When I was born, my grandmother knitted me a quilt, as was a tradition in my family for many years. When my mom finally tried to give me that quilt this year, I was all, “But mom, I live in Florida, where we only use quilts to cover up our meth equipment when the cops come by to examine reports of chainsaw fights.” Plus, she knitted that quilt 33 years… I mean, 25 years ago, and it’s probably a little delicate. Anyway, no disrespect to my grandmother, but her quilt had nothing on the blanket one NBA fan apparently had made for his grandmother.

Yesterday, as I was shooting gravy intravenously, Minnesota Timberwolves guard Ricky Rubio Tweeted a picture of a man’s grandmother, which is definitely much better than Shawn Kemp Tweeting a picture of your grandma, because this woman was holding up the giant quilt that she presumably received from her favorite little guy. As you can see, that’s a Ricky Rubio quilt.

It may haunt your dreams, but it will keep you oh-so-warm.

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Minnesota Timberwolves PG Ricky Rubio tore the anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee back in March, causing the onslaught of out-of-nowhere T-Wolves viral videos to slow to a crawl. The good news today is twofold — Rubio is targeting a December return from injury, and he’s already started working on those viral videos.

His first effort: playing the classic vertical board game Connect Four with basketballs on the Spanish talk show “El Hormiguero,” aka “The Anthill”. It’s the most fun a basketball player can have with a board game without organizing a living Guess Who? “Do you wear stupid glasses with no lenses?” “Yes.” “YOU’RE DWYANE!”

Important information about the weird puppets you’re seeing, courtesy of Ball Don’t Lie:

(Those puppets you see bopping in front of Rubio at the start of the video above are ants who live in the anthill. Their names are Trancas and Barrancas, apparently taken from the Spanish expression for “in fits and starts,” and now I want them on every American talk show.)

Hell, I’d watch an entire year of daytime TV just to see Steve Harvey get upset about them.

Anyway, this looks like a hell of a lot of fun and Rubio’s shot looks solid. He should spend September through October just showing up on different talk shows and game shows to beat the hosts at basketball-themed, giant-sized board games. He could destroy ‘The Price Is Right’ with that shot. Maybe beat Ellen at a game of Massive Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Bonus: Here are a few old Connect Four commercials, because why not?

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The sports world is abuzz with the news that a Magic-Johnson fronted group broke the dang old bank in order to purchase the Dodgers for over $2 billion, which is a figure so absurd that it may as well be written like a comic strip character says cuss words.

“Yes  Mr. McCourt, and our counter-offer is #!%*& dollars.”

Anyway, it’s no secret by now that Magic Johnson, while not a billionaire himself, is a mega-entrepreneur and philanthropist. Already in 2012, he’s bought a baseball team and announced he’s launching a television network. What’s next, a chain of restaurants that are like Applebee’s, but with edible food? A series of Wal*Mart-style superstores? It’s almost like he’s some kind of business wizard. Almost like he’s … gathering spectacular assets.

Wait a minute. Wizard … gathering … Magic … I think we may be on to something here, ladies and gentlemen. In the spirit of Magic Johnson’s spectacular purchase, I am pleased to present the nerdiest sequence of jokes to ever appear on With Leather. It is my pleasure to present to you a very special type of card game: a collectible one.

Faithful readers, I proudly present Magic Johnson: The Gathering.
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In direct emotional contrast to Lamar Odom watching Khloe Kardashian’s monster body collapse in a sex swing, here is an absolutely adorable video by way of The Basketball Jones of 3-year old Minnesota Timberwolves fan Chase explaining that his favorite player is Nikola Pekovic, he named his hamster Ricky Rubio and, in a total Chauncey Gardiner moment, says his favorite thing to do is watch.

I don’t blame him for loving Nikola Pekovic (his Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? Rockapella parody made him my favorite Timberwolf, too) or for the preciously affected way he named his pet. In retrospect I wish I’d named my hamster “Tim Hardaway” when I was younger instead of going for a dumb pun*.

And hey, with his aptitude at pronouncing “Nikola Pekovic” and signature sign-off, he’s ready for on-air duties about 35-years ahead of schedule. He’s probably already better at math than Martel Webster:

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Much to no one’s surprise, the Oklahoma City Thunder are currently the best team in the NBA, as Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook continue their strange “I’m not better than him but I’m secretly better than him” routine, and the Chicago Bulls and Miami Heat have all but locked up their eventual meeting in the Eastern Conference Finals. And as I pointed out yesterday, while I might be a little biased, the Orlando Magic’s incredible collapse is probably the most interesting story in the NBA right now.

Other than that, all eyes are on the trade mill, so essentially the Magic are the focus of everyone with Dwight Howard standing firm with his preferred teams of the Los Angeles Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, Los Angeles Lakers and New Jersey Nets. Of course he’s also said that he’d play for the Boston Celtics or Chicago Bulls, but it’s clear as day that he wants to play in New Jersey or Brooklyn or wherever, and Magic GM Otis Smith is way too stubborn to trade him, so Howard will most likely sign there as a free agent.

Everything else is pretty much business as usual. So let’s make fun of everyone, shall we?

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As my fascination with the mental capacity of NBA general managers continues, Minnesota’s David Kahn has once again excelled beyond the wildest imaginable possibilities. It was only last week that he traded the No. 6 overall pick from the 2009 draft, point guard Jonny Flynn, for 35-year old arthritic bag of bones center Brad Miller*, and then drafted Derrick Williams with the second pick in this year’s draft after he failed to trade the pick (or Michael Beasley) to a team that actually needed a young power forward. And to top it all off with a pair of solid gold Truck Nutz, Kahn actually tried to hire Mike Krzyzewski.

Talk about a waste of time. Coach K once turned down a chance to go to the Lakers and coach Kobe Bryant in his prime. Did Kahn really think that he could get Krzyzewski to leave his Duke kingdom? He did.

“He tried to get him,” said one Kahn confidante.

Kahn was looking for a miracle or two. The other miracle is turning Ricky Rubio into a first-rate NBA point guard. As he showed over the last two seasons in Spain, the T-Wolves’ No. 1 draft pick of 2009 can’t shoot consistently or beat people off the dribble. That was versus inferior competition in Europe. Now he’s supposed to be able to do those things against the top players in the world? (New York Post)

To be clear, Rubio averaged 4.8 points in the Spanish ACB League this season, and a whopping 6.5 per game in Euroleague. Did anyone really have to think very hard about why Rubio decided he suddenly wanted to come to the NBA? I’ll give you a hint – it rhymes with GIANT PAYCHECK. Wait, I suck at hints. Kahn, of course, also tried to trade for Steve Nash so he could spend his final days in the NBA as a mentor to Rubio instead of trying to win his own elusive NBA title with a team not run by the winner of David Stern’s “So You Think You Can GM” contest.

Regardless, the comedy of Kahn calling Coach K to coach the Wolves is absolutely priceless. I can practically hear it now…

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