Hola! I do not speak Spanish! I do, however, have an entire Impact report just for you! Some pre-show notes before we start:

- There are 15 days left in the Meet Me There IndieGoGo drive. For those of you who aren’t aware, my very dearest friend/ our favourite With Leather Editor has written a movie, and it’s really, really good. It also stars Goldust, and hey, he’s a guy a lot of people like. If you’ve got a few dollars to spare, toss it their way and help it be the best movie it can be.

- Speaking of cool stuff for you cool cats to do, check out The Mandible Claw! We have fun stuff happening, amazing contributors, and a podcast. This week we were on vacation, but now is the best time to familiarize yourself before we return next week relaxed, rejuvenated, and funky fresh.

- Social Media is all the rage these days. Should you like to find out what I’m up to, send any questions, or even better, send gifs of cats on treadmills, I can be found on Twitter here. You can also follow With Leather (do it!), and UPROXX (also do that!). Sharing is caring, so be sure to like and share this on Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit, billboards, the sides of bridges, abandoned mine shafts, bathroom stalls, and wherever else you can think of.

This week on Impact: Corpus Christi proves why they shouldn’t be allowed to have nice things, Taryn Terrell reminds us that we can’t have nice things, and Joseph Park shows up so I can say at least some nice things. COSAS BONITAS!

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Good morning! Or…good whatever time of day you’re reading this at! I hope you’ve had a lovely week. You look nice today. Let’s do a Best and Worst, shall we? First things first:

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Reminder: She's the referee.

Cheerio! ‘ello Guvnah! Whatever stereotypical British greeting you’d like me to give! I hope you all had a wonderful week, and a very special Anna Howard Shaw Day. A few things before we get on to the (thankfully) final episode from the UK.

- This weekend I will be heading across the border for Squared Circle Wrestling’s Heat Wave (scroll to the bottom for the card) event in Niagara Falls, NY. Jessica Havok! Christina Von Eerie! Rachel f’n Summerlyn! SPIKE DUDLEY! If there’s no report next week, it will be because my heart literally folded in on itself like an Autobot transforming. If you like the idea of seeing any of these wrestlers, and also hanging out in American Niagara at a bar that doesn’t even have a website, then by all means come out, say hello, enjoy some badass ladies and little Spikey, and hope our cars don’t get broken into!

- This week at The Wrestling Blog, I interviewed ACW’s own Jack Jameson. Head on over, watch some fun matches, and compliment him on his full and manly beard. I’ve been close to it in person and it’s nothing short of glorious.

- So this Social Media fad is pretty fun and far out, so why not get on board and follow me on twitter? With Leather is here, and UPROXX is also worth a follow. We also appreciate likes and shares and up votes and all those good things, so hit as many buttons as possible when prompted. It helps spread the word, and lets me keeping doing things like posting pictures of myself eating a burrito on a legit sports comedy website.

This week on Impact: In what feels like the longest UK tour ever, Hogan kind of sort of makes a tournament, shows that his poopies face isn’t just for disapproval, and gets lost in the hallways of Wembley Arena. Find out if he chooses an opponent for Jeff Hardy at Lockdown or gets committed to an assisted care facility after the jump!

Hola, fellow Impact lovers! Or…tolerators! Let’s get some pre-show notes going!

- If reading isn’t enough, I did two podcasts this week. The first, a look back at one of my favourite matches, Spike Dudley vs. Mike Awesome at Guilty as Charged 2000 for Wrestlespective Radio. The second was my official induction into the Wrestling Blog, where Tom Holzerman and I manage to keep the Chikara talk to a surprising minimum, but are free wheelin’ with love for Rachel Summerlyn. So stuff those in your ear holes!

- Again, Brandon and I will be reppin’ the good name of With Leather at National Pro Wrestling Day. ACH and the Estonian Thunder Frog will be there, and if you’ve paid attention to anything I ever do ever, you know I am super duper excited and can’t wait to see either of them. If you can make it, you should do it, because good wrestling is fun, but good wrestling for free is the best!

- You should follow us in as many ways as possible. My twitter is here, With Leather lives here, and UPROXX pilots the mother ship over here. You can tweet and like and tumbl and share on reddit and do whatever you can to make sure people are reading, and someone, one day, realizes that they have the power to put Jeff Jarrett on television and it is a really, really bad idea so they won’t.

This week on Impact: Joseph Park, some other stuff, more Joseph Park, and then some other stuff with people and wrestling and things. And Joseph Park!

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Well hello again, Internet friends and that one guy who really hates me! Who’s ready for another Impact that I enjoyed way more than I probably should have? I know I am! But first…

• Over at The Wrestling Blog, I reviewed the SMASH Wrestling event I mentioned in last week’s column. Johnny Gargano did some stuff and I had reactions, so check it out!

• If you missed last week’s report, you can find it here. Personally, I think you should read all of them, but I may be a tad biased.

• Apparently Reddit is a thing we should all be sharing this on. So go forth, red … it … nd make Brandon happy!

• While you’re sharing, like us on Facebook, follow myself, With Leather, and UPROXX on the twitters, and maybe also show how cool you are for reading this on tumblr. It’s not just for pictures of cats!

This week on Impact: Hulk Hogan makes disapproving faces, Jeff Hardy magically keeps his shirt on, and my lifelong views of Supermarket Sweep are crushed. Let’s get Besting and Worsting!

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OH MY GOD WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR ARM, REF

Hola, lovelies! I am riding high on a Christmas full of Jack Swagger action figures, talking Chewbaccas, and a shockingly great (mostly) episode of Impact. I hope you’re all ready for a heck of a lot of bests, because I am full of leftover festive cheer and also coffee and I am ready to get to it! But first things first:

• Before you do anything, you should go out and send a Christmas card to Dalton Dingle. Go on. I’ll wait.

• We don’t have fancy video packages, but you can find out what got Bested and Worsted last week here. If you aren’t caught up, but already guessed that Taz made horribly offensive gay jokes about Santa Claus, you’re right, and I am so so sorry.

• You don’t have to kiss to be clever, but we’d always appreciate it if you’d Tumbl for us. You can also like us on Facebook, use the twitters to tell all of your friends about the cool stuff you read on the internet (and also this article), and follow myself and With Leather while you’re there. UPROXX lives in the twitters as well, should you feel the need to tell them how much you enjoy these reports, or send selfies of you clutching your pearls (or personal equivalent) at the idea of a non-Brandon Best & Worst.

This week on Impact, gratuitous heel on heel action, Bully Ray proves that even he doesn’t watch this show, and Mr. Anderson takes them both because he is…whatever the Mr. Anderson equivalent is of hardcore.

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