By now, we all know that Tim Tebow was unceremoniously released by the New York Jets after what can best be described as one pooptastic season with the team. Tebow barely saw the field for anything other than punt protection, and the infamous New York sports media routinely gave him the business, as if he were the sole problem with the franchise.

However, lost in the debate as to whether or not the Jets made the right decision or if they did it with class that a gentleman like Tebow deserves is what truly mattered most – Tebow never claimed his free lap dance at Rick’s Cabaret. Obviously, our friends at Rick’s are quite bummed about this, but they’re still most concerned with Tebow’s future.

They are truly the most considerate women that I have ever known.

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With a little more than a week remaining until the 2013 NCAA Tournament tips off, it’s important for people to start determining where they will watch their favorite teams. Or in my case, I need to figure out where I’m going to pretend that I’m a huge Duke and/or Indiana fan, since my team decided to get banned from postseason play this year. Eh, who am I kidding? I pretend to be a Duke fan every year.

Anywho, as usual I am leaning toward watching sports in the comfort of my home away from home, Rick’s Cabaret in New York City. Some people may try to argue that I’ve never been to New York City and that I’m afraid of talking to women, but they’re just haters. Anyway, my girls at Rick’s are all fired up to watch Duke, Indiana or whichever team I end up cheering for win the NCAA Championship.

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If you weren’t aware that today is New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow’s birthday, then you probably haven’t turned on a TV or logged into Facebook or Twitter yet. (Side note: If that’s not your morning routine, you’re already my role model.) But yes indeed, friends, today is the day of birth for the Chosen Gun – trying out some new nicknames in case he ever becomes accurate – and we’re certainly not at a shortage of needlessly positive Tebow news or jokes that his birthday is actually December 25.

ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio is already salivating over the prospect of a Tim Tebow Wildcat system, even claiming that Tebow may be the greatest left-handed athlete of all-time. My grandmother always told me that hyperbole is the greatest gift. Meanwhile, Tony Sparano, that architect of all those amazing Miami *fart noise* Dolphins *fart noise* offenses, is keeping almost everything about his Wildcat a secret, because he wants it to take two weeks before defenses start stuffing Shonn Greene for no gain.

But today is about celebration for the world’s beloved Tebow, and I find there’s no better way to honor him than with a special tribute from our dear friends at Rick’s Cabaret in New York City, as they passed along a few special birthday pictures this morning. And to top it all off, I made Tebow a very special With Leather photoshop birthday card.

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"Congrats on that trophy, now get the heck out of my town."

Here’s an abridged version of the NBA offseason to date: The lockout changed nothing, owners didn’t learn, nor did they want to learn, because they’re still giving out awful contracts, and they just wanted to make sure they’d get more back from the league so they’d stop losing money. I think that pretty much sums it up, as the majority of teams’ decisions have been absolutely baffling to this point, including the situation of one Jeremy Shu-How Lin.

The decision could come today or it could be made on Wednesday, but either way, it appears that the New York Knicks are cutting ties with their out-of-nowhere phenom point guard, despite his incredible emergence last season and everything he instantly meant for Knicks fans. Oh, and there’s the matter of his marketability, too. But now it appears that the Knicks will not match the offer sheet that Lin signed with the Houston Rockets for 3-years, $25.1 million. The reason? It’s either because of the luxury tax or that Carmelo Anthony hates Lin. Regardless, Linsanity is probably goin’ to Texas, y’all.

Knicks fans are rightfully upset – and some realize it’s probably for the better – because Lin seemed like the positive alternative to the same old Knicks BS of superstar Anthony’s me-first attitude or signing Jason Kidd’s old balls – with a fresh DWI to add to the fun – so I called upon the greatest, most loyal Knicks fans that I know to tell us how they really feel. Take it away, exotic dancers of Rick’s Cabaret.

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Ladies, ladies, let's not fight over baseball.

Now that the NBA Playoffs are over, we can finally get back to what matters around here most – baseball and partially nude women. Thankfully, today I can bring you a story that involves both of these wonderful things, as our favorite exotic dancers at Rick’s Cabaret in New York City (use your judgment) took a moment to let us know their thoughts on this weekend’s Subway Series, with the red hot first place New York Yankees visiting the also-somewhat-hot second place New York Mets at Shea Citi Field.

I tried to ask the ladies their thoughts in person, but instead of questions like, “What do you think about the pitching matchups?” I just kept giggling like a child.

“We love the baseball guys, especially the Yankees” said Rick’s Cabaret Girl Christina. “I’ve met some of the Yankees here at the club, but I can’t tell you who. We protect everyone’s privacy here at Rick’s, she explained.

Let’s just assume she’s talking about David Aardsma. “Rehabilitation” my ass.

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To celebrate her 24th birthday and status as Penthouse’s June Pet of the Month, Alexis Ford invited more than a dozen of her peers to party with her at With Leather’s unofficial headquarters, Rick’s Cabaret, in New York City. You may know Ford from her work in such adult classics as This Ain’t Jaws XXX, Cheerleaders Academy 1 and 2, Women Seeking Women 55, Captive Costume Queens and, of course, Brave Businesswomen’s Bondage Peril. I own two copies of that last one.

And while Ford apparently forgot to send a couple of invites to us, her party was ultimately the place to be, as evidenced by a little birdie telling us that one professional baseball player was quite adamant about meeting the star of Squirt Girl.

Elise added, “There was a famous baseball player who started the night in the Champagne Lounge on Rick’s Cabaret’s first floor, and he heard about the party upstairs and asked if he could meet Ms. Ford. When he met her he gave her a loving bear hug and whispered something into her ear that made her smile.”

We asked Rick’s Cabaret New York spokesman Lonnie Hanover to identify the baseball player, but he declined, saying “We respect everyone’s privacy at Rick’s Cabaret.” (Our research shows that the Tampa Bay Rays were in town against the Yankees.)

“Rick’s Cabaret Girl Alundra purred, “I got to give the birthday girl a dance and it was a thrill. Alexis Ford is so sexy. I wanted to rip her clothes off.”

I just remembered that I forgot to get my morning coffee, but I’ll have to wait a few minutes for that now. In the meantime, we can play my favorite new game: “Which Baseball Player Snuck Into Alexis Ford’s Birthday Party?”

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