The best part of this Futsal argument escalating into a Muay Thai knockout (besides me learning what the hell “Futsal” is) is easily the YouTube commenter explaining his motivations:

This was in Russia , futsal 3rd division. I’ve asked the guy why he did that and he said he was pissed off because of the taunting on the missed tackle and being called gay.

I also would’ve accepted “he was told to stick a rubber hose up his nose so he shootkicked his opponent to death”. (via Sportress)

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Links

UFC 145: Jones VS. Evans Live-Blog With Vince Mancini And Danny Boy Downes This Saturday |With Leather|

Nike Bans Midnight Releases, Initiates Twitter RSVP Policy But Will It Help? |Smoking Section|

TV’s 20 Greatest Original (Non-Theme) Songs |Warming Glow|

We Handicap Some Joseph Gordon-Levitt “Dark Knight Rises” Rumors |Gamma Squad|

Move Over Rebecca Black, We’ve Got Hot Girl Problems |UPROXX|

Carnival is offering a Saw-themed cruise for torture-porn masochists |Film Drunk|

Meme Watch: Bad Luck Leo Is Here To Divert Your Attention From Leonardo DiCaprio Banging Models |UPROXX|

The Internet’s Obsession With Hologram Tupac Extends To An Amazing Video And All-Hologram Coachella Poster |UPROXX|

Esquire & Chrissy Teigen Create New Rules For Concert-Going |Smoking Section|

Supercut: Movie students giving dumbass answers |Film Drunk|

Jeremy Lin, Tim Tebow Part Of Time’s 100 Most Influential People In The World |With Leather|

Who Really Gives You The Best Value For Your Used Games? |Gamma Squad|

The Return of Bob Loblaw and More ‘Arrested Development’ News |Warming Glow|

Read the rest of this entry »

This is almost as good as the Sears Bed Intruder commercial.

Links

Black Friday - Jon Bois reflects on his time spent Shacking Radios on Black Friday. I was there for at least one of them. [JonBoisDotCom]

Good Gosh Almighty Joe Friday - The pro sports version of Gimme A Thumbs Up ‘Er Somethin’ Hot Rod. I’m going to try to talk like this every day. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Like Crazy Is The Movie 500 Days Of Summer Wanted To Be - That’s (500) Days Of Summer, thank you very much, and unless Like Crazy is an attempt to get me to love Zooey Deschanel with a Regina Spektor soundtrack, I’ll have to respectfully disagree. [Film Drunk]

Funny, Sexy And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week - …is won in a walk by the racially nonspecific Mortal Kombat girls. Hello, nurse. [Gamma Squad]

Politicians Are Horrible Late Night Guests - They are. If I had Michelle Bachmann on my talk show I’d intro her with WWE’s “Ass Man”. [Warming Glow]

Self Pop-Tart - Either the best or worst idea in the history of the Internet. I’m going to take one of these as soon as I figure out the logistics. [UPROXX]

CagePotato Ban: MMA Fans Fist-Posing for Photos With Fighters Et Al. - This guy doesn’t understand Worker Fist, or he’s never seen Rocky Balboa. So either he’s being a jerk, or I’ve got 200 pictures of me looking like an asshole with wrestlers. [Cage Potato]

Grantland Network Podcast: The Masked Man on the WWE Survivor Series - And speaking of me making Worker First, if you haven’t gone over to Grantland and listened to my appearance on Shoemaker’s podcast, do that now, and make sure to hassle him about how awesome I am and how he should always have me on. [Grantland]

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 29: John Hyperion II (The JoshiMania Episode) - More podcasts about wrestling. This one is about a niche concept show in a niche independent wrestling company on their offseason held like two weeks before Christmas. I don’t know, but I seriously almost buy a plane ticket every day. [The Wrestling Blog]

A Softer Worldmap - Here’s an old thing I used to do nobody liked. I’m forcing it on you. Sh*t, I still think it’s funny. [Progressive Boink]

Vanessa Hudgens Is The Best Lakers Fan Ever - And hey, be sure to get back into the groove of reading us, because we give you stuff like this. And this stuff is pretty good. [Brandon's Olde Fashioned Websight]

It’s a pretty standard feature, the collection of the worst national anthem performances of all-time, and most sports and pop culture blogs usually start running them out around Super Bowl time, unless there’s a surprise craptacular performance at an all-star game, NASCAR race, or drunken 4th of July party. But they’re just all so damned classic that we love re-living them every time.

That’s why I can’t believe that it took someone this long to finally put together a spectacular mash-up of the worst anthem performances in history. This new mash-up, brilliantly assembled by the fine folks at Popdust, has everything, like a Tosh.0 special episode – Roseanne, Carl Lewis, Christina Aguilera, the spectacular R. Kelly performance that is almost always excluded, and thank Francis Scott Key, they even included Fergie’s vocal disaster from last week’s Miami Dolphins game against the New England Patriots.

It is the perfect storm of patriotic suck and we salute it.

Read the rest of this entry »

In case you missed it during that weird period when a video goes viral and the person who made it gets butthurt and takes it down, then realizes it is their only shot at ironic fame and puts it back up so they can get on Tosh, please enjoy this video of University of Alabama Panhellenic Association Board combining their awful white teen girl powers to form some Godless approximation of musical Voltron. In layman’s terms, white girls are stealing from every culture imaginable, be it Greek to African-American to Internet, and they feel totally amazing doing it. Vince Mancini and Josh Zerkle gave the track (cough) a listen on the latest Frotcast, and it is my job to sorta shuffle it over here. Every day I’m shuffling.

