Here’s a terrific video that puts YOU IN THE COCKPIT of a rally car as it wipes out on the very first lap and crashes into a tree, with a branch nearly impaling the driver. Hehe, cock…pit. Skip to the 1:00 mark if you’re in a hurry, but I recommend watching the whole thing. The first minute of non-crashing really gives it a terrific buildup. Like the plaque on your mom’s teeth. No wonder her breath is so bad.

|Total Pro Sports|

We’ve long had a love affair with rally races, which is a polite way of saying that they’re an excellent source of stupendous crash videos.  And who doesn’t love the sexual arousal adrenaline kick that you get from watching a violent car wreck?

The video above (via Total Pro Sports) is of Finland’s Jari-Matti Latvala, who went over a barrier and rolled close to twenty times until finally coming to a halt almost 500 feet away from the track above during an April 3rd race in Portugal.  It looks pretty dramatic, but both Latvala and his navigator escaped without serious injury.  Now that’s what I call a wild “Finnish!”

The door?  Over there?  That’s okay, I’m used to showing myself out.

At a rally race in France, this team suffered a setback when their throttle cable snapped, leaving the car stranded on the side of the road.  In the most sensible move imaginable, the driver climbed out, crawled onto the engine bay, and operated the throttle with one hand while holding the hood down with his other so his navigator could steer them to the next checkpoint.

That’s what I like about Europe.  In America there are all these things about safety.  Warning signs, speed limits, Don’t Do This, Smoking Is Bad For You, Chainsaws Should Not Be Used on Cats, blah blah blah.  Europe, man — that’s some laissez faire shit.  The whole continent is like a haunted abandoned warehouse.

Video (from Axis of Oversteer via TSB) is after the jump.

I was trying to hail a cab recently when I saw a T-bone car crash right in front of me.  And some tightass thought I was a bad person because the first thing out of my mouth was, "So am I the only one with a boner?"  My point is, after this morning's amazing bicycle-clearing car wreck photo, this may be the sexiest day this website has ever known.

Here's the Santiago Times on the erotic video above:

Race-car driver Jordi Serón knocked down eight spectators Sunday during the Valdivia Rally. An 11-year-old girl and a 22-year-old man were severely injured. Serón is well known for his racing success and addiction to speed, and did not stop his car after running over the spectators. “I am not worried about what happened,” he said later. “Things like this often happen in this sport. I have nothing else to say for the moment.”

Right on, Jorgi.  I saw the way they were dressed.  They were totally asking for it.  You don't go out to a rally and stand on a corner just to watch the cars go by.  Oh no.  Subconsciously, they wanted it.

(thanks to Angel Eyes van Cleef)

I'm sure nobody got hurt. 

I know, I know… that's a huge tease, right? Enjoy a spectacular payoff after the jump.

Ahhhh… much better. For the reverse angle of this one, check out Carscoop.