If anyone ever complained that we don’t feature enough rugby stories here, I would explain that it’s because we don’t get rugby and therefore don’t like writing about it. In fairness, though, it is cooler than soccer and we write about that on occasion, so it’s only fair that we find a little rugby news here and there.

Well news be damned, because we instead have an instructional video, which is helping me understand rugby in an entirely new light. Like the kind of light that makes it difficult to stand up for the next 20 minutes or so. Seriously, all sports need more instructional videos like this. If every sport followed this example, video games would become obsolete because every able-bodied young male would be outside trying to kill the next guy to impress oiled up girls.

To be fair, video games wouldn’t become entirely obsolete because we’d still have marijuana and college. But we’d sure have a lot more athletes running around. Hell, imagine if we applied this method to teaching math and science. The future would be a beautiful place.

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Anderson Silva defeated Yushin Okami at UFC 134 without even really trying, but the weekend’s best fight took place in Australia on Friday night between the Melbourne Storm and the Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles. Melbourne’s Adam Blair and Manly’s Glenn Stewart went toe-to-toe after a little push and shove, a little push and shove, a little push and shove, WHACK from their teammates and it is all you want a rugby fight to be.

The announcers and slow motion replay made it sound and look pretty awesome (and it looked like two T-Rexes trying to claw each other in the face), but not everyone enjoyed it.

“It certainly wasn’t a good look for our game,” said Melbourne coach Craig Bellamy.

Like anything else that happens in the world, YouTube is divided into two camps: Camp one says this is normal and should be expected from a sport where rule one is to beat the sh*t out of each other, and camp two says “thugs” or “thuggery” or some form of weirdly-veiled cultural insult. Judge for yourself.

[h/t Off the Bench]

Rugby Australian Rules Football is the most awesome thing in the world that I know nothing about. That honor used to go to the Marianas Trench, but I ended up learning a lot about it in the seventh grade. Anyway, I don’t think you have to know anything about rugby footy to appreciate this video of Nic Naitanui clearing an entire group of human beings to catch a ball. Imagine if Blake Griffin jumped a car for a slam dunk, but jumped the middle part. The Mark of the Year candidate took place against Carlton at Etihad Stadium in Round 14 on Sunday, and yep, that is absolutely right.

Also like the Blake Griffin dunk, the fan comments on the YouTube video itself are a great mixture of “this was great” and a deep explanation of why it wasn’t, including “he just jumped onto other peoples’ backs”, proving that no great deed goes un-meh’d. I think we should always look to enjoy the accomplishments of people who do what we can’t. You could give me a thousand tries to use a living man as a plateau with which to reach a flying rugby ball and I would miss it 1,005 times.

Fun Fact: The bottom of the Marianas Trench is further below sea level than Mount Everest is above sea level.

Meh.

[via Hot Clicks]

I’m not going to pretend to know the first thing about rugby. Back in college, I got super drunk with the women’s rugby team and that’s about the extent of my knowledge. I am, however, quite a fan of watching unnecessary sports violence, so I can declare with confidence that Northampton Saints wing Chris Ashton had his face rocked by Leicester’s Manu Tuilagi in a recent 11-3 Leicester win. Tuilagi received a yellow card for his aggression, but his punches at least marked the first time that the name Manu was associated with anything macho in sports.

Video after the jump, as well as some very special guest commentary on rugby.

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Oh Bekki, you left your socks on just for me!

Old Boys University is not actually a college, despite what I would think when trying not to care about it, but it is in fact a rugby union club in the Wellington Rugby Football Union in New Zealand. That’s where Lord of the Rings was filmed. *gives self wedgie* But I’m not here to pretend to know anything about rugby, because this little story involves boobies, and that’s something the entire world understands.

The Old Boys women’s rugby team is having trouble drawing fans each season, so gals like Bekki Abernathy up there grabbed a camera, ditched their clothes and they made themselves a little calendar. Hoping to escape the classic assumption that women who play rugby are butch goblins with ham fists and bulbous bearded clams, the ladies are not only using this nudie calendar to attract male fans, but also to show more women that hot chicks can also get drunk and beat the crap out of each other.

From the Old Boys Women’s website:

Our classy and artistic 2011 naked calendar rails against this myth by contrasting the concept of the seductive and submissive pin-up girl with images of women who assert themselves as strong athletes and empowered women.

Our calendar only presents images of women who play for our team and we see it as a great way to break down the stereotypes of Women’s Rugby and encourage potential Womens players to see that you dont have to be a certain size, temperament or demeanor to play.

And I think that’s both an outstanding attitude and BLAH BLAH BLAH BOOBIES!!! But don’t go getting any ideas, WNBA. I’m not sure that the 2011 “Luscious Layups” calendar will go flying off the shelves.

Only 1,000 Old Boys calendars are available, and they’re a hot item… or maybe not. Stick around after the jump for ordering details…

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With baseball’s steroid scandals still occupying the news in America, Australia is also reeling from shameful news about its national pastime as well. Rugby players in the land down under have been behaving in disgraceful fashions, but no team is dealing with more controversy than the Sydney Roosters. One year ago, the Roosters suspended and fined Nate Myles after he pooped on a hotel room floor, and now the team is faced (Ed. – feced?) with scandal… No. 2.

Roosters rookies Sam Brunton and Anthony Gelling have been kicked off the team for taking dumps all over a Holiday Inn in North Queensland. Ironically, South Queensland is known for its love of table-pooping. Needless to say, the hotel’s staff was not too pleased with this behavior, and they want the world to know about this awful stench of injustice. Meanwhile, Najeh Davenport thinks these guys are A-OK.

Aim for my chest, Daily Telegraph:

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