Italian soccer star Mario Balotelli is only 22-years old, and as the face and presumable future of Manchester City and the Italian National Team, it’s safe to say that he has a long career ahead of him. But with so much success already coming at such a young age, Balotelli has seen his fair share of controversy, from the racial taunts of opposing teams at Euro 2012 to the daily tabloid reports on European websites and in trashy gossip rags. Of course we sympathize with him for the former and we love him for the latter, because athletes who recover from losing Europe’s biggest soccer tournament by partying with beauty queens in the wake of a paternity scandal brought about by one of soccer’s most notorious WAGs is stronger than a fresh pot of coffee to us.
But I mention Balotelli today not because he broke up with his pregnant girlfriend, Rafaella Fico, yet again because they can’t agree on where to have the baby and he allegedly can’t keep his striker in his Umbros. Instead, I’m bringing him up because – Dude, what the hell did you do to your Bentley?