Normally, Tosh.0 posts on With Leather involve web redemptions for the Phillies tazer kid or the “boom goes the dynamite” guy. Best case scenario, Manny Pacquiao has just punched him in the face and you need to know about it.

This week’s requisite Tosh post spotlights the $150,000 Tosh.0 Marathon, wherein thousands of people gathered to run on treadmills on Hermosa Beach in California to see how far they could get before a Kenyan runner finished first. As if that weren’t enough, the marathon featured magicians, stairmasters, improv sketch comedy and a bunch of horrible racism that is okay because he’s kidding. You can check out the video below, but be aware of all the cursing and slow motion lady-running before you click play.

The best part is even Tosh being unable to mock the affable Kenyan guy at the end. I did the math, and if I’d participated in this with my sharp 17-minute mile, I would’ve logged about 7/10th of one before giving up and having fun on the beach.

[via Tosh.0]

Sometimes a gif says it all. Faustio Carmona had to run to first base during the Indians’ 3-1 win over the Reds on Saturday, and … well, have you seen the gif of the two dogs having sex? The one where they’re going at it, and the one dog gets so into it that he pukes on the dog he’s humping? That’s what happened during Fausto’s first ever attempt at running as a human adult. Click the image below to watch the full sized gif (courtesy of Mocksession) in action, as I guarantee it will be the most poignant, second-hand embarrassment you’ll experience all afternoon.

Oh. Oh no. I think the worst part is that his helmet falls off before he goes down. Fausto strained his right quadriceps muscle and will miss his next start, but all of that pales in comparison to the full-on personal crisis of looking like that in front of people.

“I didn’t watch [the replay],” he said Sunday morning, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “I didn’t want to see it.”

Compare and contrast:

The Washington Redskins conditioning test was designed for one player on its roster, and that player would be $100 million defensive lineman Albert Haynesworth. Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan admitted as much yesterday after his prize pig failed the two-part test (which allegedly involved sprints of 300 yards) and was subsequently held out of team drills.

“The bottom line is that we’re going to get him in shape,” Shanahan said of the requirement that Haynesworth reportedly complete two 300-yard shuttle runs. “If he’s going to be on our football team and he’s going to play at the level we’d like him to play, then he’s got to be in great football shape. Hopefully he’ll get it done tomorrow, but it may take two or three days, it may take a week. I really don’t know. His weight is fine. We’ve just got to get that cardio at a certain level to make sure he doesn’t injure himself.” –PFT.

That said, the insider perspective is that Shanahan just wanted to bust Haynesworth’s balls for missing mini-camp and show him who was in charge. Haynesworth is already behind in terms of learning his new defense, and while it’s great that he came to camp significantly slimmer than last season, he still has to please the boss. It’s like when you come home late after drinking and your girlfriend force feeds you eggs in the morning until you throw up in her hallway. Except different.