The great thing about Europe is that you can have a face that looks like a foot and it doesn’t hurt to chances at bagging attractive women. That’s probably why Sarah Jessica Parker got divorced. But anyway, this is Kim Clijsters, the Belgian tennis star with whom American Brian Lynch managed to close the deal. And you can see, Clijsters is really holding up the looks of this outfit. I look at that child and wonder if she was aware of her impending fate as that picture was taken.
Anyway, the men’s final was finally settled last night after being postponed by rain, and the vain in Spain surely appreciated their countryman Argentina’s Juan Martin del Potro, who upset Roger Federer in a five-set thriller. Well, it wasn’t really a thriller. It was tennis, after all. Anyway, Federer threw a bit of a tantrum during a changeover, and you can watch that bizarre lapse in decorum after the jump. So Federer’s losing was probably the bigger story, but the aesthetically challenged family photo gets the banner image. That’s just how we roll around here. Read the rest of this entry »
I swear to God this is my last tennis post of the day, but it’s a good one. It’s the pride of Switzerland [Heyyy --Ed.] Roger Federer chasing down a ball and returning it cross-court. Through his legs, with his back to the court. It’s really not that amazing when you realize that he shaves his ass the same way. He’ll play Juan Martin Del Potro in the final, who beat Rafael Nadal in the semis. I guess that ends the debate about who the world’s No. 1 is on the men’s zzzzzz. Ah, tennis. via.
It took the longest fifth set in Wimbledon history for Roger Federer to get past Andy Roddick in the men’s final at the All England Club. Roddick held serve all but one time, as Federer and that stupid white jacket of his marched toward an unprecedented 15th major tennis championship. I have to give love to Roddick showing such naddage in the final, especially playing with a hip flexor injury that will force him to miss the Davis Cup, whatever that is. I’m sure it involves large helpings of lasagna and obese cats. Ufford would love it.
ASYLUM POLL: Who is the greatest major champion? Tiger Woods or Roger Federer?
Tiger Woods was in The District this past weekend, holding off stiff competition in his own tournament, the AT&T National, which is a crappy tournament name for such a good golfer. Hunter Mahan and Anthony Kim also came up short of catching the King of Cablinasia, as Tiger won his 3rd tournament of the year by one shot over Mahan. And then Tiger probably just went home and ate some grapes or something, because winning is all he does, and if some day he plays in a tournament and doesn’t win, he can set out on his other mission–killing Sarah Connor.
Tiger Woods won at the Memorial on the outskirts of Columbus, Ohio yesterday, not far from the Columbus Zoo, in fact. Woods was four strokes off the lead heading into Sunday blah blah blah he kicked everyone in the nuts and won. I wish Tiger was from New York or Boston so the rest of the country could be as bothered with him as I am.
And here comes your last tennis news for June: Roger Federer won the French. Oh, sure, it’s easy when you don’t have to play Nadal, isn’t it, Roger? That gives Roger 14 majors and a career grand slam, an achievement that took me down a dark and dangerous path: what would be a “grand slam” for actual professions? Would a “Waiting tables” grand slam involve Family Restaurant/Irish Pub/Four-Star White Linen Joint/Rollerskating Diner? The grand slam for johns? Asian/Redhead/MILF/I Swear She Said She Was 18? This standing needs to be applied in all walks of life, otherwise it means nothing. Eh, it probably means nothing anyway.
From Hot Clicks: It’s Tiger Woods and Derek Jeter walking down the street looking like douchebags. Not sure when Saturday Night Fever became timely again. And look, there’s Roger Federer on another set 5,000 miles away. Or, um, across the street. Yeah, that’s it. Nice shoes, asshole.
The Super Bowl blotted out all other sporting events this weekend, and that’s too bad*, because there was some outstanding action in other arenas.
RAFAEL NADAL IS A BADASS – Nadal, whose five-set semifinal match was the longest in Australian Open history (5 hours, 14 minutes), had one day less to prepare for the final than Roger Federer, and Nadal still beat him — in five sets that took almost four and a half hours. Then Federer cried. Awesome.
GEORGES ST-PIERRE: ALSO A BADASS — GSP’s domination of a completely overmatched BJ Penn at uFC 94 started talk of the French Candian taking on middleweight champion Anderson Silva for the sport’s next “superfight.” However, the fight I’m looking forward to most is Jon Jones versus anyone at all. His unanimous decision over Stephan Bonner was the most entertaining fight of the night.
HOCKEY, BASKETBALL STILL GOING ON – I just wanted to make them feel special. Just eleven days until the NBA’s All-Star weekend, so that’s something to kind of look forward to. I guess.
*not really
