So, you guys ever gonna do a News Radio reunion show?

The sport of mixed martial arts saw its own iteration of “Age in the Cage” at UFC 102 on Saturday when 33-year-old Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira took on 46-year-old legend Randy Couture in Portland Saturday. Couture was overpowered by the enormous Brazilian in the three-round bout, but went the distance as Nogueira pulled out a unanimous decision. I pulled out yesterday also, but that’s a story for another time, kids. Hey, who wants ice cream?

Of the 11 fights on the card, three fights were settled in 1:35 or less, including Todd Duffee’s seven-second bashing of Tim Hague, who caught a left hand with the wrong part of his face [video]. But even that fight couldn’t win the $60,000 Knockout of the Night bonus, which went to Evan Danny Bosephus Nate Marquardt, who stopped Demian Maia in 21 seconds. That’s like three times as long! Lazy. Full results. Payouts.

Despite losing, Couture already has re-upped with UFC in a deal will see the former Oklahoma State wrestler finish his career with the promotion with whom he walked out on less than two years ago. Couture actually sent a letter to Dana White in October 2007 resigning as heavyweight champion after “swimming against the current with the management of the UFC.” He probably just wanted an office with a window. It’s those little things that make the workday more bearable. Read the rest of this entry »

Here is Ryan Couture, son of MMA legend Randy Couture, who I still have a hard time not thinking of as “Randy Fashion.” It’s the name, I guess. Anywoo, we’re told that this it Ryan’s MMA debut in Vegas against Jimmy Spicuzza, which literally means “half Mexican, half hottub.” Hopefully, that seemed less slurry in italics. Anyway, skip to the 5:30 mark for the start of the fight, or pop it about a minute past that to see the armbar that leads to Spicuzza tapping out. Leave it to MMA to go from totally homoerotic to elbow-dislocatingly awesome in the blink of an eye. Usually I have to pay fifty bucks and get blindfolded for that kind of action. It’s the same as a pay-per-view, but instead of inviting friends over, you just cry yourself to sleep and think about pressing charges. via.

The other day a friend of mine asked, “How is Randy Couture vs. Brock Lesnar the biggest fight in UFC history?”

My answer: in terms of talent it’s not, it’s just really easy to hype. You’ve got your 45-year-old hall of famer who everyone loves vs. a freakish homophobic redneck meathead with a big cock tattooed on his chest who everyone hates.  Guys like Brock Lesnar are pretty much the reason martial arts were invented in the first place. It’s basically good vs. evil.  And even if you don’t buy into all that, who cares?  It’s still a fight.  I’d watch two hoboes fight (though I recommend attaching razor blades to their forelimbs to make it more interesting).

It all goes down tomorrow at 10 ET, live from Las Vegas, and if you don’t want to spring for the PPV, there’s a list of bars and sportsbars that will be showing it here.  I’m Vince from FilmDrunk, and I’ve got your full run down of the fights after the jump (clothing optional).

Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday, UFC president Dana White dropped a bombshell of awesome: Randy Couture, the estranged heavyweight champion who retired over pay and scheduling quarrels, will return to fight behemoth man-freak Brock Lesnar in UFC 91.  Without delving into too much hyperbole, it’s going to be the greatest thing of all time ever.  Better than robots, and sex, and robot sex.  Combined!

White is moving UFC 91 from Portland, Ore. to Las Vegas because this is the sort of fight that has to happen in Sin City.  Preferably on a dais made of skeletons hovering over an open fire.  The date is November 15th.  If you’re doing anything else but watching two gigantic men punch and kick and elbow the shit out of each that night, there’s really no way we can be friends.

Unsilent Majority, sex maniac, Jew, and basketball aficionado, sends us this: Donyell Marshall hadn't played in over two months, so one might be inclined to cut him some slack when he accidentally pulled off his game jersey with his warmups when he finally got back into action. Marshall's gaffe left the Cleveland bench in stitches, probably because he has a horrible upper body.

Look for The Big Lead to anoint Marshall the Clown Prince of Basketball. 

- Monday Morning Punter

[TrueHoop]

Saturday night I shelled out some of my hard-earned blog earnings for 2.5 hours of open bar and the UFC fights.  And while we didn't get to see the Babalu-David Heath bloodbath that left the Octagon stained the rest of the night (side note: apparently Heath had earlier worn a tee-shirt that had a picture from Babalu's DUI arrest on it), I did get to see George St. Pierre work over Josh Koscheck before 44-year-old Randy Couture inexplicably defended his heavyweight title against Brazilian brawler Gabriel Gonzaga. 

But Couture didn't just run a clinic on one of the baddest men on the planet (who's 16 years younger than he is) — he did it with a broken arm.

Couture sustained the injury Saturday blocking a Gonzaga right high kick with his left forearm, cleanly separating the ulna bone with a “nightstick fracture,” a break common in law enforcement circles. The injury placed the UFC heavyweight champion’s arm in a splint for six weeks. The appendage will not need a cast. “It’s not displaced, so the doctors think it will reattach in about a week and a half,” said Couture.

You know what would be an awesome TV show?  Randy Couture kicking Bear Grylls's ass.  Every week, Grylls could get dropped off in the middle of nowhere, with no sustenance besides what the show's producers give him between takes, and nothing nicer than a two-star hotel to sleep in.  Then Couture comes onscreen and kicks his ass. 

Okay, so I haven't really worked out the details yet, but I'd definitely get lots of tight shots of Bear crying.

[FanHaus]