Forbes magazine today released their annual The World’s Most Powerful Celebrities, a top 100 list that ranks stars based on press coverage, social media buzz and whose agents paid Forbes the most money to put them on a list. At the top of this year’s 100: Jennifer Lopez, who was settling nicely into obscurity as that lady on Eric Cartman’s hand in an old episode of ‘South Park’ before ‘American Idol’ rocketed her back to prominence. Former American Idol winner Taylor Hicks also made the list, coming in at number 4,544,022 between Burnsy and the golden voiced homeless guy.

Tiger Woods managed to hang on as this year’s highest ranking sports celebrity, coming it at number 12. The only other sports guy in the top 25 was LeBron James at number 15, despite Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal coming it at numbers 2 and 3 in “Press Rank” behind Lady Gaga. I don’t know how much of this list is based on math and how much of it is based on people at Forbes trying to name 100 celebrities, so bear with me.

Here’s a full list of the sports personalities who ranked this year:

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ESPN put up a piece this morning analyzing Rafael Nadal’s Australian Open semifinals win over Roger Federer, attributing Federer’s 6-7 (5), 6-2, 7-6 (5), 6-4 loss to everything from inability to consolidate break lead to being bored because the fireworks went on too long. It touches on everything short of “Brooklyn Decker was supposed to stick around and watch but didn’t, and both guys were sorta sad”.

What it doesn’t touch on is that the best moment of Federer/Nadal (“Federal”?) involved neither Federer nor Nadal … at least not directly. That goes to the unnamed ball boy and his amazing Cal-Ripken-Jr.-in-his-prime snag of an errant ball in the above video, courtesy of On The Go Tennis.

The best part is either the roar of the crowd (who are used to excitement, but “tennis excitement”, which is completely different) or the fact that when he makes the catch he goes right back into the ball boy squat with zero theatrics. That’s a kid who knows how to do his job with style.

I probably have a few million first world complaints that I keep to myself for the sake of not being struck by lightning, but if I had to throw one out there, I’d say that Kate Upton doesn’t Tweet enough fun pictures of her and her friends. And no, it’s not because I like to sit in a dark room and photoshop myself into those pictures, despite what any court documentation might say. But when Kate does Tweet pics of her random adventures, it proves one of my oldest theories – life must be good for a gorgeous 19-year old supermodel.

Kate, a huge New York sports fan, recently toured the newest additions to Madison Square Garden and I’m sure it was the greatest thrill of her life. Must have been a million times better than those lame ass trips to Caribbean islands and sitting front row at anything on this planet that has a front row. But she Tweeted the pic of her and her friend Lizzy Glynn having fun so who am I to complain?

Oh, and if you weren’t aware, Kate was also photographed for Diddy’s new coffee table book about the female posterior, fittingly titled, “Culo.” I happen to have her contribution after the jump, as well as this week’s Wild Card Wednesday. Join me, won’t you?

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It feels like the U.S. Open has turned into the NBA Playoffs, what with rain causing the tennis tournament to last the better part of a month, but we’ve definitely seen our fair shares of excitement. For instance, did you catch that semifinals match between Roger Federer (3) and Novak Djokovic (1) on Saturday? Hoo boy, that was some tennis excitement. Djokovic’s come-from-behind win in the 5th set was far and away the highlight of this year’s Open, but today’s Finals matchup between Djokovic and Rafael Nadal (2), who defeated Andy Murray with much less excitement in the semifinals, will probably be the stuff of legends as well.

On the women’s side, 9th-ranked Samantha Stosur defeated Serena Williams 6-2 and 6-3 to win the Women’s Championship, and of course Williams blamed it on the officiating. Williams yelled, “Come on” during a rally and umpire Eva Asderaki docked her a point for a code violation. That’s when Williams became a little miffed.

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Over the weekend, the world’s top-ranked tennis player and Tiger Beat Man of the Year, Rafael Nadal, defeated his bitter rival Roger Federer to win the Mubadala World Tennis Championship exhibition, marking the beginning of the 2011 ATP season and the end of days for football. The practice tournament featured Nadal, Federer, Robin Soderling, Tomas Berdych, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga and Marcos Baghdatis. Maybe next year, terrible American tennis players!

Since 2009, the Mubadala tournament has served as a PR launch for the ATP, as it shows the world how exciting the sport of tennis can be by having its top two stars defeat young up-and-comers, while everyone plays at a level somewhere between “Meh, there might be girls watching” and “Strictly half-assed.” But the real promotional fun doesn’t take place on the actual court, as much as a fake court that is placed in a unique location to give citizens of Doha, Qatar (the WTC exhibition was played in Nermal’s least favorite city, Abu Dahbi) a chance to witness the playful nature of tennis’ top rivalry.

For this weekend’s tournament, Nadal and Federer boarded a floating court in open water and they proceeded to smack the crap out of the ball. Or they lightly slapped it back and forth with the fear that they could drown with one poor step. Either way, I’m sold. Go tennis!

This year’s promotional effort after the jump, as well as the 2008 and 2009 excitement…

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Roger Federer’s ad campaign blitzkrieg continues with his most recent commercial for Lindt Lindor Truffels, which can only be described as bow-chicka-bow-bow. The Swiss tennis star is sexually accosted by sexy airport security agents, undoubtedly every horny traveler’s dream. Things start to get a little PG-13 when the foxy TSA agents express their desire to strip search Roger, and claim that his balls are theirs. RAWR, indeed.

I’ll volunteer my services for Maria Sharapova’s next sexually suggestive commercial. I’ve always though I’d look really awesome with a moustache. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »