In a world where Kris Humphries can get $24 million for being a basketball player people have heard of, it only makes sense that second overall selection in the NFL draft and living Powerade commercial Robert Griffin III would get paid. That happened this morning, as RG3 showed up in an Instagram signing his contract with the Washington Redskins.

From The Washington Post:

Griffin tweeted Wednesday morning, “Well people…. It’s Time to go to Work!!! off the unemployment line and oh yeah HTTR!!!!”

Under the terms of the sport’s rookie pay system, Griffin’s deal is for four years and contains a fifth-year option. It is expected to be worth about $21 million and to be fully guaranteed, with a signing bonus of $14 million.

14 million (with another 21 coming) is a pretty sweet deal for signing your name, and a completely appropriate next step in life for a guy talented and fortunate enough to turn even his incompletions into magic:

Read the rest of this entry »

On Thursday we shared with you the first basket of Denver Nugget Kenneth Faried’s NBA career: a thunderous, no-look alley-oop. Today, in direct contrast to Faried, we present Washington Wizards forward Jan Vesely air-balling the sh*t out of his first NBA free throw. Just whiffing it completely.

The best part is that the shot he was fouled on looks almost as bad. He looks like me trying to do a lay-up in fifth grade. The worst part is that his team high-fives him after the shot. I know that’s what they teach you in basketball camp and everything, but refs should start handing out technicals for pity fives.

Trey Kirby of The Basketball Jones helps put things into perspective:

My first inclination is to say things can only get better from here, but then I remembered he’s a Wizard so that might not actually be true.

At least he never had to wear those black and tan uniforms, that’s something.

When Stephen Strasburg blew out his arm last August, MASN analyst and former big leagues pitcher Rob Dibble told him to “suck it up” and play through the pain. When Strasburg’s rehabilitation from Tommy John surgery started moving ahead of schedule, Dibble said there was absolutely no reason to bring Strasburg back. The reason I bring this up is because that is a picture of Stephen Strasburg dressed as Papa Smurf from “The Smurfs”, and right now Dibble is hunched over his computer somewhere hammering out a paragraph about how the Nationals front office has no idea what they’re doing, and how the Snorks, specifically Tooter Snork, would’ve been a much better choice. Because Strasburg isn’t ready to be Allstar. Uh, cough.

According to the Nationals, this is the best thing that has ever happened.

“This is what baseball is about,” Marrero said, “being a rookie and being able to do this with my friends.”

Dress like Smurfs, he meant.

In case you were wondering, yes, that sentence fragment masquerading as a paragraph from the D.C. Sports Blog reports Chris Marrero as having said that “painting yourself blue and pretending to be a Smurf because the veterans made you” is what baseball is all about.

Jayson Werth appeared to be the ringleader, and the Smurf theme song played in continuous loop in the clubhouse during the dressing. F.P. Santangelo said the episode was “definitely” the best rookie hazing he’d ever seen in his baseball life.

I feel like somebody should’ve gotten Jayson Werth to dress up like Gargamel, because getting 10 million dollars to bat .233 is about as helpful to the team as tracking the rookies into the forest and cooking them to death in a cauldron. Maybe next year the rookie hazing theme will be “don’t finish in fourth place”.

[h/t Sportress of Blogitude]

As the Washington Wizards close out their home season tonight against the Celtics, one can’t help but checking the work on last year’s No. 1 overall pick, and Wizards rookie guard John Wall has one big obstacle in his campaign for the NBA’s Rookie Of The Year–Blake Griffin. What’s odd is that Griffin, last year’s No.1 overall pick, sat out all of 2009-2010 with an injured kneecap. So this comes down to Which Guy Played Better For His Awful Team?

The former Kentucky Wildcat [Wall] is averaging 16.3 points and 8.5 assists per game this year. Perhaps the league’s most exciting young player, Blake Griffin, leads all rookies with 22.5 points per game. –NESN.

Wall is in the conversation for Rookie of the Year, although the consensus pick appears to be Griffin, whose Clippers (31-50) are languishing near the bottom of the Western Conference and will be a lottery team just like Wall’s Wizards. –Washinton Times.

But not everyone is down on the Great Wall Of Chinatown. Yeah, I’m still calling him that. Read the rest of this entry »

This is a well-done and clever video about life as a professional athlete, performed in the setting of one of those NFL rookie symposiums. I always wondered why the NFL didn’t actually release videos of these events; it seems like news that everyone can use. I mean, I have no idea what to do when I’m approached by HIV-positive groupies. You know, other than pulling a Crocodile Dundee and double-checking for “pre-op” or “post-op.” The eyeball test can’t hold a candle to the “handball” test.

Anyway, your video is after the jump. And for those offended, sorry about the title. That’s such a horribly tasteless comment, and I apologize. But I have it on good authority that she does, in fact, love you long time. So…there’s that. Read the rest of this entry »