Over the weekend, the world’s top-ranked tennis player and Tiger Beat Man of the Year, Rafael Nadal, defeated his bitter rival Roger Federer to win the Mubadala World Tennis Championship exhibition, marking the beginning of the 2011 ATP season and the end of days for football. The practice tournament featured Nadal, Federer, Robin Soderling, Tomas Berdych, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga and Marcos Baghdatis. Maybe next year, terrible American tennis players!

Since 2009, the Mubadala tournament has served as a PR launch for the ATP, as it shows the world how exciting the sport of tennis can be by having its top two stars defeat young up-and-comers, while everyone plays at a level somewhere between “Meh, there might be girls watching” and “Strictly half-assed.” But the real promotional fun doesn’t take place on the actual court, as much as a fake court that is placed in a unique location to give citizens of Doha, Qatar (the WTC exhibition was played in Nermal’s least favorite city, Abu Dahbi) a chance to witness the playful nature of tennis’ top rivalry.

For this weekend’s tournament, Nadal and Federer boarded a floating court in open water and they proceeded to smack the crap out of the ball. Or they lightly slapped it back and forth with the fear that they could drown with one poor step. Either way, I’m sold. Go tennis!

This year’s promotional effort after the jump, as well as the 2008 and 2009 excitement…

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Roger Federer’s ad campaign blitzkrieg continues with his most recent commercial for Lindt Lindor Truffels, which can only be described as bow-chicka-bow-bow. The Swiss tennis star is sexually accosted by sexy airport security agents, undoubtedly every horny traveler’s dream. Things start to get a little PG-13 when the foxy TSA agents express their desire to strip search Roger, and claim that his balls are theirs. RAWR, indeed.

I’ll volunteer my services for Maria Sharapova’s next sexually suggestive commercial. I’ve always though I’d look really awesome with a moustache. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Roger Federer supposedly hits a water bottle off a guy’s head after (or during) a photo shoot. Never mind the fact that Federer aims about 10 feet to the guy’s right and isn’t even looking at the guy after he hits it. Oh, but it’s building great awareness for whatever company whose name was at the beginning of this, so good on them.

Your video is after the jump. If Federer was shooting this on clay, he probably would have hit that guy in the face. Read the rest of this entry »

While you were getting hammered, indulging in delicious barbecue, and doing other American things, the Wimbledon final was getting played out across the pond. 2nd ranked Rafael Nadal beat 12th ranked Tomas Berdych 6-3, 7-5, 6-4 to seal the victory. I have no idea what those numbers mean. Could they be the number of homoerotic grunts each player made each set, perhaps? Probably not, but I have absoloutly no interest in knowing.

And when it ended, Nadal marked his victory with a celebratory somersault. That endless energy, and so many superb strokes, allowed the No. 2-seeded Nadal to outclass No. 12 Tomas Berdych of the Czech Republic 6-3, 7-5, 6-4 Sunday for his second Wimbledon trophy and eighth Grand Slam title overall.

Sunday’s contest was hardly a classic. More like a coronation — or, at the very least, confirmation that Nadal is elbowing his way into any conversation about the best players in tennis history. His eight titles at major tournaments pushes him past John McEnroe and ties Nadal with quite a heady group that includes Andre Agassi, Jimmy Connors and Ivan Lendl. –ESPN

Another of those players in the conversation for best player in tennis history is Roger Federer. But, his time in England was disappointing. The 16-time grand slam champion fell to number three in the ATP rankings. That will give Roger some food for thought while he’s diving into his Scrooge McDuck-esque money locker. Read the rest of this entry »

The great thing about Europe is that you can have a face that looks like a foot and it doesn’t hurt to chances at bagging attractive women. That’s probably why Sarah Jessica Parker got divorced. But anyway, this is Kim Clijsters, the Belgian tennis star with whom American Brian Lynch managed to close the deal. And you can see, Clijsters is really holding up the looks of this outfit. I look at that child and wonder if she was aware of her impending fate as that picture was taken.

Anyway, the men’s final was finally settled last night after being postponed by rain, and the vain in Spain surely appreciated their countryman Argentina’s Juan Martin del Potro, who upset Roger Federer in a five-set thriller. Well, it wasn’t really a thriller. It was tennis, after all. Anyway, Federer threw a bit of a tantrum during a changeover, and you can watch that bizarre lapse in decorum after the jump. So Federer’s losing was probably the bigger story, but the aesthetically challenged family photo gets the banner image. That’s just how we roll around here. Read the rest of this entry »

I swear to God this is my last tennis post of the day, but it’s a good one. It’s the pride of Switzerland [Heyyy --Ed.] Roger Federer chasing down a ball and returning it cross-court. Through his legs, with his back to the court. It’s really not that amazing when you realize that he shaves his ass the same way. He’ll play Juan Martin Del Potro in the final, who beat Rafael Nadal in the semis. I guess that ends the debate about who the world’s No. 1 is on the men’s zzzzzz. Ah, tennis. via.