“I’ll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I’m a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better than when he sings ‘When a Man Loves a Woman’.” – Bob Slydell

Between that quote from Office Space and the infectious “Jack Sparrow” ballad collaboration with Andy Samberg and Lonely Island, crooner Michael Bolton’s legacy has been tarnished over the past decade and molded into some sort of a sick joke. The truth is that before this generation’s pop music corroded our airwaves and Pandora stations with Biebers and Gagas, Bolton was the powerful voice of adult contemporary love rock.

Bolton set the loins of many a future cougar ablaze with his incredible anthems like “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” (later famously covered by AC Slater and Jessie Spano as the soundtrack of the monumental Zack and Kelly breakup) and “I Said I Loved You (But I Lied)”, which when taken for just the title sounds like the meanest song ever. But what few people know or recall is that when Bolton wasn’t rocking the most romantic receding mullet of the 80s and 90s, he was actually tearing up softball fields from coast-to-coast.

While his softball prowess came to the nation’s attention as part of MTV’s iconic (and sorely missed) Rock N Jock series, it culminated with the incredible VHS instruction video – Michael Bolton’s Winning Softball. Eat your heart out, Tom Emanski.

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I don’t know what it is about fame that makes people think they can be musicians. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian made sex tapes to become famous, and then to maintain their celebrity statuses they decided to become pop singers. Plenty of actors have done it – Keanu Reeves, Gary Sinise, Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, to name a few – and God knows there are quite a few athletes who think they’re regular Scott Stapps. I’m no Darren Rovell, but I’m willing to guess that 99% of them have failed.

But for some mind-bending, unknown reason, becoming a music star has always been a favorite hobby of professional wrestlers and every single one of them that has tried it has been terrible. Sure, that’s personal opinion, but I’d love to know who I’m overlooking. In the meantime, I’m sure that I’ve overlooked plenty of the most terrible singing wrestlers, but I could only handle 15 videos in the YouTube wormhole before I was screaming in agony.

Witness the horror for yourselves and feel free to add your least favorite songs in the comments.

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Earlier today, Uncle Vinnie over at FilmDrunk introduced us to a vintage film that is near and dear to my heart, Miami Connection, which is about an 80s rock band that moonlights as ninjas in order to clean up the streets of Orlando and its terrible cocaine trade. And yes, I’m so amazingly pissed that I didn’t write that film.

Well, intrepid commenter Ace Rimmer doubled down on the amazeballs with a music video entitled, “The Karate Rap.” Apparently this holy-sh*ttingly incredible video has already made the rounds for the past few months, but I hadn’t seen it until today, and you get the point – it’s awesome.

Created by David Seeger and his wife, Holly Whitsock Seeger, “The Karate Rap” is a reminder that the Mayan calendar should have ended in 1987.

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When it comes to washed up 80s comedians, there’s not a guy I love more than Sinbad. For as hokey and gimmicky as he was, Sinbad was pretty damn funny, and I love that his career was painted with an exclamation point as perfect as Necessary Roughness. I am absolutely convinced that when he was called in for the script reading of that film, he was told: “You don’t have any lines, we were just hoping that you’d throw a bunch of slang out there and make black people want to see this movie.”

What I did not know, though, was that Sinbad was a basketball player at the University of Denver. I don’t know anything beyond that so I’m going to say that he led the team and conference in scoring with 69 points per game and he wore shiny track suits while he played. It just seems right.

(H/T to Storming the Floor)