Like most people, I watch the Super Bowl for the slam dunks.

Thanks to Cameron Smith at Prep Rally, my dream of watching New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski dunk on a bunch of high schoolers with Franz Ferdinand playing in the background has finally come true … turns out that before he was inspiring Twisted Sister covers and making Bibi Jones ply her trade off the clock he was simply a gigantic f**king high schooler who could jump slightly and monster jam it home. Pretty cool.

At least now we know how he managed to graduate. It certainly wasn’t his grades in Spanish.

The other day we celebrated New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski for his shameless use of Twitter as a way to hit on ridiculously attractive women, like our beloved Kate Upton. In fact, Gronk’s Twitter use led him straight into the arms of adult film actress Bibi Jones last weekend, while the Patriots were enjoying their bye week. Jones claims that nothing happened between the two, that Gronk always carries his jersey with him so he can take pictures of girls wearing nothing but it, and that all they did was watch her movies together… with 5 other guys. I know, it’s a little too much for me to put together in my head this morning, too.

But the national media has, without any surprise in the world, blown this story up into something way beyond how cool Gronk is. Most of the old school reporters and columnists see this as deplorable behavior and have brought down their hammers of Murrow with rage upon the single 22-year old eventual millionaire. Sadly, they won, because after meeting with Patriots owner Robert Kraft, Gronk has issued an apology.

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Or perhaps that title should read: “Rob Gronkowski knows how to spend a bye week.” Either way, if you’re not familiar with the New England Patriots’ tight end’s Twitter account, let me give you a super brief synopsis – he likes to hit on hot girls. For example, Gronk has famously tried to spark a blood rivalry with me by hitting on Kate Upton via the Tweets. He also hit on Rihanna, but she just spent $2,000 in a sex shop, and quite frankly I imagine it’s like throwing a Tic Tac into the Holland Tunnel.

Lately, though, Gronk has a new Tweety lady in adult film star Bibi Jones, whom he paid a visit to over the weekend, leading to her posting the above photo. She also posted a photo of her with Gronk shirtless (after the jump) which leads to my math problem of the day:

(Horny NFL star – shirt) + (porn actress – shorts) x (porn actress wearing NFL star’s jersey + any man’s fantasy of a girl wearing only a jersey)^2 = They did it

Alas, Ms. Jones says that my math is faulty.

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