Now I don’t know much about the music that you crazy kids are listening to today, but I’m told by the barista at my Starbucks that Jay Z is a hippity hop rap maker, and he’s quite successful. So successful, in fact, that he could write down 100 jobs and careers on a piece of paper, cover his eyes and point, and just up and do whichever gig he chooses, simply because he’s wealthier than most nations and just doesn’t give a proverbial f*ck.

That’s why it wasn’t very shocking when New York Yankees second baseman Robinson Cano announced that he had fired his agent Scott Boras and declared that he was the first professional athlete to sign with Jay Z’s new sports agency, Roc Nation Sports.

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The 2012 MLB Home Run Derby took place last night in Kansas City’s Kauffman Stadium (the one with the fountains), and if you were like most people you had a passing interest, got bored, then spent a little time on Twitter trying to make Chris Berman’s incessant “BECK BECK BECK BECK BECK” thing funny. You have have compared him to a chicken. It happens.

In the event that you didn’t have seven hours to kill watching dudes congratulate themselves, we’ve collected all the important moments MLB.com would allow us without expressed written consent … that includes a pair of monster home runs, Robinson Cano getting a reaction that made Yankees fans break out their shame fingers and a Royals fan who gets greedy and nearly ends up drowned in the fountain. It was all the fun you’d expect from a home run derby, only it took seven hours.

Up first, here’s Robinson Cano getting his feelings hurt:

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