“Rapping Jerry Jones” in all caps was almost this entire post.

In the world of sports on the Internet, Jimmy Traina giveth, and Jimmy Traina taketh away. Sometimes he’ll tweet, “hey, I stumbled into Kate Upton’s dressing room and took 30,000 pictures, check this out” and links them because he’s him and she’ll be flattered or whatever. Then sometimes he tweets, “here’s Jerry Jones rapping”, and the exact opposite of that Kate dressing room dream happens.

But yeah, here’s Jerry Jones rapping. Apparently somebody at Papa John’s decided the way to get me to order their garbage pizza was to have a sexagenarian in the Buffalo Stance. It’s worth watching just to say you’ve seen it (and I’m shocked I haven’t seen it on TV down here yet), but it’s also worth watching for that two second clip of Jones remix jumping or whatever like he’s in a f**king 90s toy commercial.

Check it out below.

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"Stand up and clap or he will kill you."

New Jersey Nets owner, former Russian presidential candidate, and James Bond villain Mikhail Prokhorov has had a busy offseason as he attempts to bring the New Jersey Brooklyn Nets back to prominence in a city that is aching for NBA relevance. Despite not yet landing their beloved trade target Dwight Howard, the Nets made other big splashes by trading for Joe Johnson’s horrendous contract and re-signing Brook Lopez, Kris Humphries, Gerald Wallace, and, of course, Deron Williams.

But forget that the Nets basically just added Johnson to a 22-44 team – that also went 7-15 after acquiring Wallace last season – because with a new arena opening and new uniforms, this is a promising, exciting time for a team that many have considered the Clippers of New York for years. Prokhorov won’t let numbers or records stand in his way of having a good time and building his team’s buzz, either. He’s excited enough that he’s even promising to take the stage with Jay-Z and rap.

According to Mr. Prokhorov, a reprise is in the works, but this time in downtown Brooklyn, where Jay-Z will open the $1 billion Barclays Center with a series of sold-out concerts this fall. “Yes, I will rap at his concert,” Mr. Prokhorov informed Crain’s via email. “I am in rehearsals now 10 hours a day and plan to demand joint billing.” (Via Crain’s New York, H/T to SLAM)

Obviously people think he’s joking, but I can just imagine him in a top secret laboratory screaming at scientists to rush their development of a microchip that will make him the greatest rapper in the world. He doesn’t need it, though. He’s already proven that he’s rocking wicked MC skills on the mic.

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