekend's Navy-Rutgers game comes from the splendid TV Tan Line (via The Wizard of Odds).

Frankly, I was going to make fun of the highlighted gentleman for being a creepy cheerleader-stalking weirdo, but then I realized: creepy cheerleader-stalking weirdos are pretty much my entire target demographic.  So instead, I've decided to make fun of his goatee.  Hey everybody!  Check out that guy's prison pussy!

But seriously, readers: your creepy cheerleader-stalking efforts are no good if you keep them all to yourself.  Share the wealth.  Because if I don't get fresh creepy cheerleader pictures on a regular basis, do you know what happens?  The gay videos start taking over.  And no one wants that.  Well, except the gays.  But they don't buy ad space.

The college football season kicked off last night, and four ranked teams eked out victories over surprisingly tough underdogs.

• #2 LSU 45, Mississippi State 0 — MSU quarterback Michael Henig threw a costly interception that may have been the turning point in the game, because then he went on to throw five more.  He did, however, complete 11 passes to his own teammates, so that was nice.

• #10 Louisville 73, Murray State 10 — The Cardinals notched 10 touchdowns, yet Brian Brohm threw only four of them, obviously dampening the Heisman buzz.  He didn't even throw 400 yards.  Louisville scored TDs on its first eight drives and finished with 655 yards of total offense.  It's a W, for sure, but the Cards have got to be disappointed.

• #16 Rutgers 38, Buffalo 3 — Buffalo has a college now?  Aw, that's sweet.  Ray Rice ran for 184 yards and 3 scores.

• #24 Boise State 56, Weber State 7 — Last year's undefeated national champions continued where they left off, squeaking past a heavy favorite using trick plays.  Cheerleader husband Ian Johnson ran for 124 yards and three TDs.

I don't think I've ever met someone who listens to Don Imus (note: former Marine), but here's the old weirdo reflecting on the NCAA Women's basketball championship, which apparently happened sometime recently.  For the record, according to Imus: Rutgers team — tattooed, nappy-headed, ho-ish qualities; Tennessee players — cute.  So I guess it's good that the cute team won.

The clip ends with Billy Packer's "fag out" comments on Charlie Rose, which may or may not be a big deal depending on when you were born or how gay you are.

Clip via Loser with Socks.  And yes, it's a video-heavy day here because I'm traveling again. 

Wow, what a lineup for bowl games last night. For whatever reason, #16 Rutgers (10-2) was paired up with unranked and shitty K-State in the Unsponsored Texas Bowl, and the results were predictable: 37-10, Rutgers. That's how they roll in Jersey, yo.

In the Pacific Life Holiday Bowl, #20 Cal stomped the shit out of #21 Texas A&M 45-10, putting to rest that nationwide debate about which team is really the twentieth-best in the country. Also proven: Bears still dangerous. Not proven, but true nonetheless: Aggie fans are universally irritating.

Who would have thought that the only good game last night would be between two teams who have no business in a "bowl game"? Oklahoma State eked out a last-minute 34-31 win over Alabama in a battle of teams trying not to finish under .500. It was the NFC First-Round Playoffs Independence Bowl, I believe.

Riveting. Only another, what, ten days? until we can finally start arguing about how Rose Bowl winner Michigan needs to play a game against BCS winner Florida to determine a TRUE national champion. I can't wait. 

In celebration of the Marine Corps birthday, all posts today will have a decided military flavor.

No. 3 Louisville fell to the mighty Scarlet Scarlett Knights of Rutgers last night, choking away a 25-7 lead and going scoreless in the second half to lose 28-25.

Perhaps if the Cardinals had the slightest bit of intestinal fortitude, they would have done a little bit more than produce five three-and-outs in six second half possessions. I know John Bobo wouldn't have given up the way Louisville did.

You've never heard of Second Lieutenant John Bobo? Umm, hello? Quang Tri Province? 1967? Anyone? Sheesh. Fine, read from his Medal of Honor citation:

When an exploding enemy mortar round severed Lieutenant Bobo's right leg below the knee, he refused to be evacuated and insisted upon being placed in a firing position to cover the movement of the command group to  a better location.  With a web belt around his leg serving as tourniquet and with his leg jammed into the dirt to curtail the bleeding, he remained in this position and delivered devastating fire into the ranks of the enemy attempting to overrun the Marines. Lieutenant Bobo was mortally wounded while firing his weapon into the mainpoint of the enemy attack but… his tenacious stand enabled the command group to gain a protective position where it repulsed the enemy onslaught.

In conclusion, everyone that played football last night is a pussy.