I am currently writing about sports from a hotel room in Philadelphia. My girlfriend graduates from Penn State this morning, and I’m in town to mark this very special occasion in her life. The reason I’m mentioning that here is because of the weird thing going on where I leave Texas and important things happen. The last time I left Texas for a few days, the Boston Marathons got bombed and a plant blew up near Waco.

Sometimes, great things happen. For example, I leave Texas for JUST A MOMENT and Norman The Scooter Dog has shown up to throw out the first pitch at a Texas Rangers game and be a dog who rides around on a goddamn scooter all day. Motherf**ker.

Rangers Ballpark in Arlington will be filled with the sounds of cracking bats and barking dogs this evening, as the Texas Rangers hold their annual Bark in the Park event at the stadium.

People can dress their dogs in their best Rangers gear and strut it out on the field during a pre-game parade. The top five best-dressed pooches get a prize. (Registration has already closed for Bark in the Park, so if you haven’t registered, don’t just show up at the ballpark with your dog.)

This year, the event gets a little twist, as Norman, a multi-talented dog who stars in the Hallmark Channel series ‘Who Let the Dogs Out,’ will “throw” the ceremonial first pitch. (via Whatever)

If you aren’t as familiar with Norman as I am, yes, you read that correctly: Norman is a dog who rides scooters and shit, but he is also the star of a Hallmark Channel show named after the Baha Men. Who has the HALLMARK CHANNEL, anyway? That network should just be stillframes of greeting cards and puppet shows with Hummel figurines.

Deadspin has a clip of Norman scootering around the park, which is enough to make me angry at my absence, but I can’t wait to see him throw out the first pitch. I’ll update with video of that as soon as its available.

Until then, please enjoy this Friday-friendly assortment of Norman videos. You’re welcome.

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Major League Baseball missed out on a marquee Justin Verlander/C.C. Sabathia pitching match-up in game one of the ALDS because of a botched weather forecast, then suffered through two rain delays in the fifth inning of Saturday night’s ALCS game one in Texas. Commissioner Bud Selig and team representatives went into discussions about Sunday night’s ominous forecast and, not taking into consideration that it has rained exactly one time in Texas since 1985 and that was Saturday, postponed the game about five hours before the first pitch.

Texas Rangers president Nolan Ryan, a guy who I’m sure has kept cattle from herding off a cliffside during a thunderstorm at least once in his life, explains the call:

“With the forecast that we had … we didn’t want to experience what we did last night; and with the forecast for this evening, it appears that it’s going to be duplication of what we saw last night,” Rangers president Nolan Ryan said. “I think the one thing we’re concerned about is the integrity of the game and not [putting] either team in a situation where possibly the elements could affect the outcome of the game.”

By the time the game had been scheduled to start, the weatherman was calling for a “mostly cloudy” night with a 10% chance of rain. No rain had fallen for three hours, and there was no rain in the area an hour later. The grounds crew left a sad, dry tarp on the diamond as the reality sank in — Major League Baseball had just postponed a playoff game because it might have rained. At no point did Justin Verlander speak up and explain that God was just trying to tell him to knock it off.

I’m sure there was a lot going on behind the scenes. I’m sure the MLB didn’t want to inconvenience FOX Primetime by making them play old episodes of This Week In Baseball or re-runs of The Fresh Prince like TBS does when it rains too much, and sure, when you’re playing a string of important games you don’t want your guys trudging through mud and soggy grass. At the same time, one of the enduring images of sports is warriors battling the elements, powering through snow and torrential rain to prove their might, and what does it say about modern day baseball when dark clouds make two entire teams and a league go “welp, pack it in, too dangerous”?

Anyway, take a look at a few shots from the non-event, and compare/contrast them to Hurricane Katrina pictures at your leisure.

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