Funny how just yesterday I was complaining that I needed something to jumpstart my NBA excitement, and then one of the greatest imaginable fights breaks out between two guys who couldn’t be more disliked. In one corner, wearing flat black and silver with an open mouth and confused face, Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries was last year’s most hated player in the NBA, according to fans. In the other corner, wearing green and the ugliest scowl this side of Rosie O’Donnell, Boston Celtics guard Rajon Rondo is universally loathed in every city not spelled B-O-S-T-O-N. And last night, they GOT. IT. ONNNNNNNNN!

The action took place in the second quarter, when Kevin Garnett, guarded by Humphries, took an off-balance shot and ended up on the floor. Rondo didn’t like that very much, so he reacted like an adult and shoved Humphries into the first row of courtside seats. Then, as any mature professional athlete would do, Rondo started scratching and clawing at Humphries while their teammates tried to break it up. Oh, and the Nets won 95-83. That should probably be mentioned.

Go make some popcorn and check out the video after the jump. All it’s missing is Brittney Palmer.

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Despite me watching it last night, the NBA posted its new “BIG Color” commercial on YouTube today to celebrate both the holiday season and the surprisingly plain jerseys that some teams will be wearing on Christmas day. As we already know, the Christmas day NBA schedule looks like this:

Boston Celtics at Brooklyn Nets
New York Knicks at Los Angeles Lakers
Oklahoma City Thunder at Miami Heat
Houston Rockets at Chicago Bulls
Denver Nuggets at Los Angeles Clippers

It’s a regular potpourri of games that we both care and don’t care about. Thanks NBA! But back to the uniforms and commercial at hand. The BIG Color commercial features four of the league’s most recognizable stars and Joe Johnson, as they bounce their jingle balls in rhythm to the tune of “Carol of the Bells”. For what it is, it’s a simple but cool spot that doesn’t play any favorites, except that 25 teams are left out of the fun. But that’s their fault for stinking.

Check out the commercial after the jump, as well as some special holiday cheer commentary from my favorite and most intelligent people on the Internet – YouTube commenters.

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Here’s a quick list of the worst things an athlete can do with his money during or after his professional career:

1. Fund an energy drink business
2. Make a mobile gaming app

“Get divorced because you can’t stop sleeping with strippers” is a solid number three. Anyway, free agent point guard Baron Davis tore is MCL and ACL in a Knicks game back in May, so he’s used a chunk of that 12-month recovery time to spearhead Getting Buckets, a … ugh, mobile gaming app that features basketball players doing basketball things, but nobody actually playing basketball. Not too late to make Getting Buckets an energy drink, Baron.

Getting Buckets is first gaming app from 5 Balloons Interactive, a collaboration between NBA basketball player and businessman Baron Davis and 15 year interactive entertainment producer, Sean O’Brien, which includes Baron, Steve Nash, Rajon Rondo, Brandon Jennings and Candace Parker. It is a 3D endless runner like you have never seen before routed in the sport and culture of basketball.

Because it’s routed in the sport and culture of basketball, Getting Buckets lets your character be a basketball player and hold a basketball while running down a city street, doing power slides under construction barriers, jumping over cars and collecting orange cans with ‘No Fear’ eyes on them forever for no reason. I thought they were cheeseburgers at first. Can I just put on a headband and play the race states in Battletoads instead?

I don’t write for Gamma Squad and have no real qualifications to talk about video games beyond “I’ve played a lot of them because I haven’t ever been cool”, but man, when did everything start looking like a shitty thing to do between rolls in Mario Party? Getting Buckets doesn’t need a junction system or class upgrades or whatever, but it’s 2012, guys. Our phones can do so much more than “Mario sliding down an incline and jumping to get coins, but non-stop until you put it down”.

And for the record, my favorite endless-runner is Wind Waker.

[h/t Sportress Of Blogitude]

Last week, I was giddy like a school girl when I saw that Jack McBrayer, AKA Kenneth from my favorite show, “30 Rock”, was following me on Twitter, because as someone who watches roughly 4-6 episodes of “30 Rock” each day, that would be pretty cool. Of course it was a fake account, with someone just pretending to be McBrayer, which led a few of us to wonder, “Who the f*ck pretends to be Jack McBrayer?” And the moral of this edition of #CoolStoryBro is that people on Twitter are f*cking weird.

Case in point, yesterday there were two huge “rumors” that blew up on Twitter regarding NBA Draft news. The first came yesterday afternoon via a Tweet:

Upon first glance, you’re probably thinking, “Holy crap, are the Celtics out of their f*cking minds?” And a lot of people thought that, because it was retweeted more than 1,100 times. But if you’re more adept and you actually read stuff before reacting, you’ll notice that A) Chris Broussard’s name is misspelled, and 2) the real Broussard has almost 500,000 followers. You’d think it would be pretty obvious.

But it wasn’t, as the rumor spread so far, so fast that it actually became a news story in Boston. People were ready to rip Danny Ainge’s body to pieces and send them to the corners of Massacusetts as a warning.

To quote the legendary rap group Onyx, B-B-B-BUT WAIT IT GETS WORSE!

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Da’Shaun Butler was out last night with Rajon Rondo, presumably telling him how awesome he is, while they watched the team that drafted Butler blow a double digit lead to the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game 1 of the NBA Finals. But the Miami Heat were hardly the biggest problem of Butler’s and Rondo’s night.

As you can see in the image above, someone’s Cadillac Escalade got a boot on it. According to Butler, that’s Rondo’s SUV and he’s a total dipsh*t, because he parked it in front of a fire hydrant.

As much as I’ve recently praised Rondo, this is the perfect example of why I still don’t like the guy as a person. He just seems like a total prick.

In fact, a friend of mine who bounces at an Orlando bar told me that during the playoffs a few years back, Rondo and Kendrick Perkins walked up to his bar and wanted to party a little. Problem was, Rondo didn’t have his driver’s license and he threw a fit when they wouldn’t let him in, shouting, “Do you know who I am?” multiple times. Thankfully, my friend responded, “I don’t know who you are, but you look like a teenage girl”.

And so ends another edition of “Cool Story, Bro” theater.

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When Orlando Magic and eventual Brooklyn Nets center Dwight Howard agreed to sign his one-year extension to “let the Magic try to keep him”, a lot of people were pissed off at Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade when he made fun of Howard on Twitter for his overzealous use of the word “loyalty”. But bless their silly hearts, Magic fans – *points to self, frowns* – believed that Howard really was giving his team a shot until they eventually learned that he only signed the deal to avoid a deadline trade to the Los Angeles Lakers. Loyalty indeed.

So imagine the response of the Internets yesterday when people revealed that Adidas and the NBA have been selling a Dwight Howard “Loyalty” t-shirt all along. Yikes, talk about ironic. Even hipsters have a hard time purchasing that t-shirt online, donating it to the Goodwill and then begrudgingly buying it after they “find it” a few days later. But this shirt got me thinking: “What other absurd shirts could the NBA be pumping out to bilk devoted fans out of their hard-earned cash?”

*scratches spot on chin where hair would grow if he could grow facial hair, fires up Photoshop*

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