While there are so many terrible examples from the past two decades, it should come as absolutely no surprise that a professional basketball player hasn’t learned that we don’t want to hear him rap. Next on the long list of NBA players turned terrible rappers is Delonte West, who is most famous for fighting his teammates, possibly sleeping with LeBron James’ mom, and absolutely nothing beyond that.

West’s debut album is aptly titled, “Lockout” and his first single is “Livin’ Life Fast.” I assume it’s about driving fast cars and talking so that people can’t understand you. Maybe it will unlock the mystery of West’s lip and why it looks like he’s constantly having an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. See for yourself after the jump, and don’t hate me for this.

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By way of The Basketball Jones comes the debut rap video from Allen Samuels, a 30-plus-year casino host and 50-plus-year awkward white dude who had an epiphany whilst talking to a flamboyant Frenchman and transformed himself into the Baby Boomer Rebecca Black. “Livin De Life” chronicles Samuels’ rise from riches to additional riches and peppers itself with references to sports stars, Macbooked-in photo opportunities and a cameo from Jason Terry of the NBA Champion Dallas Mavericks. By the end of it you think A. Samuels is about as cool as you did when it started, but Terry … oh, Jason Terry. What are you doing?

I’m going to hope it’s one of those situations where Jason Terry wanted to get out of a casino debt, and this white guy wandered up and was all “you don’t have to pay anything if you say LIVIN DE LIFE into the camera and smile”. Like Leslie Knope having to say “Viva Chavez” to get money for her park.

You can watch the full-length video below. My favorite part is when he says he’s “living the life”.

I think his sweatshirt is pretty cool. The bigger, the puffier, the fluffier, the bigger the turtleneck the more gangster it is.

When you’re an international hockey superstar whose hardest decision is which group of babes you’re going to party with tonight, what else is there for you to do? What’s the next medium you can conquer? How will people remember you, outside of your incredible ice moves? Alex Ovechkin has been plagued by such a circumstance, and has found the answer. Getting in the studio and recording a track for your smoke-show girlfriend.

Alexander Ovechkin recorded a song for his girlfriend, along with the artist Dzhigan of Black Star Inc. Russia’s forward wants to be a star not only on the ice. Very soon a real surprise is awaiting the true fans of hockey and the fans of rap. [In Soviet Union, song raps you. -Ed]

It is unlikely that the song that was co-created with artist Dzhigan of Black Star Inc. will appear on live radio, but hopefully it would seep into the internet.

The best hockey player is not giving the name of a lucky girl to whom he devoted his premiere creation, the 24-year-old hockey player only said that at this time it’s “all very serious.” –Alex Ovetjkin via Washington Post

Alex is a little late on coming out with the 2010 jam of the summer, but I’m still counting down the days until this track debuts. Only because I want to hear the track in Russian. Much like German, whenever someone’s speaking in Russian, it sounds like you could very easily get killed. That’s why Russian women sound so seductive. Death is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »