After taking a year off because none of the teams that he wanted to play for wanted to sign him, 35-year old wide receiver Randy Moss is back in the NFL thanks to a 1-year contract he signed with the San Francisco 49ers yesterday. Moss was immediately eager to speak about anything and everything, especially all of the things that the terrible, unfair media has blown up over his 13-season career, including… hey man, he’s just here to play this game that he loves and, good lord willing, help this team win.

More than anything, he looks forward to helping the 49ers young receivers get better, which Vernon Davis would probably appreciate so he can take a breather here and there.

“I think, not just Crabtree, but it’s a young group of guys. And there’s a saying I have: ‘I like what I can do for the NFL. I don’t like what the NFL can do for me.’ I’ve loved the game of football. For me to be able to start at a young age and play Pop Warner football and have my dreams come true to become a professional football player. I like what I’m able to give back to football and the NFL. If those guys are willing to accept me as a teammate, come here and make this thing happen, then I’m ready to give back anything I have: my knowledge, my work ethic and all of the above. I look forward to going out and working with these young guys, and coaches included.” (Via 49ers Talk)

I would have loved to see the chorus of eyebrows raising in the room when he mentioned work ethic, but I’m willing to give a guy a 4th chance, especially when he’s just so damned entertaining. But a lot of people don’t share that outlook on the man they call the Real Otis, so of course people are going to keep calling his reputation into question.

Harbaugh has made so much about the team concept and blue-collar mentality with the 49ers. How much did he talk to you about coming into the locker room and fit in and be another one of the guys?

Moss: “Well, the thing about me being here is they’ve done their research on me. And I think when it comes to the world-wide sports media, I’ve gotten a bad rap. They’ve done their homework on me or they wouldn’t have brought me in here.”

Why do you say you’ve gotten a bad rap?

Moss: “I’m just saying, more of not being a team player and things like that. I really don’t want to get into that because that’s not what I’m here for. I think that one thing I’d like the sports world to understand is the love and the passion I have for the game of football. I think every player wants to win and every organization wants to win.”

And maybe he’s right. After all, Jeff Fisher had nothing but high praises for Moss, even after he was completely worthless in the Tennessee Titans’ offense in 2010. Or maybe teams are just content with giving the guy a chance to come in and score touchdowns. Either way, it could be much worse for Moss.

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Taiwan’s Next Media Animation has been in a bit of a slump lately, but they’ve followed up their disappointing, wordless Austin Powers-esque recap of Kate Upton’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover and incessant videos of Jeremy Lin on fire with this masterful retelling of Randy Moss’s 35th birthday and the UStreamed intentions to return to the NFL that followed.

The obvious highlight here is Michael Vick throwing touchdown passes to Moss in prison, but don’t sleep on him destroying a referee’s fine with a giant baby bottle that looks and works like the gun from Portal.

Oh, and in case you were wondering:

There’s something a little concerning about two Taiwanese ladies animating themselves high-fiving and cheering “yayyy!” after they’ve just made a video about how black people are crybaby prisoners, but I’ll let it slide.

… or “Randy Being Randy”.

Jerry Rice was never lazy. Even his idea of retirement hasn’t been lazy; he puts more work into out-foxtrotting Master P than I’ve put into anything in my life. So it makes sense that when asked about Randy Moss on ESPN Radio, the greatest wide receiver of all time would take personal offense to a guy who could’ve been even better had he ever woken up on time, tied his shoes properly or given a sh*t. Via a transcript of the appearance courtesy of Pro Football Talk:

“It was hard for me to swallow because I was not as talented and I had to work harder. To see a guy with that much talent not give it 100 percent, it was almost like a little slap in the face. But Randy was Randy.

“He could have been one of the greatest if he had worked just a little bit harder. I don’t think he wanted to give it 100 percent. You never knew what you were going to get with Randy. Sometimes you’d get the unbelievable guy, the amazing guy. Other times you’d get the guy that took a couple plays off.”

It’s an understandable beef, understandable to the point of being indisputable, really, because who hasn’t dogpiled on Randy Moss about being lazy at this point? And I’m sure they don’t have anything to do with Rice being brought on by ESPN as an NFL analyst or ESPN’s incessant need to say controversial things to make news about people who play sports. I came [ ] this close to getting a job at ESPN by sending them 30,000 words about how stupid Tom Brady’s hair looks. They asked me to write something about Brett Favre’s stop-and-go retirement and I choked. I mean, what could one possibly say about that?

Anyway, best case scenario is that in ten years Rice is still the greatest WR ever and makes chuckleface on ESPN every Sunday afternoon, and Randy Moss gains 50 pounds and tells himself how good he could’ve been in the dressing room mirror.

Former Tennessee Titans wide receiver Randy Moss announced via his agent yesterday that after 13 seasons he has retired from the NFL. Or you could perhaps say that no teams wanted to bother with the 34-year old pain in the ass anymore. Either way, one of the most exciting, explosive, and maddeningly arrogant athletes to ever play pro football is done.

Now the poets of the printed word can spend the next few months celebrating or denigrating the man who once gloriously disgusted Joe Buck. Peter King called him a first ballot Hall-of-Famer while Michael Rosenberg asks the standard questions. Mike Florio gave Moss the clap. I mean, 10 claps. And you can be sure that the rest of the cliche clan will be close behind.

Too bad it’s all premature.

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Below is a video of Randy Moss talking to incarcerated kids at the West Virginia Industrial Home for Youth. Your first impression of that sentence might be “so what, is this like Michael Vick going into a Petsmart and telling pet owners not to roll their dogs in glass,” but I don’t want to go there. At least, not all the way there. Moss is doing a good thing by talking to these kids, and from the video he appears to have reached the point in his life where he’s going to be a sane, rational grown up. Good for him.

Of course, I’ve never understood the “who better to talk to kids about poor choices than somebody who has made so many of them” talking point, as I would much rather hear about it from someone who figured it out beforehand and didn’t have to beat his girlfriend or sh:t-talk the Marshall plane crash first. But I also don’t think being good at football should excuse you from rolling your pets in glass and setting them on fire, so I might not be on the wavelength of your average at-risk football teen.

In all seriousness, more athletes should participate in programs like these, and fewer in programs where they try to out-dance Kendra Wilkinson.

[H/T Last Angry Fan]

After watching his team collapse against division rival Green Bay at home yesterday, Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress has been dismissed from that position according to FOX Sports’ NFL Insider and MMA Trainer To The Stars Jay Glazer. Defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier will take the reins for the last six games of the season.

After watching Brett Favre struggle under center for most of the season, the team’s acquisition of (and quasi-surreptitious dismissal of) Randy Moss from New England, and the team’s dismal 3-7 record (0-5 on the road), the writing was on the wall for Childress, who seemed to be on the hot seat since his very arrival to Minneapolis in 2006. Despite having won the NFC North for two consecutive seasons, Childress was never popular with the city or even his team.

This begs the question of whether or not Brett Favre will make his 295th consecutive regular-season start in DC against the Redskins on Sunday. Considering the change in coaching to Frazier and the possible future of the franchise in Tarvaris Jackson waiting in the wings, one would be advised to take Wesley Snipes’
advice and bet on black. But Snipes is in jail now. So there’s that.