Susan Francia, the 6-foot-2 Amazon you see here, won gold with the U.S. crew team in Beijing.  But that doesn’t mean she can’t be critical of other Olympic stars.

[Francia] thinks Michael Phelps is sexy, but he’ll have to do some work if he’s interested. “We’ve met a couple times and he is good-looking, yes. But personality? Hmmm. He could work on it,” Francia, who was in town yesterday from Princeton, NJ, to meet with Ford Models, told Page Six. “I’d go out with him, but I really like the basketball players. They’re taller.”

Oh yeah, she values personality so much she went to a meeting with Ford Models.  But sure, lady, Michael Phelps will get right on that.  He’ll read some Vonnegut, maybe get some opera tickets, register some folks to vote in swing states.  Just as soon as he’s done crushing all the unlimited ass available to him in Las Vegas.

Chinese Olympian Zhang Liang showed up ready to compete in the third heat of the singles rowing event on Saturday.  Problem was, he was scheduled to be in the second heat, which had already taken place.  He was disqualified, which is probably cool with the Chinese government, considering how laid-back they've been about this whole Olympics thing.

The Chinese rower Zhang Liang was disqualified in the men’s double sculls event after he failed to show up for his men’s single sculls race Saturday. The double sculls event, in which Zhang was supposed to row with his teammate Su Hui, was held later in the day. The race went off without them.

Oh, so he cost his country TWO shots at a medal.  Well, I know China can be a little harsh with its ignorance of human rights and maybe a bit too controlling with its Olympic image, but I'm sure Zhang is fine.  As long as he slipped over the border under cover of darkness and has done nothing but put distance between himself and his former home country, which he will never see again if he wants to live.  I love happy endings.

[FanHaus / Gossip on Sports / Slanch Report] 

The Olympic Village has long been known as a place where athletes from all over the world can meet and get past the barriers of language and international politics by engaging in the kind of filthy, hot, ripped-body sexual intercourse only world-class can ever enjoy.  But, because the Olympics are being held in shitty-ass China, the Beijing Olympic Village of course falls way short of expectations.

In Beijing, not only are the condom gift-bags lacking, but the soulless hangar-like disco room — complete with grey walls, grey carpet, sub-zero air conditioning and live Chinese folk music — may well nip any sizzling romance in the bud. "I suggest they won't find what they need in here, like crazy fun and the happy hour," admitted a member of a shaggy haired Chinese rock band, also performing at the venue, as he sipped a fizzy drink in the near-empty bar where booze is banned and the 90s pop disco ends at midnight…

"I haven't seen any bags of frangers," said world champion rower Amber Halliday [above right, pictured with rowing partner Marguerite Houston (left) and former Olympic rower Rebecca Joyce] , using a slang word for condoms from her native Australia. "But the Australian Olympic Committee has a big bowl out on the table and you can help yourself."

Rowers, whose events are in the first week, expect to hit the town big time afterwards, but not inside the Village… "Until the competition is finished you tend to give people space," said Halliday, 28, of the lack of mingling. "But there'll be plenty of partying on the outside in the second week. Where there's an Aussie there's a way to get drunk."

Wow, what dedication to enjoying the Olympic experience.  That just goes to show you that an iron-fisted government that suppresses basic human freedoms still can't defeat the soul.  This reminds me of that one uplifting movie that showcased the triumph of the human spirit– I think it was called Where The Boys Aren't 14.

[Sports by Brooks; photo from Getty Images]