I swear to God this is my last tennis post of the day, but it’s a good one. It’s the pride of Switzerland [Heyyy --Ed.] Roger Federer chasing down a ball and returning it cross-court. Through his legs, with his back to the court. It’s really not that amazing when you realize that he shaves his ass the same way. He’ll play Juan Martin Del Potro in the final, who beat Rafael Nadal in the semis. I guess that ends the debate about who the world’s No. 1 is on the men’s zzzzzz. Ah, tennis. via.
The Super Bowl blotted out all other sporting events this weekend, and that’s too bad*, because there was some outstanding action in other arenas.
RAFAEL NADAL IS A BADASS – Nadal, whose five-set semifinal match was the longest in Australian Open history (5 hours, 14 minutes), had one day less to prepare for the final than Roger Federer, and Nadal still beat him — in five sets that took almost four and a half hours. Then Federer cried. Awesome.
GEORGES ST-PIERRE: ALSO A BADASS — GSP’s domination of a completely overmatched BJ Penn at uFC 94 started talk of the French Candian taking on middleweight champion Anderson Silva for the sport’s next “superfight.” However, the fight I’m looking forward to most is Jon Jones versus anyone at all. His unanimous decision over Stephan Bonner was the most entertaining fight of the night.
HOCKEY, BASKETBALL STILL GOING ON – I just wanted to make them feel special. Just eleven days until the NBA’s All-Star weekend, so that’s something to kind of look forward to. I guess.
*not really
I wasn’t planning on writing an update on the scorching Australian Open today, then I saw Rafael Nadal’s Rambo face, and, well, I had to share.
Nadal (rawr!) continued his domination of the men’s bracket — he has yet to lose a set, by beating Frenchman Gilles “Jill” Simon 6-2, 7-5, 7-5 to advance to the semifinals, where he’ll face fellow Spaniard Fernando Verdasco.
On the women’s side, Serena Williams is the lone American remaining in the field; the other three semifinalists — Elena Dementieva, Dinara Safina, and Vera Zvonareva — are all Russian.
Serena advanced by beating Svetlana Kuznetsova in a match that began with the arena’s roof open before temperatures reached 107° (in excess of 130 on the court) and officials decided to close the roof. Oh yes, you read that correctly. “Hey, it’s 120 degrees on the court. Should we turn the air-conditioning on?” “Nah, let’s wait until gets f-ckin’ hotter.”
Newly crowned Wimbledon champ Rafael Nadal has a girlfriend that he does his best to hide from the media because he favors "privacy," as if that ever did anyone any good. Well, it turns out her name is Francesca "Xisca" Perello. Why Xisca? Because it's sexier, obvs. Details:
In a story full of butterflies and ponies farting rainbows, Nadal and “Xisca,” a 20-year-old college student, met through his sister, Isabel. Xisca is quite close to the entire Nadal family - particularly with Rafael’s grandmother… Apparently, being Rafael’s “secret girlfriend” is not a problem for Xisca, who prefers to remain out of the limelight.
Ugh. It disgusts me the way they shun the spotlight and only seem interested in cultivating a healthy relationship. What about MY needs? I have a right to know everything about your relationship! How am I supposed to speculate wildly about your private life if you keep it so… private? I'm telling you, athletes are such selfish jerks. Only care about themselves.
Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are the only two male tennis players on Earth that are worth watching, and yesterday they met in the Wimbledon final for the third consecutive year, with Nadal upsetting Federer's quest to be the first man to win six straight championships there. It was an epic five-set match that lasted nearly five hours of playing time (seven hours with the two rain delays), the longest and probably best Wimbledon final ever played.
A quick timeline of how it went down on the West Coast:
9:20 a.m. — Me, recently awake: "Oh, the Wimbledon final started at 6:00! Maybe I can catch the end! (turns on TV, rain delay, shocked to see Nadal won the first two sets.
10:00 - 1:00 — Grocery shopping, leisurely breakfast, trip to the book store, trip to the record store.
1:18 p.m. — Return home. No chance Wimbledon is STILL on. Turn on TV. Nadal is sopping wet and climbing through the crowd in celebration. The announcers agree that it's the greatest Wimbledon final ever.
Some people saw the greatest tennis match in decades. I had a tasty brunch and bought a Tom Robbins book. In your face, sports fans.
Fellow Spaniards Pau Gasol and Rafael Nadal star in this watch ad where they fling balls at each other's faces, presumably to win the affections of a hot lady with a cool box. Interesting stratagem. This commercial is apparently from a while ago, but it's new to the English-speaking world and, hey, Nadal just won the French Open and Gasol is playing shitty in the NBA Finals, so it's just relevant enough to work. And their last names rhyme. People love things that rhyme, like cock and Alfred Prufrock.
Since I don't speak Spanish, I'm assuming the hot chick says "Guys getting balls to the face makes me hot. If you do that, you can touch my box. It has expensive watches in it." They do so, whereupon they retire to the sexing boat, where the woman beds Gasol, but rejects Nadal for wearing that fruity sleeveless shirt.
