By now, you should have already read what I assume will be the world’s foremost guide on choosing which fantasy quarterback is right for you. Now that we have that out of the way, we can move on to the position that really matters – the running back. In this era of overexposure and mushy brains, almost every NFL team uses some sort of running back system that has made the elite RB as rare as a virgin quarterback.

Most people who arrogantly call themselves “fantasy experts” believe that it is important to draft one of the elite RBs before any other player, and this is the one instance in which I agree with them. But remember, I write these things to offer my honest gut instinct as a guide for beginners and people who rip themselves to shreds with indecision. My humble opinion is that a top RB is worth more to you than any other player on a draft list. However, if you have gigantic testicles, don’t let me stop you from going elsewhere.

But if you agree with me that the elite RB is a dying breed, then let’s examine which guys are worth a damn and which guys will break your heart.

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"You're mad? I have his fumbles on my fantasy team!"

For millions of years or as long as men have gathered in groups to draft fantasy football teams, the running back has been the dominant selection. If you don’t share the philosophy then you’re at least familiar with the strategy of taking two running backs first to create a solid scoring foundation. The top overall draft picks are almost always elite RBs, and you most likely spend the majority of the football season sending out terrible trade offers with the hopes of acquiring another RB.

Essentially, RBs have almost always ruled the world. Too bad the jerkface coaches of the NFL are doing their best to destroy that philosophy, what with the ever-increasing trend of committees and scenarios. But does that mean that you can’t use a little strategy to make sure that you acquire an elite RB on draft day? Yes, actually, it does mean that. Unless you have a top 5 pick this year (depending on how your league rewards and favors QBs) you’re probably not going to get top tier production from your backfield.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t at least have solid productivity while creating harmonious scoring across your roster. You just have to clear your mind, forget your fan allegiances, and for once in your life stop telling yourself that THIS is the season that Joseph Addai becomes a monster. Again, I will remind you that I am not professing to be a fantasy football expert, like the many people at the big boy sites who don’t know their asses from a hole opened by the Green Bay Packers offensive line. But I do have some opinions that could help you, and chances are they’re at least better than your moron friends who spend $10 on magazines each year.

Today’s topic is the running back, as we fight to protect the endangered species that is the featured back. And yes, I’m using more attractive females to make my arguments.