Say what you will about Jimmy Fallon’s inability to keep a straight face during … well, anything, really, but he morphs into the funniest person in the world when he’s called upon to do an impression of someone who never has an impression of them done. See: Neil Young, Eddie Vedder or that amazing (and seemingly totally lost) SNL sketch where he played Punky Brewster’s Dad.

One of the best of his unnecessary, spot-on impressions is top ranked tennis robot Roger Federer. In the latest installment of ‘At The Bar With Roger Federer’, faux FedEx eats tennis balls, reads Fifty Shades Of Grey and — you guessed it — fails to keep a straight face while talking about Santa Claus. It’s so parfeck.

Video is below.

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I don’t know about you hard-working folks, but when I hear that Forbes has released its list of the 100 Highest Paid Athletes, it might as well be Christmas morning to me. After all, nothing makes me happier than the success of a person who was given a gift by the gods. Well, that’s not entirely true. What makes me incredibly happy is when that person is also a total dick. Because if you’re talented and wealthy, what’s the point in caring what people think about you?

And hoo boy, this year’s Top 10 is chocked with some athletes that really don’t give a sh*t what people think about them. That’s not to say that these are all necessarily terrible human beings, but they’re definitely not universally beloved. For starters, did you know that the highest paid athlete of the past year currently lives in a prison cell?

Haha, life is fair!

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Forbes magazine today released their annual The World’s Most Powerful Celebrities, a top 100 list that ranks stars based on press coverage, social media buzz and whose agents paid Forbes the most money to put them on a list. At the top of this year’s 100: Jennifer Lopez, who was settling nicely into obscurity as that lady on Eric Cartman’s hand in an old episode of ‘South Park’ before ‘American Idol’ rocketed her back to prominence. Former American Idol winner Taylor Hicks also made the list, coming in at number 4,544,022 between Burnsy and the golden voiced homeless guy.

Tiger Woods managed to hang on as this year’s highest ranking sports celebrity, coming it at number 12. The only other sports guy in the top 25 was LeBron James at number 15, despite Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal coming it at numbers 2 and 3 in “Press Rank” behind Lady Gaga. I don’t know how much of this list is based on math and how much of it is based on people at Forbes trying to name 100 celebrities, so bear with me.

Here’s a full list of the sports personalities who ranked this year:

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ESPN put up a piece this morning analyzing Rafael Nadal’s Australian Open semifinals win over Roger Federer, attributing Federer’s 6-7 (5), 6-2, 7-6 (5), 6-4 loss to everything from inability to consolidate break lead to being bored because the fireworks went on too long. It touches on everything short of “Brooklyn Decker was supposed to stick around and watch but didn’t, and both guys were sorta sad”.

What it doesn’t touch on is that the best moment of Federer/Nadal (“Federal”?) involved neither Federer nor Nadal … at least not directly. That goes to the unnamed ball boy and his amazing Cal-Ripken-Jr.-in-his-prime snag of an errant ball in the above video, courtesy of On The Go Tennis.

The best part is either the roar of the crowd (who are used to excitement, but “tennis excitement”, which is completely different) or the fact that when he makes the catch he goes right back into the ball boy squat with zero theatrics. That’s a kid who knows how to do his job with style.

I probably have a few million first world complaints that I keep to myself for the sake of not being struck by lightning, but if I had to throw one out there, I’d say that Kate Upton doesn’t Tweet enough fun pictures of her and her friends. And no, it’s not because I like to sit in a dark room and photoshop myself into those pictures, despite what any court documentation might say. But when Kate does Tweet pics of her random adventures, it proves one of my oldest theories – life must be good for a gorgeous 19-year old supermodel.

Kate, a huge New York sports fan, recently toured the newest additions to Madison Square Garden and I’m sure it was the greatest thrill of her life. Must have been a million times better than those lame ass trips to Caribbean islands and sitting front row at anything on this planet that has a front row. But she Tweeted the pic of her and her friend Lizzy Glynn having fun so who am I to complain?

Oh, and if you weren’t aware, Kate was also photographed for Diddy’s new coffee table book about the female posterior, fittingly titled, “Culo.” I happen to have her contribution after the jump, as well as this week’s Wild Card Wednesday. Join me, won’t you?

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It feels like the U.S. Open has turned into the NBA Playoffs, what with rain causing the tennis tournament to last the better part of a month, but we’ve definitely seen our fair shares of excitement. For instance, did you catch that semifinals match between Roger Federer (3) and Novak Djokovic (1) on Saturday? Hoo boy, that was some tennis excitement. Djokovic’s come-from-behind win in the 5th set was far and away the highlight of this year’s Open, but today’s Finals matchup between Djokovic and Rafael Nadal (2), who defeated Andy Murray with much less excitement in the semifinals, will probably be the stuff of legends as well.

On the women’s side, 9th-ranked Samantha Stosur defeated Serena Williams 6-2 and 6-3 to win the Women’s Championship, and of course Williams blamed it on the officiating. Williams yelled, “Come on” during a rally and umpire Eva Asderaki docked her a point for a code violation. That’s when Williams became a little miffed.

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