"So we meet again."

With what is believed to be his final UFC (or possibly any) fight behind him, Rampage Jackson isn’t really going out the way that he, or any fighter, would have liked, as Glover Teixeira played patty-cake with his face enough to get the W at last week’s UFC on FOX 6 event. So like any pissed off employee on his way out the front door, Jackson was quick to wipe his dirty boots all over Dana White’s couch, and he sat down with Karyn Bryant – yes, the same Karyn Bryant (above) whom Rampage previously motorboated – to discuss his deepest feelings about the promotion that made him a household name.

Most notably, Jackson accused White and the UFC of lying about PPV numbers so they could justify paying the fighters less and boosting their own paychecks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Thanks for joining us with preliminary action already in progress for tonight’s free UFC fight, AKA UFC on FOX 6 at 8 PM ET. My apologies for the delay, but I’m having some technical difficulties with my sinuses and let’s just say some boogers are throwing knees at my brains right now. Sexy, right? Right. Let’s get on with the chatty action, shall we?

Tonight’s fight should be a doozie, with the main main event featuring Demetrious Johnson defending his Flyweight championship against John Dodson in what promises to be one hell of an exciting fight between two guys who are much, much skinnier than me. In the other main event, Rampage Jackson makes his return to the octagon to fight Glover Texeira, and let’s just say that the man who brought B.A. Baracus to the big screen is less than excited about tonight’s fight. He’s basically just doing this to earn some extra coin, and that’s a little depressing. But I guess that’s the nature of the beast or something.

Other than those matchups, tonight’s card looks pretty strong, and you can read our own Lobster Mobster’s excellent UFC on FOX 6 primer at her blog. As always, thanks for joining us, and enjoy the free fights.

Read the rest of this entry »

So far, our coverage of sports-related instances of ‘Gangnam Style’ has been light. I couldn’t resist writing about the Oregon Duck’s version (because it is awesome), but I’m not quick to relive the ‘Call Me Maybe’ parody and tribute video terrors of the spring and summer.

That said, here’s Gangnam Style Rampage Jackson.

Funny enough, this clip of Jackson doing Psy’s signature horsey dance contains less air humping than a normal Rampage interview. If you need more backstory than “everybody loves that song and Rampage will do anything for attention”, here’s a recap from Maggie Hendricks over at Cagewriter:

Jackson had communicated with Psy via Twitter, telling him he’s working on the dance that has become a viral sensation. He also said he was practicing the dance by himself when a teammate walked in. Awkward!

Skip to the 1:15 mark in the video to check out the dancing. Ariel Helwani’s a much better interviewer than me, I would’ve just stood up and flipped the table.

Read the rest of this entry »

What you’re supposed to get from watching this video: Bobb Sapp is fighting Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12.

What you actually get from watching this video: A sinus headache, followed by the assumption that Bob Sapp is a megalomaniacal Japanese super villain who can’t properly eat eggs, can punch a pillow so hard it explodes and stole his best trash talking bits from that part in The Goonies where Corey Feldman puts his tongue through a painting. Also, he’s fighting someone named Mario.

Of course, no matter how dumb this video is (or how sad Bob Sapp gets, because seriously, all I see when I look at him now is two minutes of Bobby Lashley throwing humping elbows) it’s an episode of ‘Cosmos’ compared to that horrible “how to rape a lady and get your dick bitten by a transsexual” thing Rampage Jackson pulled last week. It’s easier for me to accept the “it’s just a joke” defense when it’s a guy biting eggs and laughing like M. Bison.

And here I thought a parody of the Brady Bunch theme was how they’d make me an MMA fan.

Please enjoy this Japanese promo for UFC 144: Edgar Vs. (Florence?) Henderson, which combines South Park’s “Let’s Fighting Love” with animated fight footage and some tried-and-true anime tropes — giant eyes, speed lines and ring girls straight out of Magic Knight Rayearth.

The nerd in me wishes they’d subbed in Lord Il Palazzo for Dana White and maybe had Brock Lensar slowly fill with light and explode when Alistair Overeem kneed him in the spleen, but whatever. I’m just happy with the accuracy of “protect my balls” UFC interviews and Rampage Jackson in the locker room with a couple of 11-year olds.

[via YouTube user UFCStannFan1]

“BEWARE LEST YE BECOME THE CURTIS PAINTED” – Jon Bois

Links

Fetushead Cannibalism Creates Possibility For Perfect Fat Hump Story - Headlines like this make me want to write for KSK so bad. The Colts keep getting better, and the only thing funnier than Brett Favre showing up to right the ship would be Curtis Painter continuing to exist. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

UFC 135: Jones Vs. Rampage Aftermath - Jon Jones “Bones” “Jones” is awesome, if only for the parade of weirdly racist comments that accompany him wherever he goes. You’d think racist people wouldn’t get upset at a black guy having confidence and being good at fighting, but here we are. We are a nation of Jeffs Dunham. [Cage Potato]

She Got Her Nails Did: The Finger Nail Retrogame Art Of Maya Pixelskaya - As long as nobody grows her nails out to 10 feet long and takes pictures for a This Week In WTF World Records, I’m cool with this. [UPROXX]

Blinky In Ink: ‘The Simpsons’ Famous Mutant Fish In The Flesh - For the longest time I wanted to get a Worker and Parasite tattoo. Still might. [Gamma Squad]

Confession: I Didn’t Hate ‘Whitney’ - Matt, I don’t think we can be friends anymore. /laughtrack [Warming Glow]

Black Star & Common Perform “Respiration” Live In Chicago - Look at this brutish thug, Common! I hope nobody ever lets him visit the White House! He’s a thug! [Smoking Section]

Lewis Black Killed On The Chaz Bono/DWTS Controversy - I don’t normally like Lewis Black a lot (outside of doing a pretty funny impression of him), but he absolutely murdered this. I still think the controversy around Chaz Bono being on Dancing With The Stars should be that Chaz Bono is not a f**king star. [UPROXX]

Simon Pegg Continues To Be Awesome - His best performance is still as a guard in the Maths episode of “Look Around You”. Best show ever. [Film Drunk]

Alex Morgan, Hope Solo And Women’s Soccer Still Being A Thing - Tossing this in here in case you missed it on Friday. These women are good at sports and attractive in important ways and you should support them. By, uh, looking at my gallery. [With Leather]

Porkins Finally Gets His Due In These Totally Real Star Wars Blu-ray Deleted Scenes - I hope there are some scenes where Boba Fett takes off his helmet and sounds like Charles Nelson Reilly so I can forget about Star Wars forever. [Gamma Squad]

10 Things You Didn’t Know About “Dazed and Confused” - Did you know? Milla Jovovich made out with me during the production of the film and I convinced her not to appear in 2,000 action movies between the years of 2000 and 2011. Three Musketeers never happened. [Buzzfeed]

Sly Stone Is Living in a Van - Now, Sly Stone is probably asking himself, “Hey, Matt, how can we get back on the right track?!” [FARK]