I know you're interested in what Ron Artest is doing while his right elbow is healing:

Ron Artest doesn't really want to be an official, even if the injured Kings small forward has been the one making calls during scrimmages and taking verbal abuse at practices recently. "(His teammates) called me Tim Donaghy," Artest said, referring to the disgraced former official. "That was brutal. But you've got to respect the referees. They have just got to … they don't respect us."

I can't believe Ron Artest perceives disrespect. I am shocked! Anyway, it's cool that professional cagers practice their taunts of the referee during practice. Although, just like any rehearsed speech, the wittiest barb is often augmented by improvisation in the heat of battle. Thus, "I question your optical sense, Oh honored court judge. Indeed, your appraisal of this match besmirches your reputation as an unbiased arbitrator!" becomes "Oh, you must be fucking blind! I didn't fucking touch the motherfucker!" -KD

{TrueHoop}

Remember that whole thing abou Ron Artest neglecting his Great Dane?  As it turns out, the district attorney neglecting his Great Dane?  As it turns out, the district attorney won't even file charges against him.

Tests at the vet revealed that the dog had an unknown bone infection in one of its legs which most likely led to the weight loss and loss of appetite. It also turns out that, contrary to popular belief, Artest had in fact hired two people to look after his Great Dane (Socks) while he was out of town.

So I guess we all owe Ron-Ron an apology for making all those jokes before the entire story came to light.  We have a tendency to get carried away and condemn people for things just because police are "investigating."  And by we I mean I.  But let's not go pointing fingers; that's such an ugly thing to do, especially when those fingers are pointed at me.  Unless you're saying "Hey, look at that hot dude."  Then point away, baby, because looking is free.

Get the defibrillator. My heart has stopped because I'm in absolute shock from this story:

Sacramento Kings forward Ron Artest was arrested Monday on suspicion of domestic violence following an incident at his Loomis home…

"(There is) conflicting information about what actually started the argument, but it resulted in some pushing. Through our investigation we determined that Mr. Artest had shoved the victim to the floor several times and that he attempted to leave," Placer County Sheriff's Department Sgt. Andrew Scott said…

Artest was booked at Placer County Jail. He was released on bail Monday afternoon… [He] is barred from his five-acre estate for the time being.

Just for fun, let's look back at Ron-Ron's most recent advice column in Dime Magazine:

My favorite quote is “I’ma smack the [expletive] out of you.”

And… scene.

UPDATE: Ben Maller notes that Artest's wife smashed his Hummer's windshield while he was in the SUV. So I guess everybody's crazy. 

"Ask Ron Artest" is a new advice column from Dime Magazine. Finally.

Ron, I’m thinking about popping the question to my girl. How should I do it? – Calvin
First you gotta have sex one last time, you know, and tell her you love her. You should probably take her out to a simple dinner, nothing too crazy. Keep it simple, because a lady is looking for the little things. If she wants to be with you forever, she’ll like that.

Ron-Ron, what’s your favorite quote? – Kevin 

Ooh! Ooh! I'll be it's something by Thomas Paine, like "The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion." Or maybe "Moderation in temper is always a virtue, but moderation in principle is always a vice."

My favorite quote is “I’ma smack the [expletive] out of you.”

Oh. Who said that? Dorothy Parker?

Kings forward Ron Artest is under criminal investigation for not feeding his Great Dane.

A notice from animal control posted at the front of Artest's Loomis home indicated he is under investigation for failing to feed and nourish the dog.

Neighbors said the dog is often left alone in the yard for months at a time without food and water. They said animal control has taken custody of his dogs on at least three other occasions.

Oh no. Oh my God. I'm so shocked. You expect this sort of thing from villains like David Robinson or Dwyane Wade, but not Ron Artest. I haven't been this surprised in at least three or four minutes.

If convicted, Artest could face a $20,000 fine. So basically, if you're in the NBA, starving your pets is exactly the same as losing a three-point contest to Gilbert Arenas.