Highlights include a namedrop of football coach Nick Saban, a big “ta-da” finish inside Bryant–Denny Stadium and a Rebecca Black remix, because that’s something people still think is funny. Who am I kidding, the only highlight is that you’re watching this and not one of the people in it.

From the Daily Mail:

The school’s media relations director, Cathy Andreen, told The Huffington Post: ‘It was supposed to just be to welcome the girls who were going out for Greek rush.’

Ashley Getwan, president of the Panhellenic Association at the university, said: ‘We didn’t realize it would get so much publicity… Any publicity is good publicity, we hope.’

CBS42.com reported that the school’s rush week has seen a record number of would-be pledges, with more than 1,700 and counting.

Counterpoint:

One YouTube commenter wrote: ‘This is f**king embarrassing. I love this school, but this is why people can’t stand these sh*theads.’

I’m going to throw in with the second guy.

By way of The Basketball Jones comes the debut rap video from Allen Samuels, a 30-plus-year casino host and 50-plus-year awkward white dude who had an epiphany whilst talking to a flamboyant Frenchman and transformed himself into the Baby Boomer Rebecca Black. “Livin De Life” chronicles Samuels’ rise from riches to additional riches and peppers itself with references to sports stars, Macbooked-in photo opportunities and a cameo from Jason Terry of the NBA Champion Dallas Mavericks. By the end of it you think A. Samuels is about as cool as you did when it started, but Terry … oh, Jason Terry. What are you doing?

I’m going to hope it’s one of those situations where Jason Terry wanted to get out of a casino debt, and this white guy wandered up and was all “you don’t have to pay anything if you say LIVIN DE LIFE into the camera and smile”. Like Leslie Knope having to say “Viva Chavez” to get money for her park.

You can watch the full-length video below. My favorite part is when he says he’s “living the life”.

I think his sweatshirt is pretty cool. The bigger, the puffier, the fluffier, the bigger the turtleneck the more gangster it is.

It’s just some fat girl walking in a swimsuit. I talk about basketball in a moment.

Sports

Dwight Howard Strongly Considering Playing Overseas - I wish I was famous enough to have this be a headline about me. “Brandon Stroud Thinking About Swimming In Mediterranean, Probably Won’t”. That would be so awesome. [Smoking Section]

Kenny Florian and JZ Cavalcante Want to Kick Each Others Stupid Nuts - I write a lot about pro wrestling so I can’t make a lot of gay jokes about something obviously not gay (nor should I make gay jokes about gay things, but work with me here). However, it would be nice if MMA guys were at least aware of how super gay they are when they say they want each others’ nuts. [Cage Potato]

The World Cup Truffle Shuffle Kid is My New Hero - Sometimes a sports story is so important it gets covered on the movie section of our network. This fat kid lifting up his shirt at the World Cup is one of those moments. [Film Drunk]

Al Michaels is a Man For All Seasons, So Long As There Are Four - I miss those days of childhood innocence where all the sports announcers seemed like cool guys who loved sports. I thought Craig Kilborn was so funny. Sigh. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

With Leather

The Best and Worst of WWE Money in the Bank 2011 - Before you read today’s Best and Worst of Raw, go back and read the more-or-less “Best and Best” recap of one of the best pay-per-views ever. If you don’t watch wrestling, this is a great place to start. That girl on the left is in it, and boy, is she just as awesome as she looks. [With Leather]

Kate Upton is a Chubbish Ball of Attainable Fat Lady - Okay, sorry for that hoggish monster in the intro video. We won’t be covering her again. Go here to see the last time we did, and suffer through 50 pictures of her before reading comments from cool guys with hot, skinny girlfriends who just don’t think she’s “all that”. [With Leather]

2011 Women’s World Cup in Pictures - And then, enjoy girls who are extremely fit! And one awesome kid who is not. [With Leather]

Punte Interviews Matt Cassel - My dumb wrestling recaps get a bunch of traffic that should go to stuff like this, where Josh talks to actual sports celebrities about things that matter. Like, uh, their abdominal muscles. Well, read it anyway. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Owling is the New Planking - The best thing about these dumb photo memes is that the people who do them have the attention span of a rake, so they stop doing them about two weeks in. I’m sure in two weeks owling will be out of style and Gilbert Arenas will be doing handstands and tweeting about how awesome they are. Do it, it’s called HANDING! [UPROXX]

At Long Last, The New Rebecca Black Single Has Arrived - And it’s about how famous she is! What’s with all these songs about people telling singers they’re never going to make it? Who does that? I’ve never gone to a concert and walked up to the musicians and said “man, you guys are just never going to sell a lot of albums”. [Uproxx]

TV’s 20 Most Punchable Faces - I’m still sad that any number of Parks and Recreation secondary characters I suggested didn’t make the list. Come on, Marcia Langman! She’s like Marcia Gay Harden in “Office” form! [Warming Glow]

Doritos Says Women Prefer Gaming to Sex - Why are we asking Doritos things? They’ve been trying to tell us “Cool Ranch” is a legitimate flavor for something to have for over 20 years. [Gamma Squad]