So, if this MMA show from Russia is something that is actually happening, I’d say we’re roughly five or maybe six years away from The Running Man becoming an actual TV show. And I, for one, think it’s about time. There are a lot of prisoners out there who deserve a second chance as our jails are wildly overcrowded, so if they can get past Dynamo, Subzero, Buzzsaw and Captain Freedom, then I say they deserve a shot at life outside of captivity.

Of course, they have to live in Canada, but either way I think this show has real staying power.

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Look at these two hockey bros. They’re everything that’s wrong with men today. They have a clear, open opportunity to beat each other’s faces into the cold, hard ice and they just spin around in circles like a couple of toothless dreidels. Their teammates should have just surrounded them and started snapping and hissing before they all broke out into song.

Whatever, this won’t ever happen in my new sport, Fight Ball. It’s like hockey but with no ice, sticks, pucks, clocks, referees, goals or gloves. It’s actually just two teams of five men fighting until only one person is left standing. That dude’s team wins. Oh, but then he gets fed to a shark. Anyway, tryouts are next week.

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