Sad news from the professional wrestling world tonight, as the owner of the Funeral Parlor has passed away.

WWE is saddened to learn of the passing of William Moody, aka Paul Bearer. Moody made his WWE debut in 1991 as the manager of The Undertaker and went on to become a memorable part of WWE over the course of the next 20 years.

Our deepest condolences go out to Moody’s family, friends and fans. (via WWE.com)

Paul Bearer was one of the weirdest and most unforgettable characters in wrestling history, and the only way I can think of to honor is memory is to share some of the reasons why. Here’s a collection of Bearer videos and pictures, which are best viewed alongside the very true fact that he’ll be in our heads (and hearts) forever.

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It came as a bit of a shock to most basketball fans that Los Angeles Lakers owner Jerry Buss had been battling cancer at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for the past several months, but some reports from his family indicated that he was “doing fine”. Sadly, it turns out that was not the case.

Lakers owner Jerry Buss passed away this morning. A sad day for L.A.

— Mike Bresnahan (@Mike_Bresnahan) February 18, 2013

This is obviously a sad day for Lakers fans and NBA fans in general, and there will be plenty of information and reports coming in today and this week as to what happened, as well as the well wishes of the countless players, coaches and fans that he has touched along the way. Prior to the NBA All-Star Weekend, Kobe Bryant touched on the enormity of Buss’ presence in the grand history of the league, and I think that the Mamba’s words were a great start in helping people truly understand the Buss legacy.

“It’s beyond measure,” Bryant said. “I don’t think there’s any way to really define it. What he’s done, it’s tough to really find a match for that in any sport. He’s been a model of consistency.”

“He’s meant everything to me in my career, taking a risk on a 17-year-old kid coming out of high school and believing in me my entire career,” he said. “For the game itself, the brand of basketball, ‘Showtime’ carried the league. You think about the rivalry that took place between the Lakers and the Celtics, and what that did for the global outreach of the game.

“It reached me, and I was in Italy.”

Much respect.

Here’s a story that will make you laugh, then cry, then want to find like four cats and tie them together and try to make things right.

Meet Stewie, the Guinness World Record holder for “World’s Longest Cat.”

The longest domestic cat is Mymains Stewart Gilligan (Stewie to his furr-ends), who is 123 cm (48.5 in) long. He is owned by Robin Hendrickson and Erik Brandsness (USA) and was measured on 28 August 2010.

Mymains Stewart Gillligan is a 5 year-old Maine Coon.

I wish the story could end with THIS CAT IS LONGER THAN EVERY OTHER CAT EVER THAT IS AMAZING, but it doesn’t. Stewie spent the last few years battling cancer and passed away earlier in the week. I can’t think of anything more directly saddening on the Internet than “a special cat has died.” Stewie’s owner posted a farewell video on his Facebook fan page (because he has that) and gives the poor guy a chance to say goodbye. The tears we cry for Long Cat are long.

Here’s a clip of Stewie in happier days, from his Guinness World Records video.

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Bad news out of Kenner, Louisiana this week, as something called the “Beer Cave” has taken a man’s life.

Kenner Police say a man died inside a beer cooler at a convenient store on Airline Drive overnight, but no one knew he was there until they found his very cold body this morning.

“We have a gentleman that went into the Beer Cave, where you can go in and select beer from inside the cooler. It appears that he had experienced some type of medical problem,” Sgt. Brian McGregor told WWL First News.

McGregor says surveillance video shows the man clutching his chest in the cooler around 10:30pm last night and then collapsing. They found him after 7:00am.

The coroner is conducting an autopsy, but police do not suspect any foul play. (Via WWL First News)

First and foremost, I blame Coors Light’s latest ad campaign. Every time I see those guys chipping frosty beers out of mountains only to carry them through a cooler to thirsty tailgaters, I can’t help but think that someone out there has to be dumb enough to think that beer comes from a mountain. I mean, have you seen how stupid Facebook is making people?

But I don’t like to make fun of a person’s death unless it involves someone in Florida being shot because they pooped on someone’s floor and then masturbated. Instead, I see this strange death as a precautionary tale for everyone as the Super Bowl approaches.

Be careful, NFL fans. We already have bizarre stories of fans falling from their upper deck seats and bros puking all over women’s bathrooms because they’re too wasted. Let’s look out for our fellow NFL fans and especially those who like to enjoy a few adult beverages during the big game, because as this collection of GIFs tells us, responsible drinking should be joyous.

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I’ve had Stan Musial: An American Life buried on my Amazon Wish List for longer than I can remember, beneath a neverending list of fitness equipment that I’m never going to buy and a growing pile of Blu Ray movies that I really don’t even want. I don’t know why I haven’t ordered the biography of a man who I’ve been fascinated with since I was a child, but I think it has something to do with being content with the bits and pieces I’ve picked up over the years.

While I’m not qualified to tell you what an amazing man Stan Musial was, I don’t need to mention that he was one of the greatest athletes to ever play the game of baseball, because that’s common sense. In fact, his legacy should be taught in elementary schools throughout America, in between long division and social studies, because Musial shouldn’t just be a hero to the baseball worshipping fans of St. Louis. He should be talked about with Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle, even though he probably wouldn’t have wanted us to.

Musial passed away on Saturday at the age of 92, and you can’t take a step without tripping over an article or column about Musial the hero. I’ve always wondered if Musial’s legacy as the ultimate gentleman athlete had come as the result of St. Louis baseball gospel, and I’ve always been scared that someone would show up with a sledgehammer to tear down the country’s figurative monument to Stan the Man’s reputation. But no one has, and I’ll keep praying that no one will, because they sure don’t build ‘em like this guy anymore.

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Earl Weaver wrapped up his Major League Baseball managing career in 1986, when I was just 7-years old and barely wise enough to know why that old man was screaming at the umpire and being ejected from the game. I do know that he was a St. Louis guy, which makes it somewhat endearing that he spent his post-playing days managing the team that was once the St. Louis Browns, but it was only thanks to this Internet and YouTube era that I’ve truly been able to appreciate the man who still leads all American League managers with 94 ejections. May that record stand long and proud.

Weaver passed away last night at the age of 82. His marketing agent announced that Weaver collapsed on a cruise that was sponsored by the Baltimore Orioles; however, the cause of death is yet unknown. All I can hope for is that he got to give the cruise director hell. “You call that a deluxe seafood buffet,” he’d shout before throwing first base into the ocean, I like to imagine.

Weaver actually helped me appreciate baseball in a more unusual way, certainly one that he probably would have hated, in that Earl Weaver Baseball was the first computer game that I can remember owning and playing. It was a maddening, frustrating experience in hand-eye coordination, as everything that was produced by that floppy disk made me furious. But it taught me a lot about baseball and the guys who played it for so many years, so Earl Weaver will always hold a special place in my heart for that.

Fortunately, this YouTube era indeed allows us to remember that Weaver was a grizzled, old school manager who didn’t give a damn. He was brash and unapologetic, and that’s why so many people loved him. And it’s that brash and unapologetic attitude that gave us his unaired edition of Manager’s Corner, in which he answered fan questions with more curse words than I ever knew existed.

Thanks for all the laughs and home runs, Earl.

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