ROFLMNBAO: The Long, Fashionable History Of Ridiculous Glasses In The NBA

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.11.12

With the table now set for the NBA Finals, as the Miami Heat will take on the Oklahoma City Thunder starting tomorrow night at 9 PM, I wanted to address a very important topic before we get all analytical on your asses. People have been talking and complaining about the rapidly-spreading fad of NBA players wearing “nerd glasses”, with the most notable attention directed at Dwyane Wade and LeBron James. For some reason, the fact that Wade even wore glasses without lenses has been something that should be talked about.

Fine. Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how this fad isn’t anything new. NBA players have always been notorious trendsetters, starting with their eyewear. It goes back to the very first days of the NBA, as star players like Joe Dribbleguy and Kevin Bouncepass were generating buzz with their own ridiculous glasses.

After the jump, I’ve put together a gallery of the NBA’s biggest legends all wearing their own unique eyewear, on and off the court. And if these players are guilty of anything, it’s wearing glasses that apparently don’t have arms. I mean, what’s up with that?

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ROFLMNBAO: A Tribute To The Many Faces Of Tyler Hansbrough

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.09.12

Indiana Pacers forward Tyler Hansbrough is the prototypical love him or hate him player. He’s energetic, intense and borderline obnoxious on the court, so fans of the team he plays for love him and those he plays against hate him. In the Pacers’ first round series against the Orlando Magic alone, he showed that even though his numbers are low coming off the bench, he contributes best by getting into opponents’ heads and causing them to make mistakes.

I’m also the perfect example of a basketball fan who typically hates Hansbrough, because I find his intensity more arrogant than infectious. But during this first round series, in which his Pacers defeated the Magic 4 games to 1, I learned to respect him more than I ever have. Originally, I thought that Hansbrough was just a mouth-breathing dolt, grunting and derping his way through games and awkwardly lunging for undeserved chest bumps and high fives.

I’ve now learned, though, that there’s so much more emotional and intellectual depth to this athletic warrior and I want to pay tribute to Hansbrough in order to once and for all crush the misconception that he’s anything but a winner.

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ROFLMNBAO: The 2011-12 Season Awards Edition!

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.03.12

I took a couple weeks off from doing these here ROFLMNBAO posts for two reasons: 1) because the last two weeks of the season were soooooo boring and B) I forgot. But I figured what better time than now to resume posting these NBA meme pictures since the news that they’re so in demand. Form a line to the left, attractive girls who want to give me money to create ridiculously corny-sounding sites!

Also, I figured it was a better time than any for this week’s installment with the playoffs in full swing and individual awards being presented by the league. As we already know, Tyson Chandler is the Defensive Player of the Year, Jason Kidd received the Sportsmanship Award and Gregg Popovich is the Coach of the Year. “What about the other awards?” you ask while peeling apart the pages of my vintage Hustler collection. The NBA is taking its sweet ass time with those, so I’m issuing my own awards.

A lot happened in this condensed season, so it’s only fair that we recognize everyone for their efforts.

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ROFLMNBAO: Starbury’s Still Got It!

Written by Ashley Burns / 04.04.12

With a 1.5 game lead over the Milwaukee Bucks for the 8th playoff spot in the East, it seems like the New York Knicks are in good position to at least make the playoffs. They’re still sitting at .500 (27-27) as they have been for most of the season, and even the energy of a new coach and system isn’t helping them get over the hump and back into serious contention, despite some analysts who have the Knicks pegged as a title contender hiding in the best spot possible. Because any team, regardless of talent level, really wants to play the No. 1 seed in the first round of the playoffs.

But over in China, an old Knick is proving that he had some gas left in the tank to get himself a championship. Stephon Marbury and the Beijing Ducks – mmmmmmmm, Beijing duck – are the new Chinese Basketball Association champions, after Starbury scored 41 points in Game 5 to oust the defending champions, Guangdong Hongyuan. Marbury also scored 52 points in Game 2 and 53 points in Game 3, so if you were wondering how the New York sports media would pass the time with Jeremy Lin out for the season… stop.

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ROFLMNBAO: Heading Down The Home Stretch!

Written by Ashley Burns / 03.28.12

As we head into the 4th quarter of the NBA season, the Chicago Bulls are the first and only team to have clinched a playoff spot so far, which wouldn’t seem like much of an accomplishment, except that Derrick Rose has missed 17 games this season. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat have entered that “we know we can kill anyone but we’re saving it for the playoffs” phase of their season, which doesn’t mean much, because they’ll still finish in the No. 2 spot – if they don’t gain ground and upend the Bulls, that is – because the Orlando Magic and Philadelphia 76ers most likely aren’t going to catch them.

In the West, the Oklahoma City Thunder showed they’re ready to start the playoffs now, with a 103-87 thrashing of the Heat on Sunday. San Antonio, though, has flown under the radar while becoming the second best team in the conference, and those cranky, grizzled veterans are probably the biggest threat to the Thunder’s Finals run. Well, except maybe the Lakers or the Mavericks. Or anyone.

This season has been strange.

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ROFLMNBAO: The NCAA Tournament Edition!

Written by Ashley Burns / 03.20.12

With Brandon out gallivanting around Austin for SXSW, living the rock star life, and me back here at home watching the baby, I realized that I forgot to do a ROFLMNBAO post last week, and for that I can’t apologize enough. But I also figured that we could take a breather from Dwight Howard’s flip-flopping, Chris Bosh’s squawking, Blake Griffin’s air balling and Derrick Rose’s back injuring and celebrate some of the stars of the weekend’s NCAA Tournament action for this week’s edition.

After all, there were some great games that none of us expected as the Sweet 16 field presented itself. And to tie the NBA and NCAA ends together, I got to wondering what would have happened if Florida Gators coach Billy Donovan would have taken the Orlando Magic head coach position a few years ago, instead of backing out and returning to UF. And I don’t imaging it would be much different, as Otis Smith would have still traded for the worst contract in basketball and I’d still have the liver of a 63-year old.

On with the celebration and mockery of America’s student-athletes!

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