After the jump, you’ll see that weird fumble from the Steelers-Dolphins game from yesterday. The result of the play appears to be a Ben Roethlisberger fumble and a Miami Dolphins recovery in the endzone, which would have been a touchback. Unfortunately for Miami, the head linesman couldn’t wait to signal touchdown, so the play was blown down and nobody bothered sorting out the pile on top of the ball, which was stupid.

Dolphins coach Tony Sparano challenged the ruling of touchdown, burning his last timeout. The touchdown was overturned, but Pittsburgh maintained the ball. Because they’re a bunch of cheaters, obviously. The Steelers kicked a short field goal for a one-point lead, and one could almost hear Bill Parcells ripping the doors off his refrigerator out in the distance.

Miami, needing a field goal to win, couldn’t convert a first down on their ensuing possession, and that was it. But still, the officials deserve the lion’s share of the blame here. But exactly how much is a lion’s share? I’ve never had to share anything with a lion, and even then I’d probably just let him have the whole thing. Except for Asian women. I don’t know why, but lions really hate Asians. Look it up. Read the rest of this entry »

Another sports website has obtained a copy of the book, Blowing The Whistle: The Culture Of Fraud In The NBA, written by former NBA ref Tim Donaghy. The book exposes some of Donaghy’s personal dirty laundry, including how he decided to bet on certain NBA games during his tenure there. But one of the lighter anecdotes in the book involves a bet that referees would make to see who could hold out the longest before calling the first foul of the game.

During one particular summer game, Duke Callahan, Mark Wunderlich, and I made it to the three-minute mark in the first quarter without calling a foul. We were running up and down the court, laughing our asses off as the players got hammered with no whistles. The players were exhausted from the nonstop running when Callahan finally called the first foul because Mikki Moore of the New Jersey Nets literally tackled an opposing player right in front of him. Too bad for Callahan-he lost the bet.

I became so good at this game that if an obvious foul was committed right in front of me, I would call a travel or a three-second violation instead. Those violations are not personal fouls, so I was still in the running to win the bet. The players would look at me with disbelief on their faces as if to say, “What the hell was that?”

Seriously, read the whole thing at Deadspin, and here’s hoping that the book actually sees the light of day. I mean, everyone knows that outcomes are fixed in the WWE and they seem to be doing pretty well. Besides, I’m pining for the day that Kevin Garnett finally smacks Bruce Bowen in the head with a steel chair.

UPDATE: This video was originally featured on WL here. Belated apologies for the repeat.

The late Red Auerbach might be the only guy that makes me want to not hate the Boston Celtics. Here we see him in this undated, new-to-me video of Red getting the redass about defensive players selling fouls to referees. And this was in the early 1970s. Vlade Divac would have been waterboarded within an inch of his life if he had played for this guy. You might have to adjust the wave bar on your audio controls to pick up the sound. Or buy a better hearing aid. Your call.

Marat Safin delivered a backhand return right into the net judge’s leathery face last night, or yesterday, or whenever it is that Australian Open matches are happening. Why does Australia have to be so far away and backwards and opposite. It’s day here, night there. Winter here, summer there. Cars travel on the right here, left there. I’m straight here, I crave men there. Wait, what?

After the jump, a ball boy suffers a similar fate at the racquet of Juan Martin Del Potro.

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Yesterday’s Niners-Rams game was so completely unexceptional and dull in every way that the only way the NFL could spice it up was to let the referees start actively hitting people, as umpire Garth DiFelice did when Kenneth Darby took a wrong turn in the middle of the field.

And of course I support this.  The only thing more enjoyable than a referee gumming up a play and tackling a football player is a referee gumming up a play and getting demolished by a football player.  Call me sadistic (my hookers certainly do), but I like it when the people without pads get run over.

The video is after the jump, but I’m not going to lie: it’s not quite as satisfying as the photograph.  I love a good knockout punch. Just another reason the NFL is better than boxing.

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Soccer’s not gonna win any American fans with this one.  This is Emerson Acuna of Colombia’s Atletico National, blatantly offsides, falling down without a defender anywhere near him.  And the referee awards him a penalty kick.

Having been a soccer referee before, I can assure you, the only possible way you can make such a horrible call is if you’ve been paid off in advance.  And keep in mind this is Colombia.  If you’re a soccer ref it’s only a matter of weeks until you get knifed anyway.  May as well make some cash before you go down.

[The Offside]