Patriots defensive end Richard Seymour was traded to the Raiders last week for that team’s 2011 first round draft pick, but still hasn’t reported to his new team. Because the Raiders suck. Actually, because Seymour wants more money:

“We have attempted to make a deal,’’ Cable told Bay Area reporters yesterday. “There are some issues still between him and the Patriots that are being worked out [and we’re] hoping that will be resolved as quickly as possible.’’

Patriots vice president of media relations Stacey James said last night he was unaware of any issues relating to the trade.

Cable relayed that he has spoken to Seymour and that Seymour told him he wants to play for the Raiders. via.

Technically, the trade isn’t officially final untl Seymour passes a physical. And I’m sure Raiders owner Al Davis performs those physicals himself. He’s a hands-on kind of guy. It saves him a lot of money, too. On trannies. Not doctors. I should have been more specific there.

Patriots defensive end Richard Seymour announced on WEEI that he now carries a second cell phone to interact with fans.

In a move at once perplexing and yet strangely commendable, the superstar defensive end has begun carrying a second phone that serves as his fan hotline. Just dial 401-464-1194, and there’s a chance the four-time All-Pro could answer…“It’s just my fan number,” he said. “It’s my fan hotline. They can call me. From time to time, I might let Rodney (Harrison) or Tom (Brady) answer, one of those guys. I thought it would be something fun for the fans to have.”

Yes, this is commendable… until you realize that these are New England fans we're talking about. I give it a week until he's like, "Fuck it, I'm not playing for these assholes" and demands a trade.

I was going to do some investigative reporting and call the number, but I left my phone in my bedroom. That's, like, a solid twenty feet away. Dealbreaker.

Wait. Dreamboat might answer the phone? Ummm… If you'll excuse me, I have work to do